Also thanks for letting me ramble. I tend to get excited when I seem to be helping in some way so I’m trying to keep it together but may go off a little.

I enjoy discourse of most kinds so the pleasure is mine as well.

And hey, if you’re nailing it 95% of the time those are excellent numbers with so much wiggle room! You can be waaaaaaay weirder with numbers like that, and it shows me that you have a strong ability to read the room and measure your response to things.

Yeah but, those 5% moments can be ruinous… I still remember one particular Halloween party. The kind of memory that keeps one up at night.

Many times its just me breaking and being clearly either grumpy (sick of people) or smell of lonely neediness. Or I’ll mentally short circuit and say something way overly blunt/irrelevant/obsessive. All can just make me legitimately unlikable and maybe deserving of the label. Its not like “fun zany autistic” moments.

So imagine a super charismatic type just suddenly breaking character after something slightly socially unexpected and outwardly presenting as a lizard person or android following that.

I get what you mean. You get so used to doing it that you basically no longer have evidence for things being ok when you don’t. I kept a note going every day for a whole year writing down stuff that happened; It was like a journal but focused on working on this stuff and I was so surprised to find how much I was expecting to write “and then it all fell apart” but finding that when it came time to write it down I just couldn’t actually come up with examples. I’m not saying you have to journal, but food for thought.

Yeah I might start doing little journals on my phone. I started using an open source note taking app, Logseq and thought maybe be one of the uses for that. I just need to create a template or something for that I think.