It’s been a long ol time since I’ve known any lesbians well enough to ask such things, but I followed my brain down a weird line of inquiry, and got to wondering about the current state of the art for the gay gals. I guess I had always assumed it was similar to the dynamics of a gay guy relationship, but then I realized that since men have both an input and an output, they can choose, but it’s mechanically a bit different for cis women. Is there any relationship between that, and the slightly more masculine versus feminine flavors? Asking for a friend, who is me. I want to know. Thanks.
I’ve seen people (lesbians) talk about it, so I’m leaning toward “yes they can but not always”, but I cannot give an authoritative answer as I am not a lesbian.
I don’t think you can give a authoritative answer unless you personally are ‘all’ of the lesbians.
A lesbian couple on Twitch got asked who the top and who the bottom was. They said they switched.
No idea what that means mechanically.
Probably like a Nintendo Switch
Is that the one where you slide the joycons in and out trying to get the console to recognize and assign the joycons?
And there’s an affable Miyamoto head smiling down on them like mufasa
No, at that time they didn’t have a Nintendo Switch yet. A PS5 for Baldur’s Gate 3 was their first console.
You might want to differentiate between Top, Bottom, Switch and Top, Bottom, Versatile, i.e. BDSM vs penetration positions.
I’d also say that this is less about physiology and more about the individual acceptance of the concept of position.
Top, Bottom, Versatile is not necessarily a queer thing, since (cis&trans) heterosex can have positions as well. That is to say, not all queer relationships regardless of gender follow the concept of position.
It’s not just a position thing. It’s just that everyone exists either left or right of the center on the spectrum of ‘mostly giver vs mostly receiver/passive’ spectrum. The gay male community has taken to the terms of Top and Bottom to articulate ones usual preferences, and I was just curious if lesbians had come up with a similar canvas, or if it just doesn’t come up as much with them as it does for guys.
I suppose this question better than the previous generation’s “So which one of you is the man?”
In addition to the cis lesbian explanations below, don’t forget about our trans lesbian friends.
How could I possibly.
C’mon OP, every sort of human sexual interaction has dynamics like this. Top or bottom, submissive or dominant, switching it up, all that, we humans do it.
You sound like an alien on its first trip to earth trying to “blend in”
“Is it for fun? What isbenefit?”
the top is the one who has to go get the electrolyte water from the fridge when you’re both out of breath
i think it’s more of a face/heel dynamic
Scissor-me-timbers
Plunder the Booty
Yes, but less so than with gay men. A lot of lesbians won’t identify as either, since penetrative sex is not super common with lesbians, but there are also some lesbians with a strong preference to either penetrate or be penetrated and not the other way round.
I don’t think there’s any group that doesn’t have some members who like domination. But I’m just speculating and am not an expert.
Well I, on the other hand, AM an Expert Dominator.
I’m very much a lesbian and can confirm we are flatlanders. I get left and right, front and back, but top and bottom? Completely foreign concepts.
Seriously though. It seems to me very popular among young lesbians to talk about tops and bottoms, but I’m a bit older (around 40) and that was never really a thing for me or the people around me.
Fascinating. Are you able to rotate axially parallel to your allowed dimensions of travel, or does this require some degree of bi-curiosity to accomplish?
I can no more do this than you can freely move through a fourth spatial dimension
I read this in Mr. Spock’s voice.
This is awesome! I am adding in bridge sci-fi noises. Data also works.
That seems logical and stuff.
Me and my gal do have a top/bottom dynamic but it’s not very strong, like it’s just flirting and foreplay.
There is no top or bottom when we do anything physically sexual, we just do it together and that’s great :)
Hi! Not strictly a lesbian here but in a lesbian relationship. Yes, lesbians have top/bottom dynamics typically in the “one doing the action” vs the “one being acted upon” across various different acts. Most switch it up (“vers”), rather than identifying primarily as tops or bottoms. If you are strictly a top or strictly a bottom, you’re described as “stone” as in “stone top” or “stone bottom”.
Very important that these are completely different roles than dominant/submissive/switch, which are BDSM terms and describe a more psychological aspect of a relationship than the more physical top/bottom/vers.
I always wondered where Steve Austin got his name from.
I always assumed it was his nickname from when he worked at the creamery.
Nope. Turns out he’s just a very inflexible lesbian. Who knew?
I mean looking at him I can see how he’s not very flexible…
Whatever you say, Stone Cold Growsomethinggood
I think in the second half you’re asking whether butches are more likely to be toppy and femmes are more likely to be bottomy.
I think there’s probably some positive correlation there but butchness and toppiness are distinct concepts.
Things about this post:
- It’s concise, and address the initial post
- I’ve never heard the terms ‘toppy’ or ‘femme’ used in this way, but I’m happy that I have now.
- Is ‘Butch’ PC these days? I’m old and can’t keep track.
- It has the feeling of being written by a professional Lesbian scientist on their lunch break at work.
- I love it.
