I’m pretty sure my plans are fine. Jesus is going to take one look at us and turn around.
The rapture probably did happen but nobody on earth was worthy.
It’s almost 9pm where I am and there’s no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.
Maybe everyone around you is a filthy sinner.
Maybe that’s been the joke for centuries. The rapture happened but nobody made the cut. Seems consistent with the Bible.
We are living in the apocalypse, but nobody told us
In hindsight, there may have been signs…
Maybe they’re the filthy sinner and got left behind
Oh if the rapture people’s idea of god is the right one, I’m definitely not getting into heaven. But that’s ok, heaven would be full of people I’d never want to hang out with anyway.
19th here, I think I got left behind.
It’s happening on the 9th of 18th month, we’ve still got some time.
Meh… I prefer the Zorp scenario
Imagine if what qualified to get raptured were believing in it. The world would be so much better without all those people!
They may have screwed up their ISO date format. They really mean it’ll happen on the 9th day of the 18th month of 2024.
It tracks
Never mind the old flippediroo of the day and month. What I want to know is why is there a dash in front of the date. I thought the separators went between the things to be separated.
wordington rapture
It’s probably a coded message. Read it in the order of colors.
Jesus is rapture - 9-18-24 will on coming the happen.
It all makes sense!
JESUS IS THE RAPTURE
COMING WILL HAPPEN ON 9-18-24
sigh… if you insist
JESUS IS A RAPTOR
This image is stained on my occipital lobe
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
Matthew 24:36.
RTFM, noob.
Does this imply that the rapture won’t happen on any day any man or angel predicted it, and suggest that these crackpots are either delivering a “no rapture today” message from the Lord Almighty or else embarrassing Her into putting it off?
RTFB
“Read The Fisherman Matthew”?
Read the fucking moom
Ride turtles for money
Ready Tortellini Featuring Mushrooms
Ride the Frigging Mmmrobot
Reginald, The Fingerless Mittens!
I wish
Welp, I have only now seen this post on the 19.09.2024.
I guess I did not only miss the notification, but also the rapture itself.
WTF! I missed it? Did every single Jehovah’s witness drink the juice so they could fly into the spaceship or what? Postponed?
Fun fact: Jehovah’s witnesses think only 144,000 men go to heaven and then all the good JWs get new bodies on Earth.
Funner fact. The Jehovah’s Witnesses calculated that the year would be 1844, and someone did start a religion that year claiming to be the return, but that was in Persia, so they didn’t know. They decided they must have miscalculated, and recalculated the date multiple times until 1900 at which point they basically just said, “he’s late.” They were literally started to look for the return of Christ, and because it didn’t happen exactly the way they thought it should, they gave up and claimed that God must be wrong.
I have fun with JWs when they come to my door.
I’m afraid you’re thinking of Seventh Day Adventists, who were the result of the 1844 Great Disappointment of the Millerite movement after the predicted apocalypse didn’t happen.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Disappointment
Now here’s the truly weird part:
Members of the Baháʼí Faith believe that Miller’s interpretation of signs and dates of the coming of Jesus were, for the most part, correct.[39] They believe that the fulfillment of biblical prophecies of the coming of Christ came through a forerunner of their own religion, the Báb, who declared that he was the “Promised One” on May 23, 1844, and began openly teaching in Persia in October 1844.[40][41] Several Baháʼí books and pamphlets make mention of the Millerites, the prophecies used by Miller and the Great Disappointment, most notably Baháʼí follower William Sears’ Thief in the Night.[42][43][44]
It was noted that the year AD 1844 was also the Year AH 1260. Sears tied Daniel’s prophecies in with the Book of Revelation in the New Testament in support of Baháʼí teaching, interpreting the year 1260 as the “times, time and half a time” of Daniel 7:25 (3 and 1/2 years = 42 months = 1,260 days). Using the same day-year principle as did William Miller, Sears decoded these texts into the year AH 1260, or 1844.[42]
It is believed by Baháʼís that if William Miller had known the year 1844 was also the year AH 1260, then he may have considered that there were other signs to look for. The Baháʼí interpretation of chapters 11 and 12 of the Book of Revelation, together with the predictions of Daniel, were explained by 'Abdu’l-Bahá, the son of the founder of the Baháʼí Faith, to Laura Clifford Barney and published in 1908 in Chapters 10, 11 and 13 of “Some Answered Questions”. The explanation provided in Chapter 10 draws on the same biblical verses that William Miller used, and comes to the same conclusion about the year in which to expect the ‘cleansing of the sanctuary’ which was interpreted by 'Abdu’l-Bahá to be the ‘dawn’ of a new ‘Revelation’ – AD 1844.[citation needed]
I’m thoroughly impressed. Not many know about The Baha’is.
Thanks for the clarification on the 7th Day Adventists
FWIW, you’re not totally off. There’s a direct link between JWs and Adventists, though JWs don’t like to admit it.
The two are interrelated. Charles Taze Russel (founder of what is now called the Jehovah’s Witnesses) was associated with the Millerites. Lots of their doctrine was copied from the 7th Day Adventists, including the numerology of the timeline that gets them to 1914 as “the” year. That one was supposed to be just a step along the way, but after WWI happened, it was a lot of pointing and saying “see, we predicted something big would happen”.
Shit! I had it all wrong! Okay but now that the rapture is over and not gonna happen anymore, then maybe everyone can go back to their regularly scheduled Friday?
so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god’ll change it?
what if I make a website that just says “the rapture will be [current date +1]”
checkmate?
HAPP EN
The miracle of prophecy is not related to the miracle of proper kerning.
The kerning looks okay - it’s the font that’s weird.
Fuck no it ain’t gonna happen, I gotta finish my studying so I can actually work fuck that
