For example:
- You can fly but you can never stop flying
- You can turn invisible, but never be seen again
God of Toilet Paper.
You might laugh, but I would own the world.
If you were in my favor, you would get the softest, never-chafing, cleanest single-wipe-clean TP ever. No matter what you ate, no matter how spicy, no matter how ill, you could be assured of pain-free, cooling, soothing, wipes. It would be beautiful. Rainbows and peace, no matter how violent the shit
Piss me off? Anything you choose to clean your backside with is then designated TP. I will clog all the toilets, all the plumbing, all the sewers. I can make it all gympie-gympie leaves, sandpaper, wax paper, or just vanish mid-wipe. No matter how much you wiped your already raw ass, there would still be more. I would be a scourge on the Earth, and all would have to bow down before me. You would love me. You would hate me.
He who controls the comfort of the sphincter, controls the world.
Everyone within my earshot has to tell the truth.
Works with TV, radio. Any real time communication.
I think this should also work on myself
I would use this power to make a communist organization of my choice completely immune to infiltration
Imagine an America without COINTELPRO
The ability to shapeshift doesn’t really get affected by this caveat, so that remains about as appealing as it was before.
Taken to an extreme, one can get a controllable/turn-off-able biological immortality and at-will violation of conservation of matter/energy.
super good luck. like the the chick from deadpool 2 I think or longshots if it always stayed on.
the bad thing about have always luck on is that bad things can happen to you anyways on prior of your “good luck”
I mean its “always” active. no?
well, if your mom or dad got shot instead of you and that means good luck, then i guess i’m wrong
I guess. I mean in deadpool all the rest of the team mostly died.
Teleport. Its always on, so I’m just flickering on the spot constantly so fast that its only visible on some cameras.
At the same time this gives me the seeming ability to fly at will, be anywhere, and potentially float (destructively) through walls.
You’d effectively be capable of being in two places at once.
Oh wow, yeah, just flickering between two or more points of existence. It’d be hard to have a simultaneous conversation, but I’m just thinking now of the restaurant possibilities… having a nandos whilst eating a creme mont blanc
Make billionaires turn inside out when they’re on the same planet as me
It happens continuously and so fast its not perceptible
So, question: when the billionaire dies, does their wealth transfer according to local laws? So an entire lineage could instantly turn inside out, including bastard children on the fringes of inheritance, with only an estate tax to save them?
Logically since all billionaires die, their lineage would be gradually wiped out.
Where it gets tricky is how they would manage the money. If the money is not directly controlled by them, are they billionaires? So does the CFO of a multi billion dollar company also get turned inside out?
It would be a heck of a monkey paw without stipulations that would make the point worthless.
Every 12 hours, the richest person in the world turns inside out. Just one, every 12 hours. The only way to stop it is if capitalism ends and people no longer hoard wealth.
Bro casted familicide
Unzip failure on all of humanity
Counterpoint:
Who cares?
The traumatic shock of any one person personally possessing a billion dollars or more in wealth being Dr. Manhattan’d would eventually lead people to realize that they need to redistribute wealth.
The potential number of potentially innocent people killed by this process is infinitesimal compared to the deaths and uneccessary harm caused by the general hoarding of wealth.
The new, hard mandated moral norm of the planet would be that possessing over a billion dollars gets you functionally smote by god, obviously the universe has imposed a hard cap on wealth accumulation and thus it is actually bad.
You can quibble about inflation, and I can quibble about making some more precise measure based on a formulation revolving around proportion to the median wealth of 100 miles of where the ‘billionaire’ is currently standing.
We are talking about magical superpowers here, presumably there would be a magical way to force actual transparency of hidden assets and what not, account for non liquid investements, all that.
A sane world that exists after this paradigm would put in place basically the reverse of overdraft protection, it would automatically stop any desposit that would make your net wealth exceed the magic number, it would automatically disperse shares of stocks or CDs or bonds or whatever to some kind of public pool or random people such that no individual ever singly has over a billion bucks or whatever the magic number is.
If you did not create a world like that, then ‘random’ people would keep liquifying whenever their net wealth exceedes magic number.
Every incentive would thus exist for all but the literally suicidal to carefully manage their investments and basically create something like the above mentioned system.
… You could probably make a decent anime or show out of this idea.
Its like a Death Note on autopilot, and if it is actually emmenating from a single person, doubtless a number of oligarchs would attempt to hide their wealth, as well as probe the system to figure out its rules, figure out who the actual person with this ‘superpower’ is, and kill them.
This person may not even know it is them, and then they may figure it out on their own, or may be prevented from being assasinated by some other group that did figure out it is them, and wants to protect them because billionaires bad.
Tons of dramatic person to person character dynamics, as well as larger scale social conflict plot setups here.
A couple of multi-millionaires would pay you to stop and then you’d implode.
Still a net win for everyone else though, I support this.
If you don’t specify a currency or a grade of inflation, this might kill far more people than expected.
1 billion Iranian Rial for instance is just about 23752 USD.
Healing of all kinds. Ageing, sickness, and wounds.
Can’t die. It’s gonna suck in 800 trillion years. Imagine if you can’t sleep either because you don’t need to recuperate.
The dream of engineers: they can’t get sick so no depression, they don’t need to sleep so infinite focus and learning, and half a million years would be sufficient to build a large underground automated city and preparing space travel to find solutions for their curse
Ah yes, I also play factorio/satisfactory/dwarf fortress/rim world. I could easily do 1000 years with each of those, but a million might be streatching it
Recuperate? I don’t sleep to recuperate, only to pass time.
I didn’t say Immortal. Death by violence is certainly possible.
You suddenly die of cancer that you’ve healed faster than your immune system can kill
Eh, I would class that under sickness.
I’d chose telekinesis. Heck man i’m sick of having only 2 hands and i’m lazy. I’m ready to use it everytime.
Omnipotence
a whole gallon of jizz every time i cum
You never stop coming
yes 👍
Kegel would hate you
This is pretty simple though right?
Healing factor - always-on healing.
That’s basically psoriasis.
Boom. cancer. Now you’re deadpool
Monkey Paw: Cancer cells also heal
Deadpool?
What if there’s an earthquake and you get stuck under a mountain of rubble? Could take months for you to get out of there. How about a skiing accident involving an avalanche? Could take even longer. When you are completely immortal, you suddenly start to view certain risks in a very different way.
Always on healing includes mental health :)
How crazy of a healing factor are we talking about. Broken bones healed in a day? Or healing from a gunshot to the brain?
Having a healing power that would let me lose an arm or a lung and regrow it would be awesome. But regrowing a brain would be problematic.
Does healing include not aging? Or the tearing and rebuilding of muscles? It would be wild to have a healing factor that allows you to essentially body build in a single day.
Have you not read the hundreds of stories about people unable to die?
Healing factor - always-on healing.
Don’t we already have that?
Not for everything and not good enough though.
Especially for something as complex as mental illnesses/trauma your body has hardly any ability to heal by itself.
Though then we can get pedantic: How long should you feel down when someone you love died? Because I don’t consider it a bad thing for something like this to take a while before healing. It’d suck to attend their funeral having completely healed already.
Sometimes the always on healing works so good cells start doing things like reactivating telomerase and ignoring the signals for programmed cell death and become cancer, sometimes turning effectively immortal.
That is easy: super intelligence
You are too smart and realize how fucked up the world is and become severely depressed.
You don’t need to be too smart to see this… unless you’re a liberal redditor then you surely think you are.
I’m using you the same as you are, not meaning you the commenter lol
Every lonely fuck thinking he is the smartest person on the planet is replying to this
Great way to feel lonely and isolated! It’s already an issue “gifted” folk struggle with, and the more “gifted” you are, the more isolated you tend to be
I think I’d manage.
Not if you learn to understand the people around you, and their limitations, and to anticipate and work around them with compassion and understanding.
This is the way.
Having no to few peers is isolating no matter how compassionate you are.
Shapeshifting. It’s what I wanted anyway and I can always just be continuously toggling the length of my little toenail to be 1mm longer or shorter.
Hell yeah, I get to choose my boob size, and I can have my hair changing colors like in Terraria!
I’m always at a comfortable temperature no matter what.
If humanity finds out about that property of you, you might end up as some kind of human battery. If you can’t be cooled down under any circumstances, one could use your body to heat up infinite amounts of water/air with heat pumps and use you to heat entire cities. Super useful for the rest of humanity but not exactly the life I’d like to live. :D
I don’t think it would be worth it, as the thermal conduction would be far too low to be useful
However, it would be a useful ability in extreme environments, such as space or Antarctica or something like that. So your chances of becoming an astronaut would massively increase.
We could also run some heat pipes through the body to improve conductivity, stretch the skin to increase the surface etc.
If the person doesn’t need to be alive to stay at a comfortable temperature we could even grind the body into a powder of tiny heat emitting particles. Then add a very fast flowing liquid with a good conductivity and our super hero heating system is good to go.
But enough psychopath talk now. I personally don’t want to turn anyone into a heating system, but I’m sure capitalism will find a way to exploit this special property. :D
Jeazus.
That is a really good one. Because you can’t stop it, but a comfortable temperature is always comfortable.
Invisibility
Hope you like a sleeping masks. cause eyelids could be a problem.
I do and have a couple
Any you would endorse? My partners mask just comes comes off all the time.
Not really an endorsement but the ones I use look more like ski goggles in their shape. I have a high nose bridge so that is the only kind I can use that doesn’t leak a lot. The one on the right in this picture is what I prefer.
I expect that the physics of true invisibility would actually make you blind, since your retinas wouldn’t be able to absorb any photons. They would have to pass through unaltered to maintain invisibility. Otherwise people would be able to see 2 “shadows” where your retinas are.
I love this and this Would be freaky as f.
