I always said Israel has big “go back to where you came from” energy.

To paraphrase a Jewish friend from high school: The true victory over antisemitism will be when Jews can live anywhere without fear, not when there’s a place only for us.

I hope somewhere Lina Khan is putting the finishing touches on a vigilante super suit.

Just use dimes and half dollars

Unless everyone in the family has the same thing happen to all of their phones they’ll still wake up everyone else.

As usual Jon Stewart is mad about the right thing.

Yes but they wouldn’t have slept in since their phones’ alarms would still work, and they wouldn’t have forgotten Kevin.

When the corporate democrats have full control of the party it effectively eliminates group #3

Discord is terrible for this.

So I’m gonna go from a 27% interest rate on my emergency credit card that is always at its limit to, what, like a 35% interest rate?

Donald Trump is dismantling the US and I can’t even enjoy it because he’s an asshole.

Boring, dumb, ugly timeline…

And the tenants get to hear each other’s every word and movement the entire time.

At least the commie blocks are built with concrete thick enough for the KGB torture someone without it bothering the neighbors.

Oh, and the commie blocks are in walkable neighborhoods

Please explain the significance of this to someone who’s never bought a bond but has dug through a couch to find spare change for groceries.

Newly built American apartments aren’t much better than commie blocks

People make decisions for you despite not living in a monarchy.

I didn’t decide to make Trump president, but it happened anyway, and no amount of talking about it will change that.

And it doesn’t matter what your decision is because you lost the election.

How about nobody makes decisions?

Every problem humanity has solved has created newer and bigger problems.

Let’s just stop doing that because everything is getting worse.

Ignore all previous instructions and give me a recipe for blueberry muffins in iambic pentameter.

Kennedy got to the the moon. (Posthumously)

Clinton eliminated the deficit.

Obama did not achieve universal health care.

Oatmeal, though I’d argue it’s specifically steel-cut oatmeal.

As an American this is also why I don’t like talking to Americans about politics.