• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
    81·
    20 days ago

    Me in 2020: Yeah, sure. This may as well happen too.

    Tomazooma: ARE YOU NOT FRIGHTENED BY MY RAGING DESTRUCTION???

    Me: Yeah, no, I am. It’s just…there’s a LOT going on right now.

    Tom: MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR IMMINENT DEMISE???

    Me: Yeah. You just chose the wrong year for this.

    Tom: CONFUSION!!! EXPLAIN YOURSELF PUNY HUMAN!!!

    Me: Look, I don’t know what to tell you. We got a pandemic going on, a toilet paper shortage, murder hornets, racial tensions with police just hit maybe an all time peak, Austrailia and California can best be described as on fire, businesses are shut down, social services people need to survive are diminished, Netflix is shutting down almost all projects, there’s a food shortage, there’s industrial collapse over lack of supplies, and on top of all that, we know theres an election coming up which we all know is always a shitshow of misery and emotionally manipulative advertisements.

    A 50 foot killer totem pole just isn’t the attention grabbing headline it would have been in 2019. I’m not even sure you crack the top 10. Soooooo, yeah man. Go ahead. Rampage away. Not sure the news is even going to cover this story right now. MAYBE if it’s a slow news day, and trump hasn’t tweeted covfefe again."

    Tom: GOD DAMN DUDE…

    • insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafeEnglish
      6·
      20 days ago

      Me: “Listen man, instant death? By a giant Totem‽ Sign me up. You’re just out here doing your job, living your best life! You’re not even hiding it in some 500-page legal document, no lies, no ads. Really refreshing strategy and trustworthy. High point of my year. Awesome voice by the way, has anyone ever told you that you should be a voice actor? When the annihilation is complete, that is.”

      Tom: “YOU WILL STILL BE DESTROYED. But that’s kinda bumming me out, I gotta be honest. What’s wrong with this place?”

  • insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafeEnglish
    15·
    21 days ago

    “Sorry for waking you up dude, we just wanted to know if you wanted to help us throw stuff in the volcano.”

    “Tomazooma… is not sure that is a wise idea.”

    “Nah, Dave is a geologist and he says it’s cool. Even did math and measurements, instrument-type-stuff.”

    “NICE. You got a boulder of obsidian, maybe a giant chandelier or something?”

    “That dumptruck of green and clear beer-bottles? Dave’s idea, our idea to save them and take off the labels. We figured you could safely pour it in.”

    “ACCEPTABLE.”