At risk of repeating an answer to a similar question some weeks or months ago:

My wife and I met on a porn site. We caught feelings and met IRL and it was actually pretty great.

Well, it was not exactly porn but more a popular “adult fanfiction” (almost the same thing) site where we went from cooperative creative writing to something much more intimate. I flew out to meet her and now we’ve been married for about a decade.

I still say we met because of porn. My first message to her contained a detailed, descriptive, as unceremonious as it was unambiguous list of preferences but it seems to be working out so far.

Man…

Ok, so I was 12 years old and had only just moved from England to Australia. First few days of high school I noticed this girl. Normal looking girl - beautiful eyes, but one of those beautiful people that tends to be quiet and go by unnoticed… But I noticed her.

I was always very outgoing and loud, and she was more quiet and reserved. I loved to do card tricks. I also became incredibly shy when I wanted to talk to her, so I devised a plan

I laid some playing cards on the corner of my desk and waited for her to walk past. When she did, I knocked them off and we started a conversation…

Eventually I did a card trick and knew she’d picked the 3 of Diamonds. That card has held significance for us this whole time…

Through high school we both had feelings for eachother - me, being confident, silly and outgoing declaring my love for her to everyone and asking her out on a few occasions, never looking at the other girls who wanted to spend more time with the English boy who now lives in Australia. I only had eyes for her. I just knew she was the one.

But for 4 and a half years of high school it never happened. She was too shy to say yes, and I was too shy to ask properly. Sure, I’d slipped her notes and I’d asked on a few occasions, but it never happened. She did say yes once and we “dated” for 2 weeks but nothing happened, not a kiss, nothing. We were both young and inexperienced in relationships and after 2 weeks she said “you’re dumped”… It hurt.

But for that whole high school time everyone in school knew we wanted eachother.

Then came secondary school (High school in Aus is year 7-10 when you’re like, 12-16ish in age, secondary is Year 11 and 12 when you’re about 16-18ish)

In secondary school I met my then best friend… He was a great bloke and we got along like a house on fire. A couple of months into Year 11 he asked if he could ask the girl I loved out… I told him “Why not, she doesn’t want me anyway” so he did.

They got together and we stayed friends. I was heartbroken but I wanted the best for her and he seemed like a good bloke, and I didn’t want to ruin what they had by being upset or jealous, and I didn’t want to lose my friendship with either of them, so I kept my feelings hidden and eventually went on to date other girls. By this time she and I were about 16…

The following few years we all hung out with our friends group and they stayed together… I was the best man at their wedding and one of the first to meet their newborn son when he arrived…

But then slowly we drifted… Id message him and get no replies, or short and careless ones. I’d long since stopped messaging her as usually messaging him was realistically intended for the both of them anyway…

And so 4 years went by without any contact from either of them…

Then I had a son. I wasn’t in a good place or a good relationship at the time. Don’t get me wrong, my then partner was fine. She is a good person but we just didn’t fit and I feel I was with her out of lonliness more than love.

Anyhow, I got a message from the girl I loved through high school congratulating me on my son. I replied and asked how she was, told her I missed them and proposed a catch up with us all. I got no reply.

Another year passed and I left my then partner. 4 months-ish later, my high school crush had her then husband removed from the house for domestic violence. I found out through a chance encounter with her sister.

We made arrangements for me to go visit, and so I did.

I stepped into her house where her family was helping tidy the place and saw her down the long hall at a distance and so many of those feelings came flooding back.

I walked up and gave her the biggest hug. It felt like I held her forever… Then I got to work on helping tidy the house… Then I met her daughter for the first time. At this point she’d had 2 kids with her then husband. One was 3, the other, 5.

Through the next couple of weeks I spent a lot of time catching up with her and trying to offer my help where I could. I learned a lot more about my old “friend” and just how controlling, coercive, manipulative and abusive he was for the 17 years they were together. 17 long years that feel as if they were robbed from “us”… But we were so young…

At one point we kissed. And that was it. Finally, after knowing her for 21-22 years and loving her for so long, we finally kissed.

It just was right. There was so much going on, court dates to maintain an intervention order against her ex husband, him lying about anything and everything. His manipulation of the court system and even his own children continues to this day… But finally we had eachother and we weren’t about to let go.

I’d had a vasectomy after my son was born… But after a year of being with her I got it reversed. We now have a beautiful daughter together. We got married, too. Life together is what we should have always had. We both feel it.

Its tremendously difficult being the stepdad of 2 kids that are being conditioned and coerced into hating you 5 nights a fortnight, but they’re good kids. I’m trying my best for them

I feel I have a lot to unpack and work through but with 4 kids and working in disability support its next to impossible to afford any kind of therapy, let alone the free time to attend…

But I love her. So much. And she loves me. I have a tattoo on my side - a silhouette of the 2 of us on our wedding day, surrounded by the clubs, diamonds, hearts and spades suits to symbolise how we met. There are 3 diamonds.

Through the abuse she endured theres a lot for us both to work through but again, we’re so lucky to finally have eachother. We’re 35 now and spent half our lives apart, despite at one point wanting to be with eachother for 1/3 of our lives to that point… We’re not letting eachother go now. I couldn’t imagine life without her. She is everything to me. I just feel so sorry for our past selves. They deserved so much better.

I have to keep reminding myself that had we gotten together back then it might not have worked out how it has. We may have grown apart, or not had anything to compare to in order to see how good we really have it…

I love her. Always.

I’ve never written that all down before. There’s plenty more to it, but I felt compelled to really delve into it that time. Thank you so much for asking the question.

I was joining the crew of a ship that I had worked on before. When I met the mate in the tender to bring me aboard I requested to be moved into a specific cabin (to avoid being put in the one that shares a bulkhead with the engine room water tight door which is clanged loudly every half hour for safety checks). That cabin was already occupied by my future wife.

Said something sarcastic (about expecting no reanimation if she fell off a table) as I met her by coincidence and she bit back harsh and quite colorful.

Stumbled upon each other 6 month later and I recognized her. I shouted a greeting from afar - she thought it was another sarcastic remark, because she didn’t hear it all and answered accordingly - I couldn’t hear her clearly as well and took it as a greeting. Then we had a short talk which was very interesting and nice.

And that’s that. Five years later, she still hasn’t strangled me in my sleep. Perhaps it’s the long game. Awsome person.

She was dating my ex girlfriend. They split. My ex recommended she ask me out because she thought we might be a good fit. It’s been 14 years.

Having a previous significant partner that I split with on good terms has always been a great strategy for getting a new partner.

Do you remember 9gag? Some of you certainly do. Anyway, during those times they created another app called 9chat, later renamed it to Cookie, and later renamed it back to 9chat again.

Well, we met there, on 9chat/Cookie.

There weren’t an insanely huge amount of people there, and there was a section for newcomers to upload their selfie and/or introduce themselves. And I found this gorgeous girl there, started to text her, and to my surprise, she actually replied and didn’t even ghost me.

We had a nice conversation there, and we continued on WhatsApp, and three months later we met in real life too. This was 7 years ago, and sadly we’re still in LDR, but the most important thing is, we have each other.

Despite my best efforts, they found me…

I haven’t

We were in the same friend group in high school. We each dated others in the group but never had any interest in each other. I was living with one of his friends in college - still no interest at all. At a party one night we were talking and kissed me. It’s the kiss that changed my life. Married 30 years and I’m thankful every day.

fen style fantasy/scifi convention.

A buddy wanted to play board games and there was a shop not far from where I lived with a lot of them, including some in English (I live in Japan, Tokyo at the time). We played games and I wanted to introduce him to my favorite bar. The place next to it was also somewhere I went often and had two open seats. We sat down and started talking with some others I didn’t know and some regulars. Well, I hit it off with one of those people I didn’t know and we’ve now been married almost 3 years. I wasn’t actually looking for anything at the time, having more-or-less given up on the whole dating thing after a couple of relationships (mostly looking on LTR/marriage-focused apps here). So, basically, very lucky.

Nightclub dance floor during freshers week… has been 13 years and we’re married now lol

We were in the same circle of friends freshman year of high school and it didn’t take long for us to start dating. He moved across the state sophomore year, so we were long distance for a couple years, but he came back for university. We moved in together after graduating, married around four years later, and he’s still putting up with me after twenty 😊

I’ve been happily married for six years, and we met on a dating app. (OKCupid.)

It was my first time using such a thing, I was in my late 30s and mildly curious about those apps the Kids These Days seem to like. I installed one and was basically daring the silly thing to work. I figured if I was going to try that sort of thing, I was going to do it in a very practical way. I made sure everything about me I thought might be a red flag for someone out there was featured prominently in my profile:

• Here’s exactly where I am politically, religiously, etc., my real age, and my firm disinterest in parenthood.
• Here’s my bisexuality but also my monogamousness, yes those two things can go together.
• Here’s the neighborhood I live in (not the nearest fashionable one.)
• Here are a bunch of weird hobbies and pursuits of mine.
• Here are social and political things about which I’m a vocal activist.
• Here’s some of the art, comedy, and other creative stuff I do, and a bit of the weirder end of my sense of humor.
• Here’s the fact that my username there was also the one I’ve used everywhere online for decades (here included) and I’ve had a pretty active online presence since there’s been such a thing, so I’m fairly searchable before you even say hello.
• Here are photos of me I quite like but also some I think I look particularly fat/old/unflattered in, and ones that clearly show off certain things I like to do with my personal style (for example, I’m a cis masculine-presenting guy who wears nail polish.)

In addition to filling the hell out of my profile with all this, I had a lot of fun with the app’s survey questions and generally gave really involved answers.

My attitude on the app was one of blatant honesty. I’d heard so many horror stories about people meeting on dating apps and the person turning out to be nothing like their profile, look nothing like their photo, etc. to the point of false advertising, and I really failed to understand the logic behind that; why lie to someone from the start, as if they won’t actually realize you lied to them when they meet you?

Another important factor for me was that when I got on the app I was just getting back into dating, having recently taken a long time to work on myself and recover from a toxic and abusive relationship. Among other crappy things, my former abuser had spent the duration of our time together disapproving of and trying to force me to change fundamental things about myself in ways that caused me a lot of long-term harm and I was not interested in going through that sort of thing again. I’d rather someone who doesn’t like thing X about me would see that thing on my profile right up front and so choose not engage with me to begin with, rather than have them get interested but find out that deal-breaker thing about me later and be disappointed. I came at it from the angle of saying “hey, I’m here, this is what I’m like, and here’s a bunch of stuff about me you might not like.” I wasn’t necessarily trying to warn people off, but I wanted to see if anyone out there would see all those things about me and still potentially like me.

Long story long, it worked. I got messaged by someone who saw my profile and liked it, I liked hers, and we really clicked from the start. (Our first date was meant to be a quick cup of tea at a cafe, and ended up being many hours of walking and talking around town.) We totally fell for one another, dated, moved in together, got married, and six years later are still ridiculously happy. She is literally my favorite person in the entire world. Her weird and my weird mesh together so perfectly, and our relationship has always been based on complete honesty and open communication and sharing. We’ve seen and supported each other through the highest highs, lowest lows, and everything in between. It’s the healthiest, happiest, and closest romance, friendship, and personal relationship of any kind I’ve ever had, and every day we spend together is better than the last. Among a lot of people who know us we’re that obnoxiously-cute couple. We even have podcasts and other creative projects together nowadays, it’s so goddamn gross. 🥰

Only person that spoke English at an industry event.