Think of other topics and questions than work, Americans care too much about work outside of work.

Switch your phone apps to celsius and start your brain switching ASAP.

Knowing what country or region you’re going to would help

I once worked in a division of ~3500 employees, every year the division produced two profit forecasts one called “pessimistic” and another called “optimistic”. My first year the division made $335 million MORE than the optimistic forecast so the division CEO approved every employee a $335 bonus.

The next year it happened again but only $285 million, so $285 bonuses that year.

Both times I scoffed and quietly pointed out to the delighted Boomers I trusted that it was less than one third of a percent of the total money.

The next year apparently the corporate office found out, fired said CEO and quashed the bonuses forever. Apparently the distribution of the crumbs was more than they could handle.

When I last visited Argentina Uber was using the official exchange rates which were just fantasy numbers. As soon as you match with a driver they’d message you and you’d negotiate the cash price. Then the ride in the app would be cancelled.

Uber didn’t mind because they were still getting the ~$1 or so cancel fee for basically being a messaging app.

In my junior high they had a mysterious urinal pooper. They spent months trying to catch the culprit. They even resorted to a $25 reward and a little campaign in the morning announcements. Then it turned out to be a handicap student who couldn’t bend his knees. The posters and campaign quietly disappeared without a word.

Boeing™ is committed to innovative solutions to problems like opening a cabin door mid flight

I have a friend who can smell cockroaches no joke. We always take her restaurant suggestions very seriously.

And underwear, airplanes, driveways…

Just like his income and assests, when filling out bank loan applications they are huge. When paying taxes they don’t exist!

I’m doing my part!

https://archive.ph/yateC

The Portuguese word for turkey 🦃 is Peru

It’s now being reported he died

A story from back when I worked in HR. Finance handed HR a list of teams to reduce. HR saw who had lowest performance metrics or was most recently hired and earmrked them to be fired. Then HR emailed the managers and said, ‘we want you to follow around Angela and Brian today, the first mistake they make, write it up and terminate them’. The company had laid off too many people and several states it operated in warned the company they would seek payment if too many more ex-employees filed for unemployment insurance.

Most employees skewed right politically and wouldn’t dream of fighting the company for their rightfully due unemployment benefits since they legitimately thought it was their fault, and many thought UI was socialism anyway.

After witnessing this I immediately began switching careers.

Remember folks, HR is not your friend, HR exists to protect the company from employee related lawsuits.