I rarely feel attacked when I talk with people in person. And we all take people feelings into consideration enough so no one is trying to attack anyone.
I was not actively commenting on social media since I was 13. But when I joined Lemmy i saw the statistics only 1% of people are actively posting and commenting on social media. And since I knew I was in 99% of people who are only consuming and really wanted Lemmy to take off I tried to be more active.
But now I find myself way too often attacked and attacking. And I always judged people that are attacking others on Xitter or Facebook.
All the people here saying, “Just block them” - personally I just can’t help suspecting that these are the same people who themselves are insulting and abusing others, who in turn are saying “Just block them”.
The solution is not that everyone blocks everyone else. The solution is that we behave civilly and respectfully to each other.
The solution is that we behave civilly and respectfully to each other.
is this your first day on the internet?
The solution is that we behave civilly and respectfully to each other.
Is it an achievable solution? Because I have no idea how we could make that happen.
On reddit I was once literally told to go fuck myself for saying it was a nice day. There are psychotic people everywhere, and I really do agree the solution is just to block them. When someone’s comment to me consists of “You’re an idiot” or some other insult, I generally block them. And no, that’s not how I comment.
When I start to feel irked I imagine it’s Colin Robinson on the other side so there’s no reason to engage.
That made me laugh, thank you for reminding me of that episode!
You guys use the internet?
It’s normal to attack and be attacked, it’s also normal to have a friendly exchange of ideas and it’s very normal to communicate through memes and soundbites.
What isn’t normal is to communicate through emojis. We need to shun those people! They must not be allowed to propagate a second hieroglyphics age! Archeologists will think it was aliens all over again!
Shun them!
😡
I would say… yes! you never know who you are really talking to, so I would never take anything personal someone says to me online, no matter what was said to me.
these are just words on a sceen that can be written by someone who is unwell mentally, as normal people don’t bring other people down during a discussion.
it takes awhile to get used to this, but once you do, the good conversations you have online will (hopefully) outshine the bad ones. good luck!
Someone will see ANYTHING as an attack on the internet. The default interpretation is, “How can this comment be an offense against me and everything I believe in?”
Normal, yes; healthy, no.
I used to have this problem all the time, I think it’s pretty normal. I did many years of therapy, and part of what I got out of that was an understanding of how people deal with pain and anger. The best way to change someone’s mind is to try to empathize with their position and show your understanding. Once you share context with them, you can gently explain why you feel the way you do. Sometimes, you do this and find that the other person’s point of view is a more accurate reflection of your values and you change your mind instead.
Don’t do this with bad faith actors though. just block them.
I used to have this problem all the time, I think it’s pretty normal. I did many years of therapy, and part of what I got out of that was an understanding of how people deal with pain and anger. The best way to change someone’s mind is to try to empathize with their position and show your understanding. Once you share context with them, you can gently explain why you feel the way you do. Sometimes, you do this and find that the other person’s point of view is a more accurate reflection of your values and you change your mind instead.
Don’t do this with bad faith actors though. just block them.
Is it normal? Kinda. Is it healthy? No
That experience hits too close to home.
I think because we choose the topics we engage with on social media, they’re usually ones we’re passionate about.
But the size of the online community means most folks are anonymous. So, unlike your friends or even a group of strangers, there’s a much lower consequence for jerkiness, rudeness etc in response to views which in your eyes may range from insane to evil.
there is nuance in personal interactions that is stripped away via text so it’s very easy to type something you think is perfectly innocuous in spoken word that doesn’t translate at all and because you know what you mean the return attacks don’t make any sense. The only way to stay sane in these environments is to be as objective as possible and be prepared to take on new information and be wrong.
all that aside, if someone is personally attacking you they aren’t worth any time beyond hitting block, and the quicker you get at it the better your online experience.
there is nuance in personal interactions that is stripped away via text so it’s very easy to type something you think is perfectly innocuous in spoken word that doesn’t translate at all
Good point. I will add that on the internet you are not even sure the person is a native English speaker. Which add another barrier.
And now that I think about it, they may be even cultural differences that can have an impact on subjects like politics.
All of that will some groups try to brainwash us into buying their products or their hateful ideology.
But there is something I liked about the old Reddit and here on Lemmy/Mastodon is that we still can some self introspection like Op did
Block them. Trolls are not worth the trouble.
It’s normal, and frankly as old as the internet (any of y’all remember the term ‘flame wars’?). A lot of people here have made great points as to why it happens.
My suggestion? Ignore the attacks, and speak to the content in as even a tone you can manage if you feel the topic is worth discussing. If it gets to a point where the meat of the discussion is lost in the attacks, disengage. Recreational discussion on the net doesn’t need to be a combat sport.
The worst you’ll get with this approach is an accusation of ‘sea-lioning’, which makes some assumptions around intent you can’t really correct all that well if someone’s decided that’s what you’re doing. Though I welcome any suggestions - good faith is hard to prove online when people are so used to attack/counterattack discourse.
When I realized everyone is just frustrated and venting about the lack of control they have in their lives, things became much easier.
