Quite honestly, I never questioned my sexuality. Naturally, I’ve been attracted to others before, I can recognize this feeling quite clearly. Which labels others put on me because of that really doesn’t matter to me, so I don’t think about them. I simply go for it if I feel attraction.

Of course, only go for it if you’re single and while it never applied to me or you in this case, don’t go for illegal things. If something like bestiality or pedophilia ever came up I would start questioning myself and consider therapy.

You’re gonna get sampling bias from the responses here. I guess you should ask why you care about asking this question. If you always liked apples but all of a sudden there’s a type of orange you like, would you question why you like this orange, or would you just accept that you like this type of orange, or maybe you like both apples and oranges. If you both you like each other, and want something then that’s all that should matter.

Yes. And it sucked. And it still sucks.

Within the last few year, I’ve finally realized I’ve been asexual my whole life. I’ve had sex before, but I struggled to care about it or enjoy it. It was always inconvenient, messy, went on too long, etc. I had enjoyed spending time with my partners, but I hated sex, and that’s been a huge part of all my relationships.

And, yes, I’ve had “good sex” before. Just like someone who hates pie can have the best pie ever, it’s still pie!

I’ve sworn off relationships until I can figure it out, but god knows that every romantic relationship will require sex to let my partner know that I care about them and their needs. I’m sick of compromising. Why the fuck should I need to compromise on something that I don’t want or like? Plus, because I’m not into it, I’m sure my partner would want someone who puts in enthusiastic effort to the endeavor.

Don’t tell me that I’ll find someone. It’s not comforting, and I’m still grappling with the reality of it. I’d like a partner, but it’s just not feasible for someone like me.

I’m still mad that I’m like this.

Whenever I question myself, which isn’t often, it’s very easy to check with the Internet, if you catch my drift, but as yet, I very much do not want to see any of that. My preference is clearly the opposite.

But then, for some people, including me, images and real people are very different things. I think I could be somewhere close to demisexual or demiromantic, for example. My instinct is to try to get to know someone really well if I find them even slightly attractive. In older-school phrasing, you might say I’m not the sort of person who is interested in one-night stands.

Your specific situation is one I’ve heard of before and have considered if I could find myself, unexpectedly, with another guy, whatever he might look like. Stranger things have happened, but it’s hard to imagine.

When I was double-checking sexuality definitions just now, I found this page: https://rainbowandco.uk/blogs/what-were-saying/sexuality-definitions which happens to list “finsexual” which fits pretty well with your description. Something to think about, maybe.

But whatever’s going on with your good friend there, I wish you the best, whatever that might mean.

I think that in reality, every human can relate to this post. Straight, gay, bi, asexual. You meet a person that makes you go “what the fuck is happening?”.

My opinion is that it doesn’t really mean (or necessarily equate) that you want to have sex with the person. For myself, I consider myself to be heterosexual although I wish I was bisexual. I do however consider myself to be biromantic, and could very well see myself in a relationship with someone of the same gender. The difference is that when I’ve envisioned or been close to trying the sex part, I get actually physically nautious. Not to say “gays make me sick” but, uh 😂😂 Me personally having gay sex makes me sick.

I can somewhat relate. To quote Maddy Morphosis, I am a gender-non-conforming straight cis male, which to me means my sexual preferences and gender role are somewhat fixed in how I present myself, but I find myself attracted to femininity way more than masculinity when it comes to the people I sorround myself with. That means my sexual partners, friends, and people I keep close are all more affeminate or closer to femininity. In practice this results in my preferring to hang out with LGTBQI+ people more than masculine people, and I happily pick up some of that femininity for my own behavior

I am straight as a board, to my despair. Women are so beautiful and in general hold up better as we get older, it would be so lovely to know I could switch teams if my husband died or we divorced, my kids say I should date women next time if there is a next time but alas, I’ve tried and there is nothing. It’s men for me.

I would argue that being attracted to individuals regardless of their gender is the most natural and reasonable sexuality there is, though. I think of bisexuality or pansexuality as the default setting for humans - we don’t have a mating season or anything, we use sexuality for all sorts of non- reproductive reasons. My kids were raised with no pressure to be straight or not, 3/4 of them are queer, 2 of those lean gay one leans hetero, but as preference not orientation if that makes sense. One is as straight as I am, it’s an orientation.

I identify as bi but I don’t really find myself attracted to outwardly masculine or ‘normal’-looking guys, often, as you said, femininity is a thing, and consideration. There’s also the pansexual concept which transcends traditional borders. I do find enby peeps attractive too.

I saw gay porn once and was immediately sure that I’m hetero. That’s definitely not the flavor for me. If how I felt is how gay people feel when they see hetero sex in movies, then you guys have my condolences. Yuck!

I was curious, so my friend who bi let me go down on him. It was not my thing lol. Cunilingus, however 🤤

I think gayness is a spectrum. Likewise, I think emotions are not back and white. So you could have some feelings for this guy, you could be confused, and if this was ancient Greece you probably would have slept with him by now, but whether you see him as a partner or a little brother you want to protect is a conscious choice you can make.

First, romantic attraction isn’t the same as sexual attraction. Do you want to spend time with them or fuck them?

Second, honestly I somewhat wish I was attracted to men, but I’m not. I’ve known gay/bi men who are attractive, but I’m not attracted to. I’m not off put by men by any means, but there’s zero sexual attraction to them for me. If this isn’t the case for you, then you may be interested in men but repressing it because you haven’t considered it before.

This is something you have to figure out for yourself. Consider the idea of sleeping with them and if that idea is interesting to you then I guess you’ve learned something new about yourself. Just like being attracted to women doesn’t mean you’re attracted to all women, the same is true for men and maybe you just hadn’t met a man that does it for you until now.

I spent years questioning my orientation because of how rare and mild my attraction to men was. It wasn’t until I started hormones and it went away completely before I realized definitively that yeah I had been attracted to men.

My question for you is, do your labels matter more, or your desires? And it’s ok to use the questioning label

Identify as straight. F1nn5ter could absolutely get it.

I am straight, but my social media habits put me into a lot of contact with memes from gay, lesbian, pan, and everything else under the sun. A lot of it seems relatable, even if I never experience those same feelings IRL with real people. Definitely makes me question my sexuality semi regularly, lol.