• spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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    6 hours ago

    how to assassinate a…

    chemist: just keep challenging them to make more and more unstable and/or toxic compounds. if they’ve made it past FOOF gas, up the ante by saying “ok now do a 1-pot synth”

    microbiologist: accidentally a little pathogenic virulence factors into their E. coli supply and poke some holes in the laminar hood HEPA. (don’t do this if you share a bathroom with them)

    particle physicist: take a couple screws out of one of the hundreds of ladders around the facility

    theoretical physicist: remove a manhole cover in one of their usual walking paths, Looney Tunes style

    biochemist: sabotage all their grant proposals and they’ll take care of their own assassination

    computer scientist: fucking don’t they’re an endangered species now

    entomologist: literally indestructible don’t even bother trying. these motherfuckers raise botfly larvae in their own limbs for shits and giggles. i fear no man. but entomologists… they scare me

    mathematician: use a gun

    • The_v@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      Molecular biologist: repeatedly spike their samples and reagents to cause random failures. Eventually lack of sleep from running it “just one more time” will kill them.