• leadore@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Hm, I’m kind of in between. I do this fairly often, not wanting to go out right when someone else is there. But I don’t know why, since as far as I can tell it doesn’t make me feel anxious to run into someone like in the cartoon.

    It doesn’t bother me at all to cross paths with someone and I’m fine with saying Hi or just nodding to acknowledge their presence. Rarely does anyone actually try to start a conversation or anything. If they do say anything it’s probably just a one-liner and move on. And it’s easy to tell if someone doesn’t want to nod or say Hi as you pass because they stare at the ground the whole time, and I’m fine with that too, but I don’t do that.

    But now I’m wondering, so why do I tend to wait until they’re gone? Is it really social anxiety? I don’t think so? I’m a loner but I have no problem or anxiety talking to people either. 🤔

    • neomachino@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      I’m usually rushing out somewhere when I leave the house and a few of my neighbors are talkers, which I normally don’t mind at all. But sometimes it makes more sense to just wait inside for a minute rather than get stuck in a 5 minute conversation.

  • HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com
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    2 days ago

    My wife is like this. She claims its because the dog is to crazy around them, but its not the dog. I know her. Its funny because when caught with the neighbors she is cordial and will talk and laugh but she just can’t get passed her predispositions. I on the other hand will run out if I hear the neighbors as I like to play with their dogs.

    • can@sh.itjust.works
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      2 days ago

      The entire point is that seemingly easy thing just isn’t for them. I know because that used to be me at my worst points.

      It can be learned however. Now I’m probably the guy they want to avoid because I will smile and say hi.

    • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Just stroll out as casual as possible and act suprise when they see you. “oh shit, hey” without any clothes on. Repeat this until they relocate their usual hangout spot to another building.

      E: or discover your like exhibitionism and your fear of socializing drops (but your horniness rises when you can hear them congregating)

  • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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    2 days ago

    People who say Lemmy is not a social media site might just be right.
    Because apparently the people here do not want to be social they just want the media.

    • pyre@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      I think lemmy and reddit are super different from social media. you can use some of their tools to socialize but most if not all people don’t use their real names, most don’t even have a proper profile, most people don’t follow each other or try to get followers, etc. there’s just no “relationship” aspect that is distinct to social media sites.

      if anything lemmy feels a little more social just because of the small size, and how you start to recognize the same bunch of people in the comments. but I’d expect that to go away if it ever gets really big one day.

  • mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml
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    2 days ago

    Every fucking time I want to leave some other neighbour comes out first and I have to wait for them to clear out before I can leave.

    And they are so slow! Clear the public area swiftly you inconsiderate buffoons!

      • SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org
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        2 days ago

        The old people always want to talk and I’m too nice to cut them off. There is no other choice but to avoid them at all costs.

        • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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          2 days ago

          To actively avoid interacting with anyone outside of your specific social circle??? Doesn’t seem like that would be “normal”.

          • Lumisal@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            Come visit Finland! Then you can be the weird one 😂

            There was a joke here that they were telling us to stand closer together during the height of Covid for example

          • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            I suppose it depends on your definition of normal. But I specifically didn’t say it was normal for everyone, I said it was normal social anxiety. Which only affects around 10% of people. Still a pretty large number, that’s about the same as being left-handed. And yet you likely know more people that are left handed, because the odds of meeting someone with social anxiety are, of course, much lower even though just as many exist.

            • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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              2 days ago

              That would be “normal social anxiety symptoms” or even “normal for social anxiety” where normal applies to the symptom discussed. Here your use of normal supplements the “social anxiety” which I do understand is more prevalent than people would really acknowledge but isn’t exactly normal.
              Even more so for zero contact, no coping mechanism social anxiety that has you saying rude things about others existing in shared physical space.

              • can@sh.itjust.works
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                2 days ago

                Is “normal social anxiety symptoms” really meaningfully different than "“normal social anxiety”? Isn’t that implied?

                • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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                  2 days ago

                  It is not implied. In fact I doubt most people would consider social anxiety to be even a clinical term and it is often used a catch all for minor anxiety towards social interactions that can be difficult.

                  Following up someone saying they hide inside when neighbors are around and that they think they are buffoons for not moving at the speed you want because of a lack of self control with “well that’s just normal social anxiety” validates and normalizes behavior that is neither valid nor productive.

                  My grandmother was an English teacher and she would tell you it’s not ok to leave things implicit as you leave the comprehension to the reader when that is the purpose of you as the speaker.

          • Kellenved@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            Undiagnosed anxiety sufferers who think it’s normal to be terrified of human interaction downvoting you

  • EtherWhack@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    For me, it’s my roommate and the never-ending rant about ‘stupid’ things going on at work.

  • 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com
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    2 days ago

    My relationship with my neighbors is that we’re great friends to the point that we don’t even knock coming into each other’s apartments, especially considering we regularly take each other’s dogs for walks while the others away.

    • allidoislietomyself@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      This sounds like my personal nightmare. I’d never be able to relax knowing someone could drop by any moment. You’re way more friendly than I.

      • 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com
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        2 days ago

        The whole neighborhood, for the most part, consists of friends. It’s employee housing for a ski resort so they’re all at least coworkers, with the exception of the cop who doesn’t do anything but is used as a threat against everyone else by the landlord and me who’s an unemployed arguably crazy person who’s trying to get on disability for the seizures and is allowed to stay since I sleep on my dad’s couch and he gets along great with the resort.

  • usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    Are they afraid to leave their apartment? It looks like they’re outside their apartment with needing the key to turn the deadbolt.

    • tiramichu@lemm.ee
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      2 days ago

      Different lock types are more or less common in different places.

      I don’t know where the artist of the comic lives, but here in the UK for example most exterior doors have a keyhole on BOTH sides, and you need to use the key to lock or unlock it from inside, as well as from out.

        • tiramichu@lemm.ee
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          2 days ago

          It does feel like it might be, but I don’t know if it actually is.

          The UK generally has extremely good fire safety regulations, so if this was getting people killed I feel like it would have been the subject of some scrutiny.

          The house I grew up in was this way, and the house I live in now with a new door (<10yo) is still that way.

          As a kid I never thought about it, and I don’t remember ever being stuck in the house.

          The way people normally deal with keys is that everyone who needs a key has one of their own on their keyring, and there is usually also a ‘house’ key which stays by the door and isn’t taken away anywhere.

          And none of this is to say “this is a good way” it’s just to say “this is the way people are used to here”