/nottheonion
i really thought it was
my favorite feature is that it’s a smart device—you connect it with your phone via proprietary app and it tells you the temperature of your counter top. Also for a low monthly subscription fee it will also recite the screen play of a random episode of friends in 4 languages simultaneously, none of which are English, Spanish, Arabic, or Mandarin.
Please tell me it scrobbles…
Personally, I’m a fan of the rumble notification feature. Pair it with your phone and it’ll rumble in response to a random notification on your phone at least once a day. Best part is: it kinda shakes the whole house and will sometimes shuffle itself into the floor so you can’t ignore it! Yeah, I’ve had to replace some tile, but it’s totally worth it.
Being able to report the temperature is way too useful for a useless steel block. I’d pay $10/month for a block that truly does nothing.
Man I really hope that app requires an active internet connection and a registered account. And it would be real nice if the app wasn’t optimized at all and support would end after 3 updates.
‘Bro, my steel cube is now just a useless brick’
If you dont pay the subsciption it immediately gets rusty
Look, just because Elon Musk can’t choose an alloy properly doesn’t mean nobody can do it. Hell, even DeLorean managed it, and he was dealing with both cocaine and the Troubles at the same time!
Obviously the languages are Estonian, Finnish, Latvian and Lithuanian.
Except for the Finnish + Baltic region, where the languages are actually Tagalog, Swahili, Navajo and the most popular option, x86 assembly for outputting the text of the episode in Haitian Creole. The latter is the most popular because of how insanely fast they have to speak.
Oh, I know this one, Estonia is that country next to Italy, right?
I just know that their military has the best MREs.
Love the proprietary app! I spent several months cobbling together a bunch of Docker containers that each apply a bundle of hacks I built through reverse engineering! Now I can control it via Home Assistant but I hope some guy that built one of the Docker images doesn’t disappear in six months when the manufacturer completely wrecks all our work with an API update!
You could try the redneck thing. That’s where you gut all the circuitry, make it so there’s exposed wires everywhere and every time you want to use it, touch whichever wires together. If you get it wrong it catches on fire but at least there’s no longer a username and password.
I love the live location feature, so that I never lose track of my kitchen cube. You can see where it is and how it’s doing even from remote. Always have an eye on my cube when at work.
Paninis will never be the same
Ah, but have you considered buying three?
I keep my kitchenaid on a rolling cart so it can be put out of the way when not needed. Makes for a much neater countertop
Modern appliances just aren’t as good. Check with Goodwill, or yard/estate sales. You can pick up a vintage kitchen cube that works just as well for pennies on the dollar, and it will outlast you.
I still have my great grandma’s cast iron kitchen cube that she brought over from the old country.
I can’t even describe what that thing can do with pork chops.
I prefer carbon steel cubes myself but cast iron is nice too.
Because you are not accounting for inflation. A modern kitchen cube made in the same quality as a vintage cube would cost one cubic meter of pennies.
IKEA version takes up same amount o counterf space, but the core is made of cardboard, so lightweight!
does it come in red?
No, only slate and graphite
10/10 for functionality, it does exactly what it’s supposed to, and it does it well.
Highly recommended.This is why too convenient. You can still place stuff on top of it
Look at me the millionaire with tons of space between the countertop and cabinets
I literally have uses for this, though. It’s worth the space it will take up.
I got the Bodum bistro cube but the soft touch finish turned sticky after 3 years.
Apple industrial designers would totally buy it
Elon would manufacture it.
And it would rust, fall apart, and explode.
And it’d require you to solve 20 captchas in order to use it.
Source: me, I tried to create a Twitter account.
Well, there’s your problem.
Honest question: why would you even try to do that nowadays?
I wanted to check out accounts of some journalists and organizations I used to follow, and that is a bit pain in the ass with restrictions that Twitter imposes for guests. But of course I didn’t solve 20 captchas just for that. I probably got this treatment because my browser was LibreWolf. It triggers extra anti-bot protections on some websites.
deleted by creator
Maybe? Honestly, I didn’t want to be there that much to think about workarounds. I still find this crazy.
I tried to make a microsoft account on goddamn google chrome on android and got this treatment.
So would my wife if they came in colors.
Assuming that the 80-pound (36.3 kg) stainless steel block is a solid cube, its side length would only be 16.6 cm (6.5 inches). (The density of the most common stainless steel (304) is 7930 kg/m^3.) Not nearly as big as the picture suggests. Still, it seems like it would be an awesome addition to my kitchen.
It’s just not solid metal. These things are overpriced pieces of shit. I know because I used to have one. Anytime there’s a “chip shortage” these things are always marked up to be 2x as expensive too.
I think in this day and age the best way to waste counter space is to use newspaper and dirty dishes like our great grandparents used to do.
Considering the downward trend of quality in home appliances, it makes even more sense that it’s not even solid metal.
Nor stainless just a thin film
Well it does make more sense for it to be filled with something else, but then I wouldn’t want to buy it. One can dream…
Maybe it’s filled with the same stuff as Happy Fun Ball?
That ball seems dangerous af
It’s a polymer shell filled with sand and stainless steel cover on 5 sides.
Didn’t say that it’s solid
Will buy it if it’s made of galvanized square steel
Can we see the accessory list ?
