I prefer wholly water.

Prison slavery is actually now unconstitutional in the state, as of TN’s last election.

Wow, the price of a soul went up 63%.

It’s technically not newsworthy, due to how commonly the “R” accompanies elected criminals.

I don’t know what you mean by “ethical”, but I use Sendgrid. They have a free tier that can send up to 100 emails a day.

Certain subtitle formats cannot be directly streamed, so your server is probably re-encoding video on the fly to burn in the subtitles. PGS format is actually a series of images and will always require re-encoding video. Picking SRT should work with device direct streaming.

I read this in a Wisconsin accent. Specifically Charlie Berens’ voice.

Sounds like maybe she did.

They at least let him keep his prize, though.

Uncommon

Holy ADHD, Batman! I sincerely hope you make it all the way to the voting booth and finish submitting a ballot without getting sidetracked in a flea market or something on election day! 😂

I like the physical contest idea, though. It’ll keep candidates younger and campaigns much more interesting.

Intimation Crab is giving you subtle claw gestures.

Conspiracy theory: Barbra Streisand is actually plotting her own kidnapping, not to sway the election, but to detach her name from the “Barbra Streisand Effect” and send googlers to articles about her plight. Prediction: everybody figures out the truth and it only makes her situation worse, reinforcing her connection to the eponymous effect.

Or no longer innocent.

It means that there’s an expected setup, then a twist. Trump’ sons engaged in bribery? Check. It’s easy to believe. The subversion happens when we get to the method of payment. We expected unmarked bills or a fraudulent wire transfer, but we got children’s snacks, which reframes the whole situation as if they’re two kids in a trenchcoat.

If you remember Rudy Giuliani giving a speech at a landscaping company parking lot, you may remember hilarious news titles referencing the Four Seasons. They were particularly Onion-y, because we expected Rudy Giuliani to spew lies at a press conference, which often happens in hotel conference centers. The Four Seasons hotel would be a reasonable place for the whole thing to go down. He probably announced the location, then found out he couldn’t book the hall. Making lies about the election in the Four Seasons Landscaping parking lot across from a sex toy store? Hilarious. It sounds like comedy, but it’s reality.

Expectation: “Biden funds Israeli war efforts” The subversion is that the Onion title reads between the lines, ignoring normal journalistic nothing-speak to say the quiet part out loud. These each hint at a bit of actual truth, but rather than simply being outlandish (which is our current baseline), these Onion titles all add something to name it now ridiculous. A bribe in child snacks? The bribe is what’s expected. The snacks are the unexpected, making the whole thing funny.

Biden doesn’t generally say the quiet part out loud, so that’s the joke. The specificity of the Florida law is what’s funny, not the fact that they make backwards, misogynist laws. The briefcase is also too on the nose. We know they bribe people, but that headline is slapstick comedy.

It’s a fine line, admittedly, but those headlines do read like jokes to me.

A lot of these should be onion-y, but are not because the bar is so low. Trump being hypocritical? That’s to be expected. It can’t be onion-y because it doesn’t subvert expectations in any way.

Listen to Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi while singing this song. You’re welcome.