That’s just Windows updating.

They’ve rebranded. It’s N.ICE now.

The HOA is correct in doing so. The man clearly planned to give out poisoned water and they couldn’t allow him to do that. After all, they thought of it first.

Use a mirror. Same as learning to write with both hands, it gets easier over time.

Not a new low, it’s an old low applied in new ways.

Knitting. It’s part witchcraft, part voodoo.

The eyes are a dead zone for me in general. I will stare at anything else, just don’t make me look into your eyes. Souls ain’t that pleasant to see.

Also the free cupholder era.

Mimics are real!

Yup, grow 'em by the crankshaft.

Why wouldn’t one have a giant roll of paper at home? It’s a basic necessity.

Simple. They get a president to fund and expand their operations.

There’s rolls of paper that allow one to cut the size they need. It’s an ingenious invention, I know.

Why not?

With a hose.

Well if you think about it, inebriation often is about things sobriety would never consent to.

Only when properly drunk.

Replace the 'O’s with 'U’s and the story changes considerably.

Me, seeing the raised hair on the arm: “Oh, this must be about calculating the odds of being struck by lightning.”

Reading the comments about tan lines: “Oh…”

Laziness is the way of nature. However, we are rebels, diligently working against our nature.

Arise! Allow no master to control your fate and grasp the means of production!