Even better if you can provide your own understanding of its meaning.
Mine would be :
“Nothing kills a man as much as being forced to represent a country” (and err considering the context, I must stress it has nothing to do with the current US shitshow), by a WW1 soldier, illustrator and writer named Jacques Vaché.
For me it just means being forced into representing a group (national, of course, but maybe also social, racial, sexual, professional, any kind of group) or defining one’s identity only by reference to a group is to be avoided at all costs.
Note : Its not the same, imho, as engaging in a collective struggle or defense against a common oppression.
How about you?
Sorry you and your wife are dealing with that. Kinda reminds me of an old saw: within two years of marriage you will move to within two miles of your mother in law. Sounds like maybe that’s what your wife was after with the support structure of family. FWIW “benefits” might be subjective…what one person considers beneficial may not have the same importance to another.