If we can avoid massive collective issues that would be appreciated as there is very little agency the individual has to address those and that helpless ess can often extend to the more solvable individual matters we all grapple with but also occasionally rise to conquer.
Narcissists at work. Seriously. Manipulative fucks who are ladder climbing and have little interest in the field. They make my life harder. I currently have to deal with one at work and I know many more are up ahead. How do you handle someone who basically shows classic signs of narcissism, and controlling and toxic behavior, especially when the person themselves are not in the slightest open to the idea of changing or being wrong or seeking help.
I’ve tried setting boundaries, being nice, being sneaky, being absent/avoidant and nothing seems to work. This person has chosen me for some reason to be their pet or something and they get angry when I sway from the script (which is the case on a daily basis).
Malignant compliance maybe? I had a boss who kept nagging me about stuff she didn’t even know how to do so I decided to give her my undivided absolute attention calling her every time I was going to do somehing, every time while I was doing it, every time after completing the task and so on.
I did this for a while and only as a last resort because I was fed up with her attitude. It worked like a charm! Lol
I think that could be a helpful trick. I noticed someone else in our office did that to that person and this person got quite uncomfortable. :)
Cool! Just remember to use it sparingly and not let it become part of your personality.
“Either they leave or I leave” would be setting a boundary. Get some other people on your side in it.
What’s the script? What happens if you just… Don’t? (Really, the worst thing you can do to a narcissist is ignore them)
The script is that I am poor and helpless and need thei constant advice and directions to function.
Ignoring them makes them angry. Several times I tried to ignore something and get distance but it always increases their desire to “check” me and make sure I’m okay and in-script. So avoiding or ignoreing them exacerbates this. :(
Just something to keep in mind. If someone is a dick to you, abusive or ruthless, or just hurtful… 90% of the time, it’s not you. It’s them. There is something broken in them that makes them mean, and needing to hurt. They are malfunctioning.
The last 10% of the time… Own it and work hard to fix it…
But hurtful people hurt, not because of you, but because they are damaged and want to hurt people, and that’s wrong.
Thank you for these words. When my ordeal began, it was hard to realize this straightout because that person looks and acts totally normal, except for the many microagression. They seem obsessed with how others perceive them, so their pristine image and me being a newcomer made me constantly blame myself until that slowly faded a bit each day as I came to realize the absolutely wise words you just typed above.
I have an idea for an invention, but I don’t have the tools or materials to make it, nor do I have the proper space to make it. I have blueprints drawn and experts consulted on design, but not the means to actually do it.
I have 99 problems
Idiotic bureaucratic systems designed to not work
So not much brainstorming to do with a bunch of anthropomorphised catch-22’s.
Unable to find love or happiness.
Completely anecdotal but…
I found a lot of happiness in my my hobbies. Rock climbing has been just perfect for me.
I found my wife on tinder, so maybe give that a try.
Good for you but I doubt I’ll have any luck on any dating apps.
I do concede that I am probably not the usual. But it’s probably at least worth a try.
Have you tried drugs? They won’t get you either but maybe you won’t care if you’re zoinked all the time.
Can’t access traditional drugs. But I’ve tried other things. They temporarily numb the pain. But it comes back and hits even harder…
I’ve been living with my parents for almost 2 years now after graduating from university. Now, I have a job that pays me just enough to live off of and I’ve been wanting to move back to the city where I lived for University. But, my situation is as follows that prevents me from doing so. My dad has a condition, one of the worst conditions you can get, you can probably guess what it is and please don’t say what it is because I don’t like the word. Because of this, my dad can no longer work, and my mom has been trying to find work so I’m taking care of things. And, because of this condition, home life isn’t as great as it used to be and my mental health has deteriorated to nearly nothing. I don’t know what to do and how to get everything back to normal. I’ve been looking for apartments but how can I leave in good consciousness knowing what I’m leaving? I’m stuck and I cannot move literally and figuratively.
What about moving out to a nearby apartment? That way you can still be close to help your parents but have your own space to retreat to.
So shouldn’t he apply for disabillity or something? Not to be unkind but you can’t keep your parents warm by setting yourself on fire.
home life isn’t as great as it used to be
Are they making it that way, like do they act manipulatively or threaten you or harm you in any way?
They’re working on it. I think maybe something may happen with it by the end of this month? And don’t worry, I know I’m burning myself to warm them. I’m trying to fix that a bit. No, it’s not me that’s the target. The condition is straining all of our emotions and things are just in general not as happy anymore.
All of you being burnt out all the time isn’t helping anyone. You have to take care of yourself, you’ll be much better able to help and contribute to your family when you’re in a better mental and physical state. I’d suggest (as someone else did) to find a place relatively nearby so you can still help but at least have your own spacer. Good luck!
Thank you all for the advice. I’ve made a decision and I’m going to be moving to the city. My dad is in relatively good health right now so I think we can manage. Again, thank you all. I really appreciate it
Climate change
Where do you live if you’re comfortable sharing?
Earth
Cause f*** you why not Lol
I am looking into a career change but I’ve been doing the same type of job my whole career.
I have an upcoming interview for a job that sounds really interesting but I’m worried that I won’t be able to highlight my transferable skills.
Does anyone have tips/suggestions?
Is there some kind of project or proof of your abillity/portfolio you could bring in to showcase. Its always better if you have product to demonstrate your skills and knowledge so they can feel confident in your abillity to produce similar product for them
Have ChatGPT brainstorm questions, then ask him to focus on transferable skills. Now you have an idea of what it might look like and you can think of how to explain it to ChatGPT.
Just nailed an interview because I prepped with ChatGPT. Gave it my resume, the position I was applying for, and some of my recent accomplishments and it helped me realize that I was a stronger candidate than I thought, so I was able to use that during the interview.
Please keep in mind that at no time do I ever believe ChatGPT blindly.
I wanna build a fun NN that takes as input an image of your face, and outputs your predicted weight.
If the prediction is wrong, you enter the real answer and then it will use your face and your real weight for the next round of training
I just really want to know if it’s possible to guess someone’s weight by their face, and think it could be a fun exercise.
It’d also be fun to see what features it extracts at various layers (e.g. age, cheek sag, double chin, eye sink, etc.)
You’d probably want height in there as well
That would be interesting, although make-up would skew results.
Tinder being a great example of that
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I’m fed up with streaming platforms and want to turn an old PC into a pirate movie streaming server. It’d be nice to have a detailed guide on what services to use, how to get it to stream to devices, and how to set up a VPN. I assume a Linux distro makes the most sense but I have no platform alleigence. I’m generally pretty competent with computers but I’d like the guide to assume I know nothing about Linux, because I my only experience is with my steam deck
I can help start you off if you want.
(To ward off the mods all of these suggestions are for personal photos and personal video files, created by, or for the user, and in no way am I recommending that piracy is ok or legal)
There are a few frontend/backend solutions that you can pick from that are popular and well supported.
- plex
- Jellyfin
- Kodi
Plex and jellyfin are my picks as those are what I’ve used. They will work on any laptop or desktop running windows/mac/Linux (with some caveats).
The front end that you pick can be a steaming device like a Amazon fire stick, Roku, or AppleTV, this also includes smart TVs, (not all TVs support all or any) for widest support an Android tv would work).
As for where to get your media files there are a lot of options out there, but be careful (I don’t know the this instance’s stance on site recommendations so I can’t list them). As for how, torrenting is still the most popular, but not the only option. You’ll need a torrent program to get the files to download to your “server”. It is also very encouraged and recommended to use a vpn while you download and seed to protect yourself.
While not expansive or detailed I hope this helps.
My Lemmy profile has my matrix ID so if you wanted to talk in a space with more privacy you can send me a message there.
With zero sarcasm: thank you for taking the time to write that explanation out.
However, this is kind of exactly what I’m talking about. You’re saying I can use plex, or jellyfin, or kodi, with all the opperating systems (but not?) and you say I can stream to smart TVs, are Chromecasts smart? I can follow instructions, I just don’t understand how this technology stack works together. Nobody even tells me what Linux distro to use!
Linux distro shouldn’t really matter here. Given what you’ve said, I would recommend using Debian just because it’s the most popular server distro and a lot of server guides will either assume you’re on Debian, or have instructions for Debian. For instance, if you see suggestions to install software using
sudo apt install software-name-here, that’s for Debian.You would probably want to use Docker for this. There are instructions on how to install Jellyfin with Docker here.
The issue with Linux is that the best way to run jellyfin is to use docker (setup and running docker is its own thing that takes more time than I care to work on over lemmy). That way it’s Linux distro agnostic. With windows and Mac there is no issues as they have native apps from the server side that gets timely updates.
If you want to use windows, Mac or Linux, plex downloads for the server to house and stream media from can be found here: linux
choose your distro and install as per your distros standard instructions: windows
you can also install the server software via Microsoft’s windows store if you are so inclined.
mac/apple I have no clue if plex lists their server app via the App Store so your on your own there.Plex will walk you through setup and ask where to find the files you want to add. Jellyfin as well.
Jellyfin files for the server and client(player/viewer) can be found here jellyfin
some options have instructions. Some options require you to be able to understand how to install software specific to a Linux distro and the windows/Mac options should be easy to install and understand.
The Linux distro you want to use will depend on you, but each service has their own preferences.
The end goal of installing all of this is to stream from your server client to the player client software. The server client software will have options on how you want the server seen on your internal network (intranet) and if you want to be able to access the server outside your network, say on your phone on the go (internet). The server clients will also ask you about where they need to look to find the media files you wish to stream locally or outside your network. plex and jellyfin have all of this and more to mess around with, but if you are just doing this at home no need to explore too much if you don’t need to.
So, any of those will work with almost any distro. I’d personally recommend Jellyfin because Plex is run by a private company and it has turned around and bit its users lately.
I think you might want to look up installation instructions for Jellyfin here to understand it a little better: https://jellyfin.org/docs/general/installation
As for what distro? Lots of choices! One thing to remember is there’s so many ways to set things up and everyone has different preferences, so it’s really difficult to just say “Do A, B, and C.” But maybe I can help a bit without assuming anything about your experience level.
Jellyfin is just a
“front-end”server app that runs on top of an OS, that you can access through a browser on your network. All it does is give you a very convenient way to serve up media files you give it access to, across your network! :)My setup as an example: I personally run a server OS called “Proxmox”, wherein I made a virtual machine for OpenMediaVault (a custom Linux OS for making a file server), which helps me run a Docker container for Jellyfin.
(Docker containers are really cool but can be a bit advanced)
But if you think of each component as a building block that you understand and set up, you will get a better idea of what you can learn or leave out for your particular setup.
But let’s make it simpler! I didn’t know anything about this either when I first started. Say you have an old PC with some drives laying around. You could just as well install OpenMediaVault bare metal as the OS, and install Jellyfin within it maybe. That might be enough to get you watching your backed up DVDs on your home network!
Open Media Vault is a modified version of Debian Linux, if I recall correctly. It’s made specifically to get a solid file server up and running. It has a great community too.
https://www.openmediavault.org/
Here’s a really good site with some server tidbits I found useful as well https://perfectmediaserver.com/
I’d also suggest checking out “selfhosted” communities here on Lemmy or maybe that “/r/” site lol.
YouTube can also be handy here, for understanding how to get things going. Things like “ProxMox home server guide” or “Jellyfin server setup”, “OpenMediaVault jellyfin docker”, that kinda thing. You might find one video explains a topic better for you than another.
Sorry it’s super late after a long hike for me but I hope some of this helps you a little on your journey! It’s definitely something to take your time in, more than a “weekend and it’s finished forever” kind of project. :)
Buying a house
Unfortunately I think this is one you just gotta wait out. Eventually as the older population downsizes/ moves to assisted living/ dies, houses will become available.
Also, vote for governments that view housing as a human right and not an investment.
See if you qualify for any down payment assistance programs. Combined with an FHA loan, you could possibly get into a house with under $5k.
It appears i have upset my hip/ lower back and if I love wrong it refers pain into my knee and I can’t bend it without laying down on my back and doing a minute of stretches to get it right again.
Then it’s good for an hour or two before it happens again.
Fortunately I’m an Australian and can go to a dr and physio. Unfortunately I’m in PNG for work for 3 more weeks with none of that available
As a schlub with chronic back problems, I recommend actually doing your physical therapy regularly! It only helps if you do it.
Yeah that’s the plan when I can actually get to a Dr/physio. At the moment I’ve been getting by doing stretches a couple times a day.
Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube (back and hip videos) and buy Dr. Martens shoes if you can get ahold of them. Maybe there’s some equivalent where you are they have cork soles so they aren’t too squishy.
Thanks I’ll check out the videos.
Shoes i can’t do much about given i wear work boots 13 hours a day but luckily today it’s improved with some stretching and taking it easy
Dr. Martens also make steel toe work boots/shoes. You might also check out the redwing brand, but not sure if you can get those either.
I would like to force my Luba 2 robotic mower to mow steeper terrain (almost 45 degrees). The main problem is wheel slipperiness. Current ideas:
- some kind of net in that area for better grip
- making wheels rougher (eg with nails).
- rope that would constantly pull it uphill to counter force of gravity.
What about adding a weight on top to make it heavier?
You’ll want to add weight and grip. I’m not certain what the wheels are like, but you may be able to either replace them or modify them for better traction. I’d see if you CSB find all terrain bike tires and cut them down.
Weight wise, you’ll need to play around and see what you can add without hindering movement.
Counter suggestion, kill off the grass in the area and replace it with a creeping ground-cover. You won’t have to mow, it adds ornamental value, and it’s better for local wildlife.
I live in an increasingly dystopian capitalist world where simple necessities for life are increasingly challenging to obtain, while the pressure for higher productivity for less pay continues to increase.
Join an organisation agitating for proletarian revolution. If there aren’t any near you, you can start with trade union work to build a mass of militant workers that can form the base of a political organisation.
I work in a very small company in an IT type of field. I fully support unionization in general, but I don’t think it’s relevant to me at the moment. Do you disagree?
I would disagree, and I personally know people who have unionised IT workers. I also personally know people who have unionised workers at small companies. I don’t understand why you would say unionisation is not relevant to you? If you’re a worker then it is relevant.
I’ve got a pretty sweet gig, all of us do at this company, and I think “rocking the boat” could only make my situation worse. We are only like a dozen people and there’s only one person in each “department”. We aren’t being mistreated and we are privileged enough to be able to leave if we were.
Well, fundamentally capitalism involves the deprivation of the means of subsistence and production from one class so that they are forced to sell their labour-power to the capitalist class in order to obtain the means of subsistence. You could define that as “mistreatment” or not I guess, but whether or not you do, personal treatment by your capitalist does not change the form capitalism takes. Workers’ power comes from combining. Capitalists are already combined—they work together to keep wages low and prices high. Unionising only levels the playing field in that regard.
I’m not saying that you should always focus on unionisation in every situation—sometimes there is more important political work to be done. But if you have nothing else to do, it’s often the most accessible starting point.
Think of unionizing as ensuring that the good situation you have now will endure over time, for you and the workers after you. Without unions, the only thing stopping your workplace from going from heaven to hell is your boss’ boss’ mood. Or they moving on with their lives.
Start learning a new language so you can move to a country that actually cares about their citizens :)
