(camera focuses on the news playing on a TV in a home in the countryside, slowly pulling back away from the monitor)
“…thanks to their efforts, experts have now stated with certainty that this threat has been eradicated…”
(the camera has pulled back enough that the screen is framed by an outside window with a tree trunk coming into frame from the right)
“…and many communities in the northwest united states can breathe easier knowing that these dreaded hornets are no longer found on our shores. Reporting from Seattle…”
(focus shifts to the tree bark. Buzzing is heard, getting louder and louder until a single murder hornet queen lands on the tree. Cut to black. Roll credits)
Coming Soon…
MURDER H4NET
Snakes On A Plane 4: This Time It’s Hornets- A film by Chat GPT
Murd3r Horn3t: The Buzz3ning
“Yeah, yeah, we’re totally eradicated. All is now fine, there’s nothing to worry about. Sleep well!” - Sneaky Murder Hornet.
“Somehow, the murder hornets have returned.”
Yeah sure “murder hornets”. Like “murder japs”, “murder communists”, “murder vietnamese”, “murder gays”, “murder blacks” or “murder arabs” before. I think I’ll hold off celebrating until I know how much oil those hornets had in stock.
Hey man, I don’t disagree with you.
However, I think if you take every article you read and turn it into, “meanwhile I am waiting for someone to fix the planer.” You are not really doing much. All of us, including myself, want what you want but those are things that are irrelevant to this article and we should take to things that are relevant.
Fuck fascism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, and anything else that is down right degrading to any human being who is just trying to be happy
In the same vain though, fuck hornets, fuck those little murderous monstrosities.
That was a joke about USA assigning threatening labels to anything it threatens or exploits to make public afraid of it instead of being supportive of it. As most jokes, it based on the subversion of expectations, which in this case was the suggestion that hornets are good and misunderstood. Comparing them and what they’re doing to bees to gay or black people was intended as a sprinkle of dark humor, implying their (hornets!) destructive nature finds parrarels with the multitude of oppressed kinds of people.
Way to tell me I’m unfunny and my sense of humor sucks, man (jk)
For what it’s worth, I chuckled at your comment. :-)
I appreciate that, thank you.
why so mad bro? did a murder hornet kill your family and now you’re pissed because the farmers of America didn’t kill them faster?
They really didn’t go with homicidal hornets? We actin’ like fun alliterations just come around all the time now?
America and its “wars against…”
America hasn’t won any war since WWII, and that includes wars against drugs, countries, people, religions, etc. I highly doubt they won this one. I remember “mission accomplished”
sucks that Canadians can’t win wars either, eh?
Until the next ones arrive on another ship
a space ship
EDF! EDF!
Quatermass disapproves
Hey hey, the US actually won a war! Been a long time coming…
Would have been solved much quicker if they where ceo killing hornets
LMAO. Its sad that this is so funny because its true.
Article written by Dr. M. Horneté
Brilliant thanks for the chuckle mate.
Supportive Emu noises
Same kind of win as with the war in Afghanistan ?
Whew. Looks like the feds didn’t find the colony of buzzy buddies I’ve been nurturing in the suburbs.
Can’t wait for spring!
[✓] Small Pox
[✓] Murder Hornets
[ ] Twitter
We’re almost there, humanity!
Can’t you just literally put an [X] for Twitter?
[ ] X
[X] Twitter
[X] The App Formerly Known as Twitter
[Twitter] Twitter
[❌] Twitter
Small pox won’t be checked for long.
Declared extinct in the wild by the WHO in 1980.
What does Pete Townshend have to do with any of this?
Rest assured, he won’t get fooled again
RFK will probably support reintroduction, so…
Yes, the only three problems!
Oh wait someone has started unchecking all the previously checked boxes
IS THAT RFK WITH A FOLDING CHAIR?!
[ ] Polio
[ ] Mumps
Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if RFK Jr. Came out in favor of murder hornets
He needs more carcasses for his falcon
Uhh, first win since WW2. Congrats.
Smallpox?
(cough desert storm)
How about every fucking World Series there bucko? Nice try!
I’m guessing you mean the mislabeled North American Championship?
Now you gotta send help to Australia. Those damned emus are a worthy adversary.
Who to help? Australia is run by emus. They won in war.
🫣
