my dad specifically has really been feeding into hypermasculine, gun-loving, “true American” MAGA nonsense. I am gay and while he has no issue with me or my partner he continues to align himself with people who do not believe in my right to exist. He didn’t believe Elon did a nazi salute. He said I was listening to the liberal propaganda. Now that trump has pulled out all the stops and continues to implement project 2025, I question whether I can still be in contact with him. Even if he is not (outwardly) rooting on everything, him not condemning what is happening to me seems like he is doubling down on his beliefs.
I am drained mentally and honestly think that he will continue supporting the destruction of this country and the rights of millions all because he idealizes their “alignment” with masculinity, guns, the military, traditions, etc.
How do I approach the topic with him and tell him it’s either me or these beliefs/trump? Is that selfish of me? I know some people say that this will only further the divide but honestly I feel like things now are irreperable and I should not be involved with people who turn a blind eye to fascism.
My brother didn’t vote and in person around family, he is not a Trump supporter but he is conservative. Publicly via social media, he’s never once said a bad thing about Trump and has never hesitated to strawman shit on Dems. During the run up to the election, he made some comments about Kamala after the first debate, and it was all just horseshit takes. I typed a dozen messages and deleted them because what I was going to send would have been one of those things you don’t come back from. Instead I’ve completely cut him out of my life and I’m on active avoidance. The only saving grace for him, is that I know he didn’t vote for Trump, which means almost nothing, but he didn’t actually do the worst thing. Because of that, in 4 years, I’m going to assess the damage of this Presidency and make a choice on if I will ever even consider seeing him again or if he’s dead to me. I will never forgive him and we will never have a relationship, but there’s a chance that we might both be able to go to familial gatherings, like funerals in the future.
For me, this isn’t a very difficult decision. We’ve never really been super close since he’s quite a bit older, but we were good. I’m fully prepared to miss significant events to avoid him. I’m not sure what your relationship with your father is like, but one thing you have to consider is how it’s going to affect anything else family related, like family reunions, funerals, weddings, holidays, etc. Make sure that you think of all of the effects this may have before jumping the gun and doing something you can’t undo. You can certainly try and salvage the relationship and have a serious heart to heart where you lay it all out, and if that’s not enough, then I suppose that the decision is easier. Alternatively, if you’re ready to be done, you have the option of sending him something with a reason, telling him what’s up and bye, or ghosting him. If you ghost him, that will make any chances of rebuilding a future relationship a lot harder.
Best of luck.