I guess you’ll have to build a giant metal effigy in the center of your home at this point. Or become a wizard to better channel your new magical energies. It’s really your call now.
I too live in a hilariously dry climate in the winter and become a human lightning rod for several months at a time. Here’s what helped me: a quarter! I carry a quarter in my pocket all winter to touch to metal (I deeply hate getting shocked myself, especially the huge static charges). You’ll need something made of metal that is grounded, though. We have metal shelves or the aforementioned light switch screws. You can also look for screws on your washing machine, doorknob, dishwasher, sink, etc. Anything with a little metal should work. Then - touch the quarter to it, hear (but don’t feel) the zap, and enjoy your dog with no fear. Hope you can find something metallic somewhere in your home!
I am confident I can solve your pillow problem! I had the same issues, and tons of neck pain for years. Now I use a Mediflow Water Pillow. They’re not cheap - like eighty bucks - but they last forever. One side is memory foam, so you have that comfort and support. The other side is a chamber you fill up with water. Hear me out - you can add as much or as little as you want, so you can make it entirely specific and exact to how you like to sleep. Side, back, both, you can add or take water out until it’s perfect! After a few nights of fussing with the water amount, I’ve not had to touch it for years. Seriously, this is the pillow!
Make sure to follow directions for sealing it, too, and then you won’t hear or have any sloshing sensations when you lay on the foam side. It also doesn’t get super hot at night because the water absorbs a lot of heat. I’ve never had it leak or be problematic at all. My only issue ever is how heavy the pillow is! Water weighs a lot, who would have thought. But that also means the pillow doesn’t wander around the bed at night, in case that was ever an issue.
I hope you try it out! Or find another perfect pillow for your needs. :)