When all of your exes get to happily move on in relationships that aren’t you and you get nobody for extended periods of time.
While you’re prideful in yourself to know that whatever relationship you get won’t feel as tainted as theirs because maybe they’re manipulative. The thing about it is that, I’ve tried being upfront, honest, detailed and everything to get someone with.
And I guess working on yourself and trying to improve aren’t exactly attractable qualities.
I had a good friend who spent way too much time bitching about how he was getting fucked and life just wasn’t fair. He never took the time to live in the moment and just enjoy his life. He never understood that in reality life isn’t fair, has never been fair, and never will be fair. Even though he was a young guy he got cancer. He died within a year. But during that year he finally grasped the concept of living each day and no longer worrying about the future and how life was fucking him.
I mean, yeah, he had cancer and that sucked, but there is the advantage that you know things are going to end soon. That means no long-term planning necessary - a luxury we with a future do no have. I could live the best life for the next six months, but after that, I’d be homeless or back at my parents or friends and the next 5-10 years would be shit. It might also completely fuck over whatever little retirement I have left.
So “living in the moment” is good advice, but like everything: everything in moderation, even moderation.
Agreed. Dying from something when you know how long you’ve got is different from not having any idea when you are going to die.
Living in the moment is not limited to blowing your savings on frivolous things. It also includes focusing on the free or inexpensive things we do every day like spend time with family and friends or even just enjoying some free entertainment.
It is about not worrying so much about everything else that you ignore the positives that are happening right now.
Indeed. But living in the moment knowing when you’ll die and living in the moment not knowing are two very different things.
The op was talking about how the friend wasn’t living in the moment prior to knowing they were going to die.
He never took the time to live in the moment and just enjoy his life.
You didn’t finish reading
But during that year he finally grasped the concept of living each day and no longer worrying about the future and how life was fucking him.
No, I understand that there are multiple things that you are conflating because they have some overlap.
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That I’m part of the group of people who might never own a house, work until I’m 80, and never be able to just work on my dreams until they are reached. Sad thing is that lots of people have it worse. It’s unfair that 99% weren’t born with a golden spoon up their ass and can live on the work of the rest. Shit rolls downhill.
I grew up really active and I’ve always loved sports and running around. At some point I started having some problems and was passing out in school gym class. Unfortunately my parents were poor, so we didn’t do anything about it. Fast forward a handful of years and I’m having seizures and intense migraines. Finally go to the hospital and I’m told “I don’t know how you’re alive” by my surgeon before I spent two months in the ICU.
I’m grateful for my medications allowing me a somewhat normal living, but I’ll never play sports again. I’ll never run again. Sometimes just putting on clothes in the morning or walking to another room winds me. Getting told at 26 years old that I’ll never be active again broke my heart and now I’m just trying to get by on what little I have while trying to preserve my dignity. It feels unfair but I try not to dwell on it.
Might be able to rebuild strength with swimming. Zero impact, and great cardio. Obviously consult your doctor, but I’ve seen all types manage to recover much better with water yoga and swimming rather than traditional exercise
Capitalism and the lack of queer, civil, and democratic rights worldwide.
Totally agree. It’s really embarrassing about how slow of a progress it has been to let people just be people with the same set of advantages and disadvantages with only marginally slight tilts.
Places in the middle-east still see women as lesser than, some parts of America still see blacks as lesser than, see gays as lesser than and vice versa.
We all bleed the same color, don’t we?
We certainly do - and we will fight for each other.
This. I wish I lived during a time where we moved past these archaic systems and prejudices.
Politics and economics are things that have the most negative direct impact on my life, it took me 15 years to immigrate to somewhere somewhat better and 10 of those were also spent fighting for healthcare while fighting landlords, shitty bosses and other assorted bastards while under assault from right-wingers day in day out in all mainstream media, always on the edge of deportation and death, so much time wasted in my early 20s.
Coming to terms with death being in all likelihood the very near future when you’ve just had a taste of life for the first time is an indescribable feeling.
Otherwise I have zero regrets, I’ve unironically never made any bad decisions even in hindsight and I make far more privileged people than myself jealous with what I’ve managed to make of my situation, including maybe the guy who downvoted this and the person above?
If you live in the NL, go check out Rentbusters. They may help. Or maybe a worldwide Rentbuster initiative should be set up.
Netherlands? North Louisiana? No such luck sadly
Being sentient but mortal feels pretty unfair.
“OMG I exist!”
“Wait, what do you mean I wont exist forever?”
Born to narcissistic parents, full blown clinical depression, anxiety, gay, running out of reasons to live.
lol, same here
I was born with everything needed to overcome all obstacles in life and it’s never been fair.
Life? Unfair to me?
I’d say it’s all in the Right To Repair movement Vs Planned Obsolescence. I grew up learning how to fix stuff, make stuff, swap parts, etc.
And I still have those skills, but these days the big companies don’t want the little guys to have access to proprietary parts and tools anymore, making many repairs that would otherwise be pretty easy actually almost impossible.
They just want you to throw away all your old stuff every year or two and buy an entire new product. I don’t care what if any deity you believe in, I don’t think the good spirit intended on people throwing everything away and turning Earth into a huge dumpster.
Same. I grew up rebuilding bicycles and skateboards. I made toys to go with my other toys.
Fighting back against this nightmare world takes it out of me. People keep complaining about my tools and equipment because they think it’s some kind of compulsive disorder.
Telling people I do repairs, innovations and inventions on the side sounds like a mental health crisis. They don’t see the brainwashing they’ve been put through as the problem.
It may sound like I’m a conspiracy theorist, but companies and other entities out there who’re actively denying people to self-repair, are knowingly complacent with the idea of keeping people dumb.
So yes, I believe in planned obsolescence, simply because removing the right to repair, voiding warranties, not allowing information to be shared. It’s all part of a scheme to keep people dumb and reliant on throwing away more money to these companies and indirectly committing victimless crimes like polluting and adding to the problems of landfills.
Here in the US, whether or not you succeed in life can be largely determined by your zip code of birth.
Seems pretty unfair to me.
I don’t know. People just seem to dislike me more, it seems. That isn’t some kind of pessimism-inspired or self-inspired statement, it’s an actual observation/reflection that notably isn’t one when it comes to the people who make it their position to mediate. I have no issue with the latter, albeit with the former invalidating the latter’s level of respect for me.
I have several mental disorders that partially disable me, making daily life difficult. I can function, but I’m still at a considerable disadvantage compared to everyone else. One in particular is associated with a 20+ year reduction in life expectancy and drastically higher risk of dementia later in life.
Appreciate your luck when you catch a break, but do not expect it. Life is not fair. It never was, nor will it ever be.
Your post contents themselves deserve a response, but to answer the question: I’ve never bothered thinking life is unfair, I learned this lesson early on as an eldest sibling (and it seems like a lot of other eldest siblings I talk to are slightly more in tune with unfairness than non eldest siblings, but this is anecdotal and I’m not willing to defend this observation)
Life is obviously filled with things that feel fair and unfair, but ultimately fairness is not part of the rules of our reality so there’s no need to determine its presence or abscence.
To speak to your own response, it’s super easy and feels great to imagine those who we feel have wronged us have been suffering ever since we left their lives. Rarely does this ever actually play out that way, nor is it healthy to rely on this line of thinking to find closure, peace, satisfaction, etc. It is more realistic to expect their lives to be fulfilling their goals on some level, and its likely they aren’t miserable at all.
I have no idea what you’re saying after the first section, but there are people out there all along the “is okay with a non ideal partner” scale out there. You can have your flaws and have a partner and a healthy relationship, and anyone worth your time will consider any progress you have already made, even if that’s not always enough to make you the one they want to be with.
I don’t want to make any further statements as this is already too general and assumption heavy, and you do not deserve to be told what to do without an ounce of actual attention to your life. I can guaranteo you’re not alone in the problems you are facing.
I’ve always found riding the waves of life with attention to my goals has worked in a way that leaves me generally satisfied with the process.
Solid nuggets of advice in there
Shitty parents, which causes depression. And depression sucks.
Also my fucking myopic eyesight. Cant see shit if my glasses break. I fucking hate this shit. And Lasik is too terrifying for me to attempt, so this is my life now. 😓
The second one is at least an “easy” fix. I had Lasik a couple of years ago, and don’t get me wrong - it was weird and uncomfortable. But literally took less than 5 min, and they gave me an anti-anxiety pill beforehand.
Capitalism…
