It’s been pretty much exactly 20 years since a psychologist first suspected I have adhd. I finally got a Ritalin. The mixture of grief and elation I’m feeling is indescribable. I was robbed of so, so much in my teens and early-mid twenties, but I can finally begin to live my life.
Story if you want it: my mum took me to a child psychologist when I was 7 to get an opinion of whether it’d be a good idea that a skip a grade. I only know this because I overheard her telling it to friends as a funny story, and going like hahaha as if MY child is disabled/r-slur (where I live, people use disabled as a derogative, both for the disabled and as a generic one. Similar to how some people say gay as an insult. So, idk an accurate translation, it’s inbetween). This was when I was maybe 12? I googled (at school, didn’t have my own PC) and more or less concluded I have adhd, and that it wouldn’t be safe or worthwhile to bring it up with mum.
As soon as I moved out (at about 19), I went to my GP about troubles focusing that I’d had my entire life. I think that’s how I put it. She referred me to a neurologist and did bloodwork, but I never went, because the GP office gave the diagnostics and referral to my mum when she went to the office (it was her doc too; I’ve switched since). Mum gave me shit. My health insurance ran through her because I was a full time student, so, while it wasn’t legal to show her my diagnoses, she would’ve seen what doctors billed my appointment through her insurance.
I struggled a bunch both with physical health and depression in my early twenties. So an adhd diagnosis wasn’t the first of my worried. I did go to a psychologist who did a mini adhd test and concluded I had it. I must’ve been like 23? So I took her diagnosis to my psychiatrist who was treating my depression. Psychiatrist basically said that that’s ridiculous, because I’ve graduated high school and even have a bachelors in a difficult area. I went back to the psychologist to get a recommendation for a new psychiatrist. Took about 3 years to get an appointment (not really their fault; they’re suuuper booked out and kept telling me to call back in two weeks, and I kept forgetting because, well, adhd. I kinda just tried again every few months when i remembered.)
New psych is great. But I couldn’t immediately get meds because they’re a little hard on the heart, and so is my autoimmune disease. Had to get some ultrasounds, ECG, bloodwork. Would’ve taken probably a week or two as doctors usually aren’t as booked out here (unless they’re the only non private psych who treats adult adhd) but i suck at making appointments, so that was another few months.
I finally got the ok from all of them, and I got my prescription. I cried. At first from relief and joy. And then I actually tried them. And I cried again. This could’ve been how I felt my entire life? So much hardship and pain that could’ve been avoided. So much disappointment and ‘but you’re so smart!’. I mightn’t even be depressed if I hadn’t suffered this much every single day of my entire life.
If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading all that! What’s your adhd story?
Welcome friend! I hope your experience is as good as mine with taking meds and living with ADHD.
I never knew i had it until I was 23 and wadnt officially diagnosed until I was 26. I spent my whole life thinking I was lazy, stupid, and blamed all the other things that my ADHD created like anxiety and depression.
I went to 2 psychs, one said i had depression which yea no shit, you’d be depressed too if you couldn’t do anything and wanted to do everything all at the same time for over 20 years, but the second psych i went to immediately recommended ADHD meds given all the symptoms i told her about as well as all the things i had already tried or was currently doing and still do to this day.
Its been an experience learning to not only do what I love/need to do but also rest. Part of me wants to go forever but if I dont rest, ill burn out. Overall its beem very positive for me. My mood is better, I can focus, I dont hear bits of music on reapeat every day all the time, I CAN THINK.
Absolutely life changing. I feel like i got off easy, first med I tried (generic adderall) has worked very well for me. Only noticeble side effect is I’m less hungry which is fine because i like to intermittent fast anyways.
My psychologist did say that most people with untreated adhd have depression!
My experience on meds is pretty similar. Holy shit is it nice when it’s quiet in your head. I get so fucking much done. And I can rest more productively, I actually have some energy left over at the end of the day to exercise, read or draw. I knew I was exhausted all the time, but I never knew how much easier it could be if you don’t use up so much energy for every tiny task.
Right? Truly a gift man. Feels like I have a life now. Running your brain in overdrive all the time is exhausting.
And yea anxiety and depression are often co-morbid with untreated ADHD, my psych has said as much as well.
I’m really happy to hear that its working well for you. I hope that continues.
Same here and I love it. It makes intermittent fasting so easy but it also doesn’t stop me from eating. I just don’t get hungry every 30 min anymore. My psych was telling me how loss of appetite could be a symptom that I need to keep an eye on and I was just like “Doc, I’m over 270 lbs. I could do with a reduced appetite.” Sure enough I’ve been losing slightly over 1lb per week with no real effort and I’m still eating at least one full meal per day and usually two.
I almost want to say I’d miss this. But I think I’d rather not be spacing out humming “pink floyd - The Trial” and actually doing something
Believe me, this isnt the “i got a song stuck in my head” thing.
This is “I have a very specifc part of a song stuck in my head that repeats over and over again at nauseum” thing. It continues to be my measure for whether my meds are working or not.
I’m familiar. Give The Trial a listen, it’s a very repetitive sound, with multiple exaggerated theatrical verses that each can get stuck in your head. I had a very long week with that song, i have it thoroughly memorized now.