I’ve done that :)

Sometimes I get lucky and a given gathering is up for the really gnarly (but still entertaining rather than maudlin) stories, and I end up going on for quite a while lol.

I used to be banned from dinner tables because of that lol.

I mean, by virtue of the place itself, this is YDI.

Besides, you took the bait lol. Even if they didn’t have a very clear policy I’m place that was easy to find, you can’t blame anyone if you take the bait that’s so obviously dangled lol

Aight, as someone that used to wash dirty bodies for a living, and insists on a level of cleanliness because of that, you’re way overestimating the funk most people have in the short term.

The typical person that’s bathing regularly (not even daily) and is changing clothing daily just isn’t going to smell that bad.

Hell, if a person is actively sweating, they’ll smell better because sweat will flush away the stuff that makes funky smell or taste, so all you get is saltiness.

For real, even in nursing homes with urinary incontinent patients, they didn’t stink just by virtue of being in a wet diaper for a while. A washcloth (or the equivalent) and a light scrub would remove any aroma. For an ambulatory adult using basic methods to clear residual urine, you might get the lightest hint at the end of a long day.

Mostly, genitals just smell genital-y. A little light musk, some hints of sebum scent, and maybe the generic scent of skin. It’s far from unpleasant, even when strong enough to detect while helping someone change clothes.

Now, I never went down on, or fucked a patient. Wouldn’t have been interested in crossing that line even if they were otherwise compatible.

But I have gotten freaky with people after their work, after workouts, etc. The truth is that if they stink it points to something being out of whack. It’s not the default at all. A person’s diet and intake of things has way more influence on their taste and similar to their scent than just being out and about randomly.

For real, while I do prefer such intimacy fresh out of a shower because of my history dealing with people that did have something out of whack, it’s not some kind of horrible experience otherwise. Like, it’s less unpleasant than kissing after eating roasted garlic (which isn’t really unpleasant tbh, just intense).

And it’s not like a full bath is going to be significantly better at knocking down UTI risks than a wipe it washcloth and a light attention.

Seriously, where did you get the idea that crotches stink that bad just walking around?

I mean, if you can’t have the vent go outside, it’s better than nothing, but it won’t pull a majority out of the vented air without passing over the ice pack multiple times.

Only people I’ve ever known to try them thought they weren’t worth a dime

Oh yah, shove your gay cookie down my throat!

Stillsuit ftw?

I don’t think I can ever go back to not having one

Unfortunately, you fell afoul of the most common of forum errors. You didn’t check the community.

Now, while that community doesn’t have a rule about that twat, and has rules against that kind of rhetoric in general (as in violent rhetoric), you do have a degree of responsibility of vibe checking a place before you jump in.

You also have to take into account instances on the fediverse. You can’t just roll into .ml and preach capitalism, and you can’t go into a blahaj and defend a known bigot. It’s never going to end well.

I do think the ban was a tad much overall, though a temporary cool off one would have been fine. A temp ban based on the tone and phrasing of your comments would be totally justified.

And the reason given was absolutely bullshit. Rowling stan does nothing useful, it just sets up an antagonistic paradigm of mod vs users instead of a controlled curation.

Despite that, I can’t see a PTB being the right call, but it wasn’t a total YDI either. The extent of the action was too far, but done in good faith despite that

Honestly? Yeah, go for it.

It really doesn’t matter why or what criteria someone uses to select a donor, you’re doing something nice. For a couple that can’t conceive because of sperm issues (whatever those issues might be), having a variety of anonymous donors to pick from empowers them in a way that is really unique.

Think about the whole of human history where infertility was insurmountable without an outsider being directly involved in an intimate way. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it isn’t for everyone. Medical assistance gives freedom and independence of choice way beyond what used to be possible.

So, yeah, if you don’t have some major genetic problems, donate.

I’m talking about all religious nutters. Of which, monotheists are the nuttiest, and the abrahmic trio are above and beyond.

My point still stands that religious fuckwits are trying to blow up the world. The fact that some of them are jewish is secondary.

If you’re broke, pretty much all of the usual external aids are out unless you already have them

Valerian nd kava have pretty potent anti anxiety effects. Pretty much the most potent ones, and the most reliable plant based stuff since even with the usual variances, you won’t have zero effect, nor too heavy.

So that kinda leaves you with non chemical options (just because they’re plant based don’t mean they ain’t drugs, ya dig).

Breathing exercises are the front line defense, even if you aren’t in practice, so you start there. Doesn’t even matter what kind, because there’s a chain of control. Control your breathing, control your heart rate and brain patterns. Control those, you control the stress chemicals being released, and that’s where the panic attack part really lives

It isn’t instant, but it works.

The problem is starting them. What I found helped a good bit when I could, was the opposite. Start out doing anything that spikes respiration and pulse. Sit ups, pushups, jumping jacks, whatever you can tolerate physically. Just crank out enough to spike your breathing and pulse a little. It serves multiple purposes, but the key to it is breaking the cycle of the attack. Usually, once you get that spike, you’ll be able to engage breath control easier than if you try starting that first.

Beyond that, you gotta find things to ground yourself in the real world instead of your head. Again the what doesn’t matter much, but I tend to find practical, hands on stuff works well enough. Like, sharpening knives grounds me (it’s my thing, what can I say). If there’s something that normally centers you and lets you kinda hit flow state, that’s the thing to try.

Shit, even something that’s mostly bad for anxiety can work if the ritual of it is calming enough. Like the process of making tea can help despite the caffeine sucking for anxiety.

None of it is easy without a breakthrough option though, and I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass and pretend otherwise. So if you do already have valerian, or an antihistamine, lead with that, but follow up with breathing exercises anyway!

You gotta use a multifaceted approach.

It would work better with Prozac. There’s enough folks that know xanax isn’t an antidepressant, and is instead a depressant in one sense, that it falls flat

I hate to break this to you, but it’s religious nutters all the way up and down. That they’re also sociopathic fuckwads is just coincidence

The question in the title is essentially unanswerable. It’s not even possible to point to where an awareness of attraction as opposed to just existing started, or if there even was a starting point.

That being said, chances are that it began at the same point as humans became self aware. Most mammals and plenty of other critters put some degree or another of energy into maximizing their presentation, even if only during mating season.

At some point, any creature that becomes self aware is also going to start seeing the benefits of caring about that.

I suspect you’d be looking at somewhere before homo sapiens, but after whatever “missing link”. Not that I’m confident in the whole idea of a missing link, but that’s tangential. What isn’t tangential is that a lot of the early human-ish critters exhibited signs of self awareness to some degree, so I can’t imagine that sapiens were the first to have it. I seem to recall there being primitive equivalents to combs and such as far back as like ,habilis? Don’t bet money on my memory though

Objectively ugly is almost an oxymoron, but, the multipla comes as close as it gets by violating damn near every design principle I ever learned lol.

And I like it because it defies conventional design paradigms in favor of practicality and ended up being iconic in its own way. If they were to be available here in the states, as a hybrid or electric, and didn’t engage in the fuckery with transmitting everything you do, I’d actually prefer one over many prettier options.

The only way to vet a mod is their history.

Be that user history, or communities they’ve modded. There’s no short cuts, other than delegation. But, you know, that takes having other mods, or at least people you trust to do the work.

That’ll do it!

Look, I enjoy their presence on lemmy, but how in the holy hell did you learn anything from them?

Shit, I think I was the weird kid