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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • Nearly every day at work or in school, or within my friend group, someone tells me I’m valued and make the world a better place. I am doing research on something important to me, getting a degree in environmental science, just did a production as stage manager and got to sew costumes to make my trans friends feel amazing on stage, and I still get home and think about blowing my brains out most days. Last winter I hospitalized myself again hoping to break the cycle of misery, and that didn’t work. I’m one of the lucky suicidal people who can leave the house and interact with other humans (some of those love me, and I love back), but even that isn’t a cure. Nothing has made life worth living, and after all these years I still don’t know what would.


  • John Deere and a few others recently paid like 20m to build a diesel tech training center for my university that includes several large vehicle bays and a fuel development lab, with the expectation the students would work for their companies after graduation. It’s starting to look like these kids will be opening their own businesses and ending the cycle of ripping off farmers in the community.

    As a former mechanic with lots of lovely health issues before even hitting 40, I really hope they do work for themselves so they can get out of the grunt work when they are my age and still earn from their experience








  • I feel like ssdi or ssi are only “okay” if you live with family. I’m a single adult with no relatives, and the 1k/month(ish) I get isnt even enough to cover renting an apartment where I live. Even if I lived with family for free, that 1k/month wouldn’t be enough to pay for the things I need that are directly associated with my disabilities (doctor visits, travel, assistive devices, a maid or property manager, my service dog and her needs, etc.).

    There was a study recently that showed support for assisted dying is higher among poor populations. No shit, we can’t afford to live, and we can’t afford to die from our issues either lol



  • I’m not in retail anymore, and I never did clothing retail, but working in theater costuming has really changed my ideas. Like, I know I am fat because at my height and weight my bmi puts me well in obese territory. But measuring people a few inches taller has put an interesting spin in my head. I know someone with the same bust size who is three inches taller and now I understand why some “large” sizes will fit both of us even though by size my cup is several sizes larger than her.

    People have been telling me for years that I’m “not fat”. I know they are delusional because of the numbers, but seeing other people with similar measurements does actually put it into perspective.