Parents you can tell anything to and be heard without judgement, or a list of all your failings in life.
Parents you’re not afraid to tell that you tried for something, just in case you fail and it will be used against you for the rest of your life?
Just to clarify, I love my parents and know they love me back, but 10 minutes is literally the limit of co-existence
Parents are humans with their own flaws and backstories. They’ve had (presumably) 20 years of the worlds bullshit flung at them before you entered the picture. Can they be nice? Sure. But as you become an adult try to forgive them for the times they failed. Chances are they were doing the best they could with what they had at the time.
As a parent I try to listen with an open mind and admit when I’m probably a little biased. I still get called out and grump about it.
If there’s anything you want to share, I’m willing to listen.
Parents are humans with their own flaws and backstories. They’ve had (presumably) 20 years of the worlds bullshit flung at them before you entered the picture.
This sort of sentiment is fine to say parent to parent but parent to child it is a massive cop out.
“I had to put up with this bullshit, so you do to” is terrible parent.
It’s not acceptable for a parent to forward the world’s bullshit onto their child.
You are right parents shouldn’t say this to kids directly but I do think they can illustrate that they aren’t all powerful and depending on the maturity of the kid go into some of the realities of the world we live in.
I was also just trying to remind younger folks that their parents are human and have flaws and my be worthy of forgiveness for those flaws.
Nice yes
Listen no
My parents are dead.
Not anymore. I dunno exactly when it happened but after I left for uni I no longer see eye to eye with my folks.
They raised me and I feel they did a good job: respect others, be kind, help people, everyone is equal. All the good stuff.
Nowadays though my dad has gone hard into conspiracy theories proper tinfoil hat stuff, moon landings fake, vaccines cause autism and have microchips, fluorinated water causes something, COVID was a Chinese plot or fake or just flu (despite half his kids working in healthcare and telling him first hand experiences). He’s gone proper racist Britain for the British bullshit, hates immigrants and anyone not white. He’s dragging my mum into it as well but she’s not exactly innocent in her views either. I’m glad they live at the other end of the country now so I can choose how much I see them, holidays used to involve staying with my parents but now we camp kinda close and just have a meal out together a couple times.
I struggled a lot with coming to terms with the huge change, our relationship used to be fantastic especially with my mum, could talk for hours about anything. Now we have a very very narrow range of safe topics and I have to say no I’m not talking about that with you quite regularly.
I even debated cutting contact because of some of the horrible stuff my dad was posting online, fortunately he’s stopped that and now just consumes the hate instead of tagging me in it. I decided that I wanted to keep my parents in my life but set some firm boundaries and just don’t engage with any of the delusions.
I blame facebook for a lot of that. I see it as a symptom of that website, rather than a symptom of my parents true underlying beliefs.
Sure, everyone has some racist/conspiracy bullshit that they shamefully believe to some degree, but facebook heavily normalised it and echoed it to make them believe that it was okay to believe these things.
Oh definitely it’s terrifying how good the algorithm is at sucking people in and dumping them in an echo chamber where only those awful views are normalised.
Mine are excellent listeners. They just can’t respond anymore though.
I’m pretty close with my mum but have had a tendency to not tell her about struggles I have, not because of anything she has done but rather because of shame and not wanting to make her sad. She would listen and is very non-judgemental but I’d rather shoulder it on my own. The only caveat to that is that she is proper anti-drugs.
Dad was a dickhead and he can RIP in piss.
I used to. Once my dad died my family pretty much unraveled and they’re all reactionary morons nowadays. It was a huge shock seeing how the patriarchy truly operates in america. Like my mom and two brothers became emotionally 10 years old once he was gone. That was seven years ago and our current relationship is so foreign from my upbringing.
It’s funny you mention that. My siblings and I were pretty close growing up, even well into our late 20s. As we hit our 30s, it all kind of fractured apart. We still function, but we all also have very different independent lives now. It’s a bit different
My bros are 6 and 9 years older so I was essentially an only child. We didn’t become close till I was a young adult and started smoking weed. It was a cool 10 year run.
I have two great parents
My best friend has one, with the other one being an violent alcoholic
My SO has a brain damaged (literally) father and a hyper conspirational spiritual mother.
The more I learn about everyone else’s parents the more thankful I get
The SO’s parents, are they financially in bad times chronically?
Unclear, both have held normal jobs with normal pay but there never seemed to be money over for their children. Now the brain damaged one is living of pensions and the other one is spending all their money on online gurus and shamans.
Both of mine are dead.
My parents aare the same as your SOs. Except, my dad is super religious too. But I suspect he doesn’t even actually believe. It’s mostly an excuse to talk shit about people he don’t like.
Lol. Lmao even.
One of them doesn’t listen at all. He’s also dead so I’m willing to overlook his blatant lack of enthusiasm.
I mean that’s kinda fair enough. Gotta be a boundary somewhere right.
Blast. Someone beat me to the “one of my parents is dead” joke/not-joke.
I wish, but no. I do have someone to fill that role though.
My dad was like that, he was my safe person and would always celebrate my success, had wise advice and truly cared for my wellbeing. When I became a parent, many things from the way he taught me were passed on to my own kid. Then he died. That was ten years ago and I miss him everyday.
My mom was abusive all through me and my sibling’s upbringing, she stills is, mind you but I am very low contact/ on the brink of no contact now. As a mother myself, I have done the exact opposite of what she did to me so my kid is treated with respect, compassion, genuinecuriosity about their interests, acceptance and grace. They will not know what not being loved or unwanted feels like.
I have amazing and fairly intelligent parents I can always talk to, but their level of cognitive dissonance on some subjects is absolutely insane so I know what to avoid talking about or responding to.
This image is wholly foreign to me. My spouse’s parents are like this, it makes me feel uncomfortable and I feel bad because I’ve still got a shield up after all these years.
One good one. Supportive, listened to me, encouraged me to be me, put my needs first. I talk to them regularly and fly across the country to visit.
The other never listened, was totally phoning it in, is mow and has always been a terrible human being. I have all but cut them from my life.
