A tiny dinosaur eraser when I was like 6 or 7?

In the first grade, I was bullied by a popular kid in my school.

Back in those days (early '90s), the cool thing was to have pencil grips. Kids loved to show off an assortment of colors and styles of them. This bully of mine happened to have a single pencil, covered from tip to eraser with pencil grips, which was his prize possession. He was always showing it off to everyone. It was rumored he’d been stealing them off other kids, but no one could definitively prove it.

When he wasn’t looking one day, I snatched his favorite pencil with all the pencil grips. It was justice for all the times he picked on me in grade school. I enjoyed watching him frantically turn his backpack inside out, trying to find it.

I didn’t get to keep it for long, though. A week later, one of the stricter teachers found it in my backpack and told me I had too many pencil grips for a single pencil, so she confiscated it. I didn’t know any better at the time, or else I would’ve complained about her stealing my property. But it was already stolen, so I didn’t really care to fight it.

That was the first and last time I stole something. I actually agonized over it for a long time afterward. I was relieved when the teacher stole it from me because it was finally out of my hands and I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. I never stole anything else again; the anxiety of holding onto stolen goods etched itself deep into my psyche.

Also calling out my sister: When I was maybe 6 or so, my mother found a stash of candy in a cabinet of our kitchen; mostly Lifesavers. She asked me where it came from and I just shrugged. She then asked my sister, who was 2 years younger than me, and my sis immediately broke down crying. Turns out, every time my mother went to the gas station, my little sis would grab a couple rolls of Lifesavers and pocket them. She thought my parents would never look in the messy cabinets of our kitchen.

I'm pretty sure she never stole again after getting caught. She was a wreck for a while afterward and almost terrified of candy when offered.

In 5th grade I discovered that my hand and wrist were small enough to reach up into 25 cent bathroom pad and tampon dispensers. I didn’t really understand what they were for but I thought it was funny to empty them out whenever I saw them.

My moms heart when I was born.

I saw a grey snubnose pistol toy somebody left lying around at a rental shop when I was like… 5? It was exactly like the one I had, but mine was green and I wanted the realistic grey. Felt so bad about it once I got home that I hid it and never touched it, and then it eventually went missing.

I used to put things in my vest pocket when I worked at Walmart and “accidentally” take them home. I was a twenty-something but I fucking hated that place and felt like I deserved more.

It was a red and green plastic pencil sharpener shaped like a dachshund. You stuck your pencil in his butt. I stole it from a desk in Sunday School. I stole from God.

Not that I remember but apparently when I was 2 yrs old or so I snatched a handful of very expensive wedding cake from a bakery display window while my dad was busy paying at the counter. He noticed when picking me up to leave and godspeed back home because he couldn’t afford paying the now damaged cake.

The first and only thing I remember stealing was a monkey toy when I was 3 or 4 yrs. Went to a party or something at someone’s house, there were other kids there and I decided I deserved that monkey more than they did so I pocketed it. My parents found out afterwards, they weren’t happy about it but didn’t care enough to return the toy to the owner. I guess it was a cheap toy.

A newspaper.

Did not know it was stealing… I was … maybe 7?

Up until that point in my life, I’d only ever been to stores or restaurants that had free flyers or small community newsletters.

First time I was in a similar small store, I assumed full, 30+ page newspapers worked the same way.

After being informed that full newspapers cost money, and I had stolen it, I returned it.

The store clerk did not even realize I had taken the paper, laughed, appreciated my honesty, and gave me a tootsie pop.

According to my mom, the calcium off her teeth.

“My dentition was so great, but then you came.”

Stole some clothes from Hot Topic; had to remove the ink tags later by hand. I skipped school with my crush at the time and it was a rush.

When I went to malls as a teenager I would often get stopped and searched as if I was shoplifting. Was over 6’ at 16 and often wore hoodies. When I started getting into cross-dressing I was too ashamed to go through checkout with it. So I dressed in nicer clothes then hoodie and jeans, and shoplifted women’s clothing from every clothing store that ever stopped and searched me incorrectly previously. Part shame part revenge part kink.

I remember stealing small toys from dentists and pediatricians when I was little. Like, you were allowed to pick one toy after the appointment and I took two or something?

Unfortunately, I’ve also stolen from friends of mine. I was around 7 or 8 and wanted a Tamagotchi real bad but couldn’t afford one because I didn’t have/get any allowance and my parents couldn’t just buy me one since we were tight on money growing up. Ff to us visiting friends and I notice 15€ on my friend’s night desk which I just stashed.

Same day, I go to my mother, all proud, and proclaim “Look, I only need another 5€ to get a Tamagotchi!” When she asked where I’d gotten the money from, I confessed, realised what I did was stupid, and apologised to his mother over the phone. I remember crying real bad and promising I’d never do something like that ever again; she was really cool about it and wasn’t angry at all which was nice. Felt awful regardless.

I did end up getting a Tamagotchi for my birthday so yay?

Kisses?

I stole a pen once, by accident