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- Place the plastic table on your nose
- Remove the crust and lick it like a rabbi at a circumcision
- Roll pieces 1,3,5 from tip to girth and arrange them into an F shape
- Roll pieces 2,4,6 from girth to tip and arrange them into a U shape.
- Thank the pizza guy who is holding the box still, and then slam the door in his face.
- Continue licking the crust you hid in your pocket, and then dial for another pizza
Remove cheese and scrape off the remaining sauce. Roll what’s left in the cheese. Feed it to your neighbor. By force if necessary. And yes. Throw away the crust. We are not animals.
Bloody Mary garnish.
Blend it
Chopsticks
knife + fork + stacked slices, as Donald Trump was called out for on The Daily Show 17 years ago
Soak it in wine and boof it
You throw it away, not eating it.
This reminds me of an article about how to pack your plastic shopping bags to avoid spoiling frozen and refredgerated items on the way back home. The article basically boiled down to: bring a cooling bag.
It’s answering some question while completely disregarding the premise of the original question.
My father uses a knife and fork to cut off the crust, eat in pieces, and then continues to use the knife and fork. It is so embarrassing whenever we’re out.
maybe showing him this would help?
This is exactly what I think whenever I see him doing it
In soup.
Uncut, center out from the bottom.
Or
Roll into a cone, bite out the center from the bottom, suck the toppings and sauce through the bottom like a waffle cone, discard the crust.
Dammit. Now I gotta do this to fuck with my kid
It’s good to build distrust and topics of discussion for therapy as early as possible.
Nah, roll it into a cone with the topings on the outside and try to suck the crust though the topings.
Please do that in the line to vote, so people feel more confident in how competent the electorate is.
Fresh outta the freezer
rolling it up starting from the crust like it was a croissant and then taking a bite, not from the end, but from the side
OR
not cut into slices, you tear out the center and slip your head through so it sits around your collar, then lift it to take bites periodically like a candy necklace
The question reminds me of a skit: https://youtu.be/v-lYREzDN6U
Inject it straight into a vein
