I was going to post this as a comment, but it was in an anarchism community, and I figured some sections of it might be unacceptable there. Hence, new post.

Here’s a guideline of how to interact with cops. There are more or less three modes, depending on your read of the situation. Cops are not always the enemy or the maniacal whole-job-is-making-evil thugs that Lemmy sometimes makes them out to be. It really is bad for people to get mugged or their cars broken into, and they’re the solution our society has come up with to minimize the amount of it that happens. It’s not always a bad thing.

If you find yourself talking to the cops, there are more or less three ways:

  • They’re there to solve a real problem. Someone’s car got broken into, someone got beat up. Just talk with them. Tell them what you know, help them figure out the situation. In almost all of the US, their effect on the problem will be positive, and it’ll be a lot more positive if they have a good grasp of what happened. If, in your opinion, the person they’re trying to catch really did do something that warrants a law enforcement response, then give them a hand. Use your judgement as to whether that’s warranted of course, and your impression of the justice level in your local area, since it varies quite a lot in the US.
  • They’re there for you. Shut the fuck up. Don’t say a goddamned word. It doesn’t even matter if you didn’t do it. Don’t explain. Shut the fuck up. Be polite, obey lawful orders, definitely don’t fight them or you’ll get a felony and might also get injured or worse, but tell them that if you’re suspected of a crime, then you’d like to talk to a lawyer, and you have nothing else to say. And then, shut the fuck up and cooperate. Maybe you want to go as far as “Were you shoplifting?” “What? No. That wasn’t me, man.” But any further explanation than that, just leave it alone. Definitely don’t make something up on the spot, to make yourself sound innocent, if you did do it. For the love of God, don’t do that.
  • They’re there for someone who didn’t do anything wrong. The reason for this post is, anything and everything with ICE and immigration falls into this category. Some things with local cops will, also. Just be unhelpful and simple. No, I didn’t see anything. I don’t know. I’m not sure. Be vague. Don’t get creative, keep it simple, don’t refuse to give your ID or otherwise antagonize them or commit minor crimes of obstruction, but just do your best imitation of someone who just fell from the sky. “So you’ve NEVER MET your neighbor. Your neighbor across the hall.” “Nope.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I don’t know.” “I mean, she gave us your name, she said she’d talked to you.” “I don’t know, I don’t remember that.” Don’t embellish. Don’t explain why. Just calmly let the silence linger and the pressure build up, without adding extra words.

Like I said, everything with ICE or other immigration authorities falls into the third category. No exceptions. Everything. The same applies with any type of federal law enforcement, I suspect, for the next few years.

  • essteeyou@lemmy.world
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    14 hours ago

    “Why did you pull me over?”

    “Sir, we’re here because your house was robbed.”

    “I’m not discussing my day”

    “So you can’t tell me what was stolen and don’t want a police report for your insurance?”

    “Am I being detained or am I free to go?”

    “You’re in your house, sir.”

    • Skates@feddit.nl
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      6 hours ago

      “Why did you pull me over?”

      “Sir, we’re here because your house was robbed.”

      Fake af. When your house is robbed, you can go fuck yourself - your shit is gone unless you’ve got GPS trackers in it. Here’s a more likely scenario:

      “Why did you pull me over?”

      “4 years ago you filed a report that your house was robbed. This is now becoming a problem, as people have noticed we do nothing for society, and your report is adding to that statistic. Would you like to close it, or shall we go ahead and process that broken taillight?”

      “what broken taillight?”

      “down on the ground! I said down!” <sounds of gunshots hitting car, sounds of body hitting steering wheel, sounds of prolonged honking, sounds of thin blue line erections, sounds of coke being sprinkled>