Yeah this is an easy Shiloh angle for me. I’m down for some Radiohead every now and then, and when I’m not, that’s what noise cancelling headphones are for.
I would get Shiloh but I bet he talks in math and buzzes like a fridge
Radio head it is then
Can I work from home instead?
Yes, but one of them moves in with you.
Well. Shit.
If the worst part of Dayzie is possibly smelling bad, then I’ll take her. I work with someone now who is Indian. Great guy, but I try not to get close… being a cube or 2 away, I barely smell it, so this seems like the best option. Plus, she looks cute. Sorry if that’s offensive to say or inappropriate these days, but oh well.
I think this post was vaguely sexist and racist but on the other hand, it also wasn’t funny or interesting either.
Dayzie obviously
The answer is Wallace. Every old dude with a desk near me has been a solid guy who shuts the fuck up and always makes coffee before I get in.
A stereotype … but why do old people wake up so early and go to bed so early?
People have different circadian rhythms on average as they age. We simply associate the pattern of those middle aged and older with virtue. Middle age and old people raise children, and they teach children that the sleep patterns of the elders are wise and just, while the sleep patterns of the youth are slovenly and sinful. Our entire concept of “early” is defined by what middle age and older people simply adapt to naturally without force or effort. Older folks tend to wake up at a certain hour, so we just declare that the hour everyone is expected to wake at.
The most insidious form of this temporal bigotry is how we typically force high school students to start school at the earliest time of day of any school students, even though high school students have the latest natural waking time of any age group. We value “teaching lessons” to our youth more than we do actually teaching them. So we drag them out of bed at an unnaturally early hour so that they can make class at 7 AM. We then berate and shame them for being sleepy and inattentive in the unnaturally early classes we require them by law to attend.
And I say all this as someone in their late 30s who naturally wakes up pretty early. From an evolutionary perspective, it makes a great deal of sense why we have people with different natural sleep and wake times, and for those preferences to shift with age. We spent several hundred thousand years living as small groups huddled around campfires. Part of warding off predators is having people on watch through the night. Having people who don’t have to fight to stay awake late into the night makes that guard duty so much easier. In prehistory, I imagine the young adults staying up late into the night after the adults are asleep, enjoying some time to themselves, tending the fire, and watching for predators. The last of the youth to go to sleep would trade off with the earliest rising of the elders. We are a social species. We are evolved to live in groups. And a group is more effective with a diversity across many characteristics, including sleep/wake times.
But we’ve forgotten this fact and turned a simple consequence of evolution into a moral issue. And for that, we as a society abuse our youth and force them to wake at unnaturally early hours for the sake of puffing up the sense of moral superiority of the middle aged and older. Collectively, our relation to early waking times, and especially how we use it to collectively abuse our children, is one of our greatest sins as a culture.
You put the “L” in “LLM”.
(/s if needed - I absolutely thrive on extensive word jamborees)
Because we have to get up to pee a bunch of times during the night and eventually can’t sleep at all so we get up for the day. Which results in our being tired AF and having to go to bed early.
It’s more go to bed late and still wake up early. I was up to 4am (at home) and still woke up about 9:30am
My favorite old guy I worked with, I was around 25 at the time, he was early 70s.
We used to joke that I’d call him with a wake up call when I was getting home from the bar, and he could return the favor when he took his morning break. He was in the office every day at 5:30.
WWII
Well the getting up early is because we go to bed early. And we go to bed early because we can and no one can stop us.
You start to lose endurance. Your body becomes less efficient at recovery, and while you’re not pushing as hard and you don’t need as much sleep, you find that kicking it off earlier is advantageous. Your eyesight starts to deteriorate, you start finding that doing work in bright light affords you better focus through the pinhole effect.
There is always an exception. One of my older coworkers once came in to work with a sprained ankle. I asked why and he said he got it from kicking a dog, with zero remorse in his expression. I wish I had not asked. I knew he was weird but that detail cemented my opinion of him.
Maybe the dog was about to attack a small child.
I’ve seen someone poke a dog in the ass with a stick. They were a hero. Dog was latched on to someone’s leg.
Yeah it’s possible it was a defensive move. But I don’t think he framed it that way, and I would absolutely be sure to clarify why I kicked a dog if that were the truth. Honestly I would probably lie to avoid having to explain that.
Sadly this was a while ago and I don’t remember if I asked for more details. I just remember it was super awkward.
I’m not sure id have a problem with any of these honestly.
What an HR thing to say
/s
I mean, we’re going on no information but one data point. Certainly hr is up there on odds to have some issues. But I’m at a work place were people generally get along well.
Anyone from HR will probably be on the phone a lot.
Same, dude. I was about to say, I’d hang with all of these people in an open space office. Seems like a perfectly okay group. Wallace might… have some generational gaps in the conversation department. But only might. He might be totally cool.
Ya gotta be able to talk with almost anyone, right? Be nice and act interested by asking some basic questions, and we might actually become interested once we get to know someone.
God knows it doesn’t always pan out that way – some people are just boring af – but… At least we tried, hey.
Wallace. In a heartbeat. Cause if someday he doesn’t have one, I’ve got my own office!
Finally the voice of reason. And until then I got an extra cool Grandpa figure in my life to tell me goofy stories.
Monkey paw: he’s a raging maga
Whichever isn’t a fucking bigot.
I’m willing to bet Lewis has some very strong opinions about women, race relations, and video game journalism.
Judgy but okay
What is Hannah’s negative trait?
She in hr, there’s no way she’s not evil.
Susan is in HR, not Hannah
Her fiancé
Presumably, she won’t “just got engaged” for more than a week. Or she has a very interesting personal life, I dunno.
Dayzie
me too, i like the way women smell…
Susan. Make friends with HR. Get your folder marked, “promote ahead of peers”.
Nah ACAB. (Hr are cops in my head cannon)
My wife is the admin Spock. In her last job, she knew the bosses were unreasonable and was willing to cover for the employees more or less (some were jerks or incompetent. They didn’t last long.)
Though generally, if upper management does something outright scandalous or outright illegal, HR usually helps cover it up. I don’t think she’d be willing to cover sexual assault, but she did had to cover up grift by clients.
Just remember that Rule of Acquisition #48 always applies when dealing with HR:
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife!
Absolutely Wallace. He looks like he prefers to work in dead silence - thumbs up.
Gotta be careful with that. I shared an office with an old guy once and had to bring headphones. We wouldn’t talk, but he would constantly make old man noises. Coughs, grunts, snorts, etc. If I didn’t block them out, they would drive me crazy like nails on a chalkboard. That said, the guy himself was really cool and I loved working with him otherwise.
‘Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.’
Alternatively, he’s the type of old fart that constantly makes calls when they could’ve been emails.
And when it’s a message I bet it would be just Hi and nothing after that until you reply
AAAAAAAH
“Anything longer than a sentence deserves a phone call”
Had a supervisor that if you texted back and forth with him more than twice for something, he’d call you
Never shuts up about how the country has gone to hell, complaining about “the queers”, etc, etc, etc.
He could be a union supporter though - in my experience of doing labor organizing, the younger folks are usually more pro-union, then there’s a dead zone of support from the Boomers, and then the really old folks are much more supportive because they grew up when unions were more of an active force.
If Wallace is down to organize, then I’d pick him and just take the risk that he’s got some shitty opinions that I’ll have to work through and re-educate him on.
Alternatively, may have a shitload of good jokes and all around pleasant person to work with. Its a mix with the elderly. The sharp ones are awesome sometimes
Known farter because I can assert dominance
