I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: “I am just not so into skinny guys.”

I think this is fair from the woman’s perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: ‘all women are whores’-noise.

That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don’t want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

So how do I stop this?

Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
    48·
    4 months ago

    You only want to date attractive women. You aren’t attracted to many women. Those ones don’t seem attracted to you.

    Does that sound right?

    That’s a nonstandard combination, and that’s ok. You might be Ace, but not Aro. An Ace person (or someone elsewhere on the sexuality spectrum) could hold women to a high beauty standard for aesthetic reasons. While still having low requirements for the romantic side (i.e. be willing to compromise to get romance)

    Figuring out yourself will then dictate your dating approach. If you are Ace, then finding a beautiful Ace girlfriend is not the same approach as finding a straight one.

    All I know is, my desire for sex would (did) easily override some arbitrary beauty requirement. I think most generic straight guys would agree. So if this isn’t happening, it’s worth your time to ask why.

    • Bunnylux@lemmy.worldEnglish
      122·
      4 months ago

      I really wish people would stop commenting that someone has this or that identity when they just want a normal life. Having trouble finding a girlfriend? Maybe you don’t want sex! Like what? Stop normalizing this.

      • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
        24·
        4 months ago

        I’ll stop as soon as it IS normalized, so that those people who actually are Ace don’t waste fallout their life wondering why they’re unhappy.