They’d rather complain about being single and resent women than become vulnerable enough to make a real human connection.
This generation of men should be called the V generation cause they identify as victims.
Chasing women used to be presented as the reason for art and accomplishment.
Are the kids alright? (I fear it is more than a vocal minority with jobs writing that are having issues.)
Anon is probably in the US: social media, smartphones, and 3rd wave feminism in a deeply religious, traditional, and divided society would explain their problems.
3rd wave feminism
Lol. That’s some incel shit thinking.
“My programming tells me I have to disagree. I don’t know why so I’ll throw out the term I was taught to use”
ha! incel!
You sound like those right-wingers who think communism and socialism are evil terms that should be misconstrued as insults. “Guys, I called them a liberal! Where are my internet points?”
and you sound like an incel, sorry…
“what should I say to prove it’s not a knee-jerk response? Oh, I know, double down on the knee-jerk response I had earlier!”
If you repeat it often enough, I becomes the truth in your head.
What? The fact that you use incel rhetoric because you can’t assume that you’re a loser and need to blame it on feminism?
Third wave feminism is the “kill all men” wave
It’s the ideology taken to the extreme, it’s not really condusive for living together
Bro you literally used the term ‘3rd wave feminism’. Have some self-awareness.
What are you arguing? 3rd wave feminism doesn’t exist?
You know what? You’re right! Women’s rights and freedoms are the reason I can’t get my dick wet.
Way to ignore all context and focus on the one thing triggering you. “This tree in particular, sir!”
I’ve never understood how/why so many guys on Lemmy (and reddit) are so scared of women.
I have no problems dating, and I’m poor as fuck and have a face like a foot.
After reading the responses in this thread, I think it’s all just a bunch of bullshit excuses you all are making up.
I think you all are just afraid. The lack of confidence I see on Lemmy is insane. Lol
You all have spent so much time staring at screens, you’re afraid to talk to people in real life.
Maybe instead of yelling at people on Lemmy who disagree with your politics, you should actually talk to women in real life. Lol
The men who are successful with dating are already dating or active in places where they are finding better success than clubs and arranged dating events.
The men who are unsuccessful at dating are confused and wary about women, who are no longer the compliant trad-wife wannabes that these men were lead to expect exist in numbers by the likes of “manospherian” influencers like Peterson, Tate, et al.
Men don’t want to be branded ‘creepy’ and women have constantly stated they want to be left alone. Men listened.
45% of men 18 to 25 have never asked out a woman in person
I can’t speak for the whole 45% but some of us have heard stories from women about how that other 55% can behave. I think I’d rather wait for a lady to (never) ask me out then put someone in the position of thinking “Oh, is he gonna take it bad if I say no?”
Are the non-ace okay?
reading this thread I’m glad I’m a removed in a relationship. my spouse is the best. i got so fucking lucky.
there’s a massive epidemic of loneliness out there. the loss of the free/cheap third spaces, lockdowns, and social media have made a fucking shitstorm. I’m scared for the generations below me just starting to enter the workforce. so many kids just unable to function properly.
i can’t solve it. but I’ve been putting my devices down more and (trying) to get out more. get more sunlight and fresh air, even if i just sit outside and watch the ducks. it’s hard out there. give yourself a break, okay? eat a snack and take a walk.
Tbh playing Magic the Gathering or Warhammer 40k with random dudes at a hobby store is cheaper and more fun than most traditional dates I’ve been on.
I don’t really see a good time in dating strangers, so bars and speed dating are unappealing. Same for dating apps. I’d rather have an outing with someone who I am familiar with and already jive with as a friend.
I don’t think that these stats really matter that much because I already know that I’m not represented in these stats. That’s obviously a biased view, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a incorrect for being biased.
Men are finally leaving women alone? I never thought I would see this day!
I assume years of collectively crying about it online has made something as simple and natural like dating seem like this unachievable task.
Not sure if it’s just me, but I feel like young people are less capable than ever to socialise. I thought I was a social pariah, but I don’t have shit on some people out there.
From what I’ve seen/heard, it’s not specifically the ‘crying.’ It’s a general effect from online life. Online activities are much, much easier than in person. Want to feel a connection to someone? Here’s vloggers, talking straight at you in painfully earnest tones about everything in their life. Want someone to entertain you? Here’s half a dozen companies fighting to be the one you turn to. Hungry? Forget cooking. Here’s delivery options from everywhere. Horny? Porn! It’s all a click away and you don’t even need to put on pants. If getting a need met enough to get you to tomorrow takes no effort, many people aren’t going to put in the work to get, not even a guarantee, but only a chance at something better.
There’s no third places where you can just loiter.
I think a big part of it is online dating is just how it’s done these days.
But yes, we’ve done a great job of over-complicating something as simple as human interaction.
I think so too. Online dating is just too convenient. It’s easier to arrange a date while playing video games than going into a club or other places you don’t like to begin with. I won’t lament those places dying out. Fuck them, never felt comfortable there.
But online dating should have made things easier not worse. Then again those sites aren’t free of blame too.
The problem with online dating sites is that they have the wrong incentive. They want to make money, not bring people together into lasting relationships.
I’m actually surprised no one has made an open source solution. Probably because of all of the complexity of moderating a system like that.
It would be a sausage fest
There’s one, Alovoa.
In stark contrast to pubs and nightclubs
The difference is that pubs and nightclubs are not exclusively for people who are looking to meet other people. People go there with friends, to have a good time. Not so much with online dating sites.
I’ve never understood the appeal of meeting people at bars. If you want to build a relationship with someone, why not do it with someone you already know? Ask out a coworker or classmate or something. Why approach random people in bars purely based on their appearance?
Expanding your pool of potential mates increases the chance of finding a mate.
Because it’s a social environment. You don’t go purely on appearance usually, you see someone interesting, start chatting, maybe you flirt a bit and if the vibes are right you move forward. If anything it’s far less appearance focused than the apps where it’s a picture and a bio and not interaction.
As for why not coworkers and classmates and such, it’s fine if flirtation is happening. But to a certain degree it’s shitting where you eat. People have professional and to a lesser degree academic personas that are less who they really are than their social personas.
And then there are people like me, who don’t have the biggest friend group and it’s predominantly male. And my workplace is also highly male dominated. So I don’t have any women that I know that I could ask out.
Because there is a very real sentiment called “Don’t shit where you eat.” I learned it the hard way in two different workplaces. In the first one, we broke up and it ruined the work environment. In the second, the ‘no’ was expanded to HR complaints and lawsuits, again ruining the work environment. Knowing someone has (or had) romantic interest in you can be a pain, and it can definitely blow up a working relationship.
pubs and nightclubs have limited tools for deciding who can interact with who, in comparison. No idea if that makes them work any better for matchmaking though.
Pubs make just as much money if you’re in a relationship or not. The motivation is to sell you alcohol they don’t care about your relationship status.
Fair point.
Also, I agree the profit incentive is a huge problem.
I was a complete social reject in middle and high school so I don’t even know how to people but I just assumed that was just me and my miserable circumstances apparently a lot of people have the same problem?
Same, I struggle with people. I think it’s just that our kind of people are more active online.
Maybe they’re just chronically online complaining that there’s no place for men in this world?
Well I think it’s still part of the problem if 60% of men are addicted to a thing
Maybe growing a spine and doing something of their life would help. Everyone as access to social media, not just men.
Can you point to another time in history where everyone who was doing something wrong magically self reflected and changed their ways?
Do people ask each other out or do they just hang out?
Well, there was a time when women were THE thing making men happy. In modern age, we have computers.
It’s not quite the same.
You’re right, computers are way better
My computer is always in the mood for whatever activity I wanna do. My wife is usually too busy with her computer.
Are you taking the time away from the computer to participate in her interests?
Yes?
You vs the Computer she tells you not to worry about
