the_itsb (she/her)

Mr T knows his balls.

That caption is 🤌

My kid is in high school, and they communicate about emergencies through text, email, and automated calls. There are lots of jobs, especially low-paying ones, that will not let you check your phone during your shift, and they’re certainly not going to be okay with you leaving early to go pick up your kid. If the choice is “leave to pick up kid (who you know is safe with teachers), get fired,” versus “leave kid (who you know is safe with teachers), keep job,” it’s pretty simple math.

“ran out of medication” me sneaks up on “functional and medicated” me

I’m a simple lady; I recognize the vague outlines of a joke, so I upvote.

You had me in the first half; I really thought we were going to come together in agreement that we need to nourish this gorgeous, life-giving entity with delicious billionaires.

Clean towel, foil potato, can’t lose?

In the US, in the weeks leading up to the new school year starting late August/early September, many retailers will offer discounts on school supplies - paper, pencils and pens, backpacks, etc - to attract customers. Many clothing retailers market it to students as a great time for a wardrobe refresh or to reinvent your look entirely and offer discounts. Same deal with electronics, especially since higher math courses tend to have required calculators. Some states - including Ohio, where I live - offer a sales tax holiday on a weekend during this season to help with the expense involved.

It’s wicked expensive with just one kid, I can’t imagine having several.

the_itsb = the Ill-Tempered Sea Bass, and though it’s a batfish and not a sea bass, I’ve always thought this guy conveys the ill-tempered part beautifully.

Who I actually am as a person is a little more like some kind of crab. There’s the strawberry crab, who is “small, brightly-colored … known to be quite toxic,” which sounds just like me without medication. 😂 And then there’s the black-eyed hermit crab, who “often inhabits shells left by massive moon snails … often covered with colorful pink anemone-like hydroids, making this critter even cuter.”

I think the physical and psychological distress that tend to result from Vogon poetry would be problematic for the celebrational mood I’m hoping to achieve, but there will definitely be gorgeous sandwiches crafted by the loving hands of an artisan of intergalactic renown.

I’ve never seen a recipe for Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters that appealed to me, but I’m hoping to get that sorted as well.

They also only got the Supreme Court to agree to their extremely sketchy August date for the election along party lines.

Really rich, lovely quote from the article linked:

In fact, the Ohio Legislature explicitly banned August elections (except in very limited circumstances) in its omnibus election law that was enacted earlier this year. Ironically, the Legislature did so at the behest of LaRose who stated that “August special elections generate chronically low turnout because voters aren’t expecting an election to occur. This is bad news for the civic health of our state.”

It’s fucking gross. My husband and I went in person to the Board of Elections to vote early, and we were heartened to see the steady trickle of people coming in mid-morning on a weekday.

That fortune! Oof, ouch, my self-esteem!

The original Rice Krispies Treats cereal was the best. The current is a pale imitation and lacks the depth of flavor the original had - it wasn’t overly sweet, and it had a perfect balance of vanilla and puffed rice flavor that is hard to explain.

I’m turning 42 next summer and have been thinking about hosting a Towel Party; this image is going to be very helpful.

How will anyone know I exist if they can’t hear (or read) my bitching?!?

conservative apologist

Isn’t he just a conservative? I know he likes to pretend that Trump gave him serious distaste for some of the more extreme parts of modern conservatism, but - considering the blood on Frum’s hands - I’m not buying it. Am I getting him confused with a different Bush speech writer or perhaps a different Iraq war cheerleader?

Those ears! 😍 I wonder what it’s like to be able to hear mouse farts and bird burps?

There’s something tricksy about their faces, like maybe they’re the kinda guys who might try to hide extra rows of razor-sharp teeth behind the cute front ones. Big chaotic neutral energy!

They remind me of Flareon! 😍

gently slaps side

“This baby can hold so many trips to the underworld!”

They’re called a kissing bug because they tend to target the lips and face, as they’re active at night and that’s typically what’s exposed when people are sleeping.

This is the second-worst news you could have given me on this subject, the first-worst being “and they’re in your pillows right now.”

I hoped to get some “fuck yeah, let’s never learn about those bastards TOGETHER!” in response but feared I would get informative replies like yours. I pine for my ignorance.

They live in most of the US

THIS IS PRECISELY WHAT I DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW 😂

dammit