I came out as bi to her and then she thought me and my girlfriend wanted to sleep with her…
Her and I were close friends and confided in each other about depression, traumatic upbringings, and all sorts of stuff. I tell her in confidence that I think I’m bi and it’s something I struggled with all my life and only came to realize it then. She’s supportive because she’s pansexual and comes from a religious conservative background.
She asks me how my then girlfriend was taking it and I said she was excited because now she may get to have mmf and mfm threesomes. She says she thinks that’s really cool and asked if that meant we were open in the relationship so I said ya.
Fast forward a month or so later, she invites us all over to her place to hang out and smoke weed and chill and sleep over so we stay on the couch and she sleeps in her bed after a fun night. The next day she texts me that she’s not used to people treating her nicely and she thought she picked up vibes from both of us about wanting to sleep with her (???) and that she wasn’t comfortable with that.
We’re both shocked at this point because both of us had no intention of that and just wanted to chat, have weed, and talk about life and joke around and have fun. I tell her that this wasn’t our intent and that I’m really sad to hear that she felt that way from our actions and that we just wanted to enjoy her company since (I thought) we all had fun.
She went no contact pretty abruptly afterwards and 4 years later I’m still salty about the whole thing. I feel like I should not have shared that part about myself :(
Back in primary school (end of 1997), my best friend went to a different high school the next year and we never spoke again.
I was in the military and was friends with a guy I worked with. When I got promoted I changed positions, so I didn’t see him much at work, but we still hung out outside of work often.
One day he did something that could have gotten him in a lot of trouble. I was the only NCO (Sargent) around when it happened. My supervisor offered to take care of the punishment himself because he knew we were friends. I said no, he’s my friend, I witnessed it, so I’ll take care of it. Plus I was able to convince them to just give him some paperwork, instead of more severe punishment he could have had.
I took him into a private area, explained what he did wrong and that he was only getting paperwork. He didn’t say a word, just signed it and walked out. I tried to go talk to him after work and his roommate came out calling me all sorts of names, asking how I could do that to him, and how I was a power tripping asshole, on and on. I asked if I could talk to my friend and explain and he told me my friend requested I never come back over.
I was at that base another year and he never talked to me again.
This is what happens when the rules don’t apply to everybody equally. The military is at the top of the class for doing so. Still it happens; where it appears a “guilty bastard” avoids the usual punishment thru influence, rank, or some other reason. It sets a very bad example, and the troops can get testy if they don’t get the same (perceived) treatment.
I used to have an online friend who never really texts me first unless I do. Since they’re a leftie, I wished them on Happy Left-handers Day and they replied that I don’t need to wish them, which I only did to spark some conversation. This put me off and I went “Alr I won’t bother texting you ever” and they went “Ok”.
Haven’t texted them in 3 months, neither did they (as they don’t ever). Idk who is the idiot here, me, she or both.
I don’t really like ending friendships from my side, so I might text them on her birthday and see how it goes.
For the whole paragraph the pronoun in use is 'them ’ except for the end, it is ‘she’. Can I assume her sex is female and her gender is something different?
Also you sound like a caring and persistent person. It is valuable to have a friend like this.
Mad she didn’t get invited to a concert my GF bought tickets to. Welp
I mean, if my friends knew I was a huge fan of the band, were going and weren’t like, “tickets are £50, do you want one?” It would sting.
Thats a specific situation you’re imagining and isnt necessarily what happened
I did realise that it’s a specific situation but as the original post didn’t have more context, I didn’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to suggest some.
If OP wants to expand on the situation, they’re welcome to.
I wasn’t planning on it, my GF bought the tickets without asking me about it, and didn’t know about my pal being into the band. But my friend figured I was the one who left her out. Plus, not everyone gets invited to everything, hey I’m dating someone here. Called me up and berated me about being a bad friend without saying what it was she was mad about. I prefer not to have friends that use that kind of rhetoric.
I don’t think there’s a reason, which I think is the saddest reason. Growing up and drifting apart. Tried many times to fire up conversations but don’t know where to start.
If that’s the case, my gut feeling is you may have been friends out of convenience. For friends I haven’t talked to in decades; we pick up like no time has passed at all.
Nah these things are funny like that you can end up just like this with very close friends, it’s not inevitable but you also can’t reasonably predict which friendships are like the ones you describe that can survive a long hibernation and ones that for all the will in the world enter a freeze from which they never fully thaw.
Maybe, I’m biased on all my friends from highschool onward. We lost touch because of moves and family obligations…but when we find each other again is is like no time has past.
Good friend, helped me through my parents long divorce. I moved abroad and got a bit lonely out there. Him and his then longterm gf who I was also good friends with had planned to come out and see me.
They then split shortly before. I wanted to be friends with both of them, but if I’m honest with myself, I thought the gf had feelings for me, as her texts to me were getting very high in emoji content. I encouraged them both to come separately and my friend said that our friendship was over if his ex comes to visit me. I guess he knew me better than I knew myself.
He didn’t visit, she did. Nothing happened but there were clearly mixed messages on my side. Lost two good friends in one go.
Have made a few good friends since then, but I do miss him and that social circle a lot. I surprisingly haven’t learned to not take liberties in friendship circles, but I’m trying to learn.
In 2016, when I voted Bernie Sanders.
I lost two friends that year, because they wanted Clinton.
Welp, we knew who voted for the right person back then.
Overdose
Dude became an outspoken anti vaxxer, tin foil hat wearing plandemic twat.
The final nail was when he shows up at our business out of the blue one day (literally had not spoken with him in almost a year) where he had left some oil paintings & other artwork to pick them up, then sent a shitty passive aggressive text the next day about how they were not kept in perfect condition.
My dude, you left them without a word otherwise over 4 years ago, we have shit to do besides take care of discarded art.
Whenever I wanted to hang out she was at volleyball practice
I canceled on the biweekly DnD session because it was scheduled for Halloween and I had plans. Told him a little last minute (day before when I realized).
Dude torpedoed our 10 year friendship over that.
Agree with other responder. End of October was… Stressful. Way more for some than others. This might be one of those situations where trying an “Are you OK?” would be all that’s needed to start mending.
2023
Could it be the last straw?
Not really? It was his first time DMing. He was doing a homebrew story. Actually Foundry, not DnD. It was my first time playing and I was really struggling with it. I wasn’t a fan of where the party was taking it and each session was basically wandering aimlessly through a cave and repeating my only attack (sling a rock) at whatever monsters we found. I let him know that I wasn’t enjoying it and there wasn’t a lot for my character to do and he just linked me to the rules website.
I asked for advice on Lemmy, and they suggested I ask for like a 15 minute out of character period at the start of next session to express what our goals were in the game. That was scheduled for the session that I ultimately bailed on.
I got a long string of texts the next morning about how I don’t respect him and never respected him and a lot of other shit. I dunno.
It seems that in the past he felt bad about something you did to him, he give you another chance and you did the thing about cancelling at the last moment. So the real issue was the previous one, nor the latter (the one you said at the beginning)
Sorry for my english.
If he was, he made no effort to tell me what that was, so that’s on him.
Was that this year? Halloween wasn’t too long ago, maybe he was in a bad mood/unstable situation. You may recover if he reconsiders, it feels a bit extreme to burn a decade old bridge just because of that
Last year.
:/ sorry
I forgor 💀
Hop yo remem!
Friend moved and changed his cell number at same time… I didn’t yet have his email so lost contact.
Found him years later at a random shop, got his new contact info and still besties today :)
Homie got way into flat-earth bullshit. We (me and other friends) tried everything from ridicule, indulgence, and finally offering “agree to disagree and stop talking about it”. He went no-contact with all of us, sold his house and left town.
