I’m finally going to nail Molly Ringwald.
This is just news years resolutions except you don’t intend to keep them 😂
Ok, here I go: I will finally hit the gym, find someone to love, get a better job, learn to play an instrument, become a more patient and confident person, read the books I’ve bought, play the games I’ve bought, learn a new language, spend more time with people I care about, try LSD, start a master’s degree and do something about my receding hairline. Good luck, future me.
I’m gonna pants Vladimir and push him down some stairs
Ooh - I’ll do an impossible one:
“I will be able to afford a house on double the median household income for my region”
Let’s not go crazy. Stick with the god dick punching thing.
Yeehaw! In 2025 I’m going to defeat my personal demons with a fucking flourish and get yolked as hell doing it.
I’m going to evenly microwave a Hot Pocket.
You should settle for something more realistic like punching god in the taint
I’m getting out of my comfort zone
In 2025 I’m going to get a good night’s sleep every night. Further, I will wake feeling rested and ready to take on the world
Damn, look at this guy going right to the “bending the laws of the universe” boasts.
And you will wake up early in the morning too, compatible with society
I will wake feeling rested
Depending on your situation, a sleep study and CPAP could help with that.
Been there, doing that. I love and hate my cpap.
It changed my life. I hate it, but I’d be dying without it.
Soooo…a typical New Year’s resolution then.
I will win PM of Canada through election or coup, then annex one by one each useful America state!
I suggest annexing the entirety of the US as a single province for the shits & giggles. I don’t think they’d ever recover from that exceptionally bruised ego. LOL
But my state is the besttttt you can’t lump me in with the other 'Mericans nooooo
I would like to volunteer the Pacific states first as we have excellent beer and wine
In 2025 I am going to steal slood from the gods for mankind. This will fix everything.
hilarious, but Google search for the term only shows this Tumblr post, and there’s no equivalent term in Swedish that I know of. But we should make it a tradition anyways.
this year i’m going to invent the term in swedish
Most truthful tumblr post
I believe this refers to Heitstrenging.
The Wikipedia page doesn’t seem to mention the craziness of the oaths to the point of gods, but seems to be more about boastful things people would actually try to do. From the above link:
Heitstrengingar took place at Yule and other sacrificial feasts, weddings, arvals, and banquets and often acted as a form of bragging and promising the performance of an often great feat.
Which seems to have been extrapolated on a bit for the post.
My Yule boasting! I am going be less judgmental and critical. This weighs on me heavily so it’s definitely a more Herculean task for me than it might be for someone else 😊
Hmm … this is going to need more thought or more brain altering substances … perhaps both … let me get back to you on this …
The “more thought” is a barrel of mead of course!
And an ounce of weed, but that was already there
Technically you have till next 12/31
