I’ll go first:

Not even sure how I managed this one, honestly, but I accidentally took out a small chunk of fingernail from my thumb on the stud of my jeans.

Once again, no fucking clue.

  • GenkiFeral@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    What must’ve been a broken blood vessel or something that caused pain and swelling near the vagina…how, you say? Sitting cross-legged on my own bony heel and sometimes to fast and too hard so that the heel bone damaged something. It hurt so sit down for a week. It healed completely within 3 weeks, but, boy, was I scared to have to go to the doctor to have it looked at or worked on.

  • Yermaw@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    I badly bruised (i still insist broke but the xray said otherwise) my foot by dropping a 20kg block of frozen chicken on it. Explained to the nurse i dropped a block of frozen chicken on it, forgetting that she didn’t have the context of the meat factory, and she gave me such a withering look of “what a pussy” and walked off before i could finish explaining.

    Was limping for about a year…

  • Nemoder@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    When I was like 7 my aunt got a new home made quilt for christmas and was proudly holding it up for everyone to see. All I could think was how fun it would be to run into that nice soft quilt. So I tried, and like the dumbest cartoon character my head bounced off it after smacking into the metal table right behind it.

    At least there was no permanent damage, or so my imaginary therapist tells me.

  • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    i sneezed and it triggered a muscle spasms on my lower back that led to me being stuck in bed for two weeks.

    it would happen again a year or so later when i reached for a glass of water and again; another year or so later; when i tripped on uneven pavement.

      • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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        2 months ago

        it started happening once i’ve reached middle age and i’ve been able to mitigate it heavily by switching to more supportive footwear and better ergonomics for work.

  • wuphysics87@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    I had a door slam on my thumb in a dark room reaching for the lightswitch. Nail came off later that month

  • FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    I was 15 or so, trying to drill a hole through the bottom of a 5.56 casing to weave onto some paracord for a necklace. Using whatever I found in the shed to try and accomplish this, I held the casing in place with a pair of vice grips as used a shitty old bit in a hand drill to try and put the hole in it. Well, instead the bit snapped, and I put what remained of the bit in the drill through my finger. Being a stubborn idiot, I dumped some hydrogen peroxide on it, applied pressure with a paper towel, then covered my whole finger in duct tape. Fortunately didn’t get infected (the bit was probably screaming hot), but I’ve got a fun scar now!

  • toynbee@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I’ve dislocated my shoulder fourteen times, mostly in an innovative way each time.

    Once, a friend invited me to play catch with a group. I came along for the socialization, but warned that if I threw anything that I would dislocate my shoulder and have to go to the hospital. He scoffed and said it wouldn’t happen. Somehow he convinced me it wouldn’t, so I threw the ball once, then immediately had to go to the hospital, as I had dislocated my shoulder.

    Another time, my dad had to take me to the hospital, as I had been laying in bed and attempted to turn over, dislocating my shoulder.

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        2 months ago

        According to an erstwhile doctor, the more times you do it, the more likely you are to do it again.

        I actually had rotator cuff surgery to try to stop it from happening, but the surgeon said it was “like trying to nail Jello to a tree.”

        Though it did happen a few times after that surgery, it’s been a long time since the shoulder dislocated, a trend I’m hoping to continue! Instead, I’m all about a broken ankle these days.

          • toynbee@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            I am not familiar with that. Like I said, my shoulder has been stable for a decent amount of time, but if it starts to become a problem again I’ll look into this.

            I’m sorry you hurt your shoulder like that, but thank you for lending me your knowledge from the experience!

  • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I went to catch a falling board with my foot, turned out to be a plow blade. I still don’t understand how it didn’t shatter the bones in my toes.

  • TribblesBestFriend@startrek.website
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    2 months ago

    I sneezed. Pulled a muscle between my ribs, it was impossible to sneeze for two months after that, each time my nose itch an adrenaline rush stop it mid sneeze.

        • Hyacin (He/Him)@lemmy.ml
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          2 months ago

          I couldn’t help the coughing and sneezing so I had to walk around with a sheet tied around me for over a week (something they STRONGLY advise against when you have pneumonia as it can [something] your [something, probably breathing?] and make it way way worse) … it was the ribs in the back though so every time I’d cough or sneeze it 1) KILLED, and 2) felt like I was going to blow my back open, lol - so I had to pull the sheet as tight as I could to basically hold those back ribs in, and then try to get the cough/sneeze through - and try not to make a horrible mess of myself as both hands were occupied, lol - and then I could release and go back to trying not to cough or sneeze …

          Imma go book a COVID booster ahead of my early July trip, right now, while I’m remembering this, rofl

  • secretspecter@board.minimally.online
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    2 months ago

    In HS I skipped the first couple stairs and reached for the hand rail and my ring finger clipped it just perfectly enough to spiral fracture. I wasn’t fully convinced it broke and continued through my day but then the doctor confirmed. It just felt like there was no way I could’ve sustained that kinda damage from something so boring but I still can’t close my fist without that finger veering into my pinky.

  • notabot@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Walked across a room and pulled a muscle in my shoulder. It was painful enough that I could barely lift it for a week or so.

  • Distractor@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    I missed the last step going down the stairs in my own home, landed flat with all my weight on one foot, and managed to break the heel bone right where all the bones come together in the middle of my foot.

  • Grimm665@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    I did a burpee and when jumping my feet back in towards my hands, they went too far and i kicked my own wrist. My toenail took a chunk of skin out of my wrist. So dumb.