Please don’t ask why I need this.
The food has to be something I can easily find.
EDIT: Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.
EDIT 2: I lost. You guys purposefully made me poop I’m never doing this shit again
Jack Link’s beef stick & cheese, sasquatch size. You’re going to need at least 6 per day to get over 1600 calories but it’s going to be nearly 3x recommended sodium for the day so be sure to drink lots of water.
If you manage to poop at any time during those three days you deserve a medal.
thanks man
You risk Kidney stones with that Sodium. I don’t know what toilet horrors you and your butthole face that have driven you to this point, but heed my warning, kidney stones really fucking hurt.
Wait, the title says “while” pooping? OK, don’t eat meat and cheese.
I misread it earlier as “without”
Title is different outside and inside post. Not sure what sorcery this is but it’s funny.
Shenanigans!
It all comes full circle. Like a toilet bowl. My first day on Lemmy was the don’t ask why, but I need to not shit for 3 days post. And here we are. So much culture in only a year.
There is a pattern forming. It may take a couple of years to get more data, but we can figure this out.
We now have an activity that happens once a year where people need to eat and shit as much as possible.
Ok, see ya next year.
Clean yourself out with a laxative. Like a colonoscopy prep. Safely. Then eat only high protein, low residue foods. Look them up. Should be as close to good as possible. No poop already in process, slow moving food after. Won’t be comfortable, but you should make it.
Gas station roller grill taquitos, a 5lb bag of Haribo sugar-free gummy bears, and a case of bottled water.
Start with the taquitos, then eat the gummy bears a handful at a time. You’ll know when to switch to water.
Dried prunes, apples and pears have, I believe, the highest poop to volume ratio of any food.
Yellow dragonfruit, refried beans/hummus
Haribo sugarless gummy bears have a strong laxative effect. I’d say that’s a pretty strong contender
If you want volume, go for as much veggies as you can. Try 4 large potatoes and a lb of black beans per day.
Training for No Poop November I see. I bet I’ll make it the entire month next time.
Prunes. Nothing but prunes.
fruit smoothie, first thing in the morning. buckle up …
Rice and beans.
How easy would it be for you to find (natural) laxatives? ChatGPT names Prunes and Kiwis, Broccoli, Almonds and Walnuts, Yogurt (the white non-sweet kind would be best)
Basically the above is just a who’s who of healthy dieting if you ask me lol. If you need high caloric density for the “eating as much as possible” part just go for anything high in fat and or sugar. Nutella would check both boxes but this is really not recommendable from a health perspective obviously.
Competitive eaters like Beard Meats Food would just chug on double cream if they wanted to get as many calories down as possible. The only “problem” there is that it doesn’t make for a very entertaining video.
Yay! Poop challenges are back again!
The good ol’ times…
This is an epically old callback, by Lemmy standards.
Is your username a good place reference?
Yup.
First time I’ve had a flashback here. A little surreal
Whatever you do don’t eat large bags of Almonds. I don’t think you’d survive the pain on day 3. If you have some way to anesthetize your anus - then I would suggest that.
