Diuretic diet. It works, but your piss will be brown at the end. Removing all the glycogen and water from your system can lose you over 5 pounds in a few days, but it won’t change your shape.
I mean, there’s nothing preventing people from drinking water as part of this diet…
Hilariously enough, it’s really a very basic, boozy ketogenic diet.
You’ll lose a lot of water-weight in the first few days regardless, as you deplete your glycogen stores; the caffeine, alcohol and lack of carbohydrates should help keep satiety (lack of hunger pangs).
I challenge you to stay hydrated while drinking coffee with every meal and a whole bottle of wine.
I’m probably the wrong person to challenge, and an exception to the rule! 😅
I drink ~4L (a gallon) of fluids daily; half of which is still/sparkling water, the other half being a mixture of coffee, tea, pre-workout, BCAAs, kombucha, soda, booze.
It was a habit I picked up to help me get used to OMAD when I was cutting weight in the first couple of years of my diet, and is a habit that’s stuck with me since.
I have to go to the bathroom often - which is a downside, but at least I never get a hangover after a night out drinking!
Anyone actually doing something like that has a problem.
We all have problems.
eating disorders have been around forever :( we just have the language to describe it now
I must add, the gas I would produce on this diet would for sure violate the Geneva Suggestions
“We highly recommend gassing civilians indiscriminately is like probably not really the best idea.”
Geneva Suggestions
Found the account of US government
No, they now consider them the Geneva aggressions. As in how dare those Genoese tell us not to do something, we should invade Sweden over it. /s
My uncle has an enforced limit on deviled eggs at family gatherings for similar reasons.
username checks out.
Sgt Johnson: “Master Chief, use the space lasers!”
John: “wookie battle cry”
Found the Canadian. “It’s never a war crime the first time”.
Excellent reference. I think about this at least once per week.
tummy ache city
I would absolutely vomit on this diet.
That’ll help with your figure even more!
I guess that’s the point? Besides, it’s only three days
I’m pretty sure fasting for 3 days would have the same weight loss effect and be healthier.
Or just do the sort of liquid diet that you need to do before a colonoscopy or something like that.
Pro Tip: For an even quicker result, drink a cup of tequila right before bed. The agave’s thermogenic properties will ensure that you puke those 3 eggs and half a stake right out.
Fun fact: Nikola Tesla suggested to drink a bit of… burbon or the like before bed.
He also had to walk around a building a 3 times before entering. It’s a wonder he got anything done.
Every innovator of the early 20th century was a mentally ill alcoholic.
Did you die yet?
(one bottle allowed per day)
My doctor thinks that’s reasonable. French in his sixties.
To be fair they had the whole “I’m not drinking more than one Litre of wine per day!” in the nineties (maybe eighties), pronounced by popular actors and so.
there was also the “french are having less coronary diseases that must be because of wine!” craze as well, which I think has been recently debunked. not that there is anything wrong with a good glass of red wine, it is just not a substitute for genetic luck, healthy diet and brisk walking when it comes to coronary health.
This must have been written by Hunter Thompson
Hunter Thompson’s routine according to E. Jean Carroll:
3:00 p.m. rise
3:05 Chivas Regal with the morning papers, Dunhills
3:45 cocaine
3:50 another glass of Chivas, Dunhill
4:05 first cup of coffee, Dunhill
4:15 cocaine
4:16 orange juice, Dunhill
4:30 cocaine
4:54 cocaine
5:05 cocaine
5:11 coffee, Dunhills
5:30 more ice in the Chivas
5:45 cocaine, etc., etc.
6:00 grass to take the edge off the day
7:05 Woody Creek Tavern for lunch-Heineken, two margaritas, coleslaw, a taco salad, a double order of fried onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, a bean fritter, Dunhills, another Heineken, cocaine, and for the ride home, a snow cone (a glass of shredded ice over which is poured three or four jiggers of Chivas)
9:00 starts snorting cocaine seriously
10:00 drops acid
11:00 Chartreuse, cocaine, grass
11:30 cocaine, etc, etc.
12:00 midnight, Hunter S. Thompson is ready to write
12:05-6:00 a.m. Chartreuse, cocaine, grass, Chivas, coffee, Heineken, clove cigarettes, grapefruit, Dunhills, orange juice, gin, continuous pornographic movies.
6:00 the hot tub-champagne, Dove Bars, fettuccine Alfredo
8:00 Halcyon
8:20 sleep
Some people are just built different. This is a man who despite all this managed to function and be a damn good writer. I was somewhat incapacitated yesterday thanks to my decision on Saturday to have a third whiskey sour while out with friends. He was out there starting his day with a chemical combo that made my friends have to check my eyes for jaundice in my early 20s.
The most normal and believable part of this to me is dropping acid 2 hours before starting to write.
For those wondering, Halcyon is a benzo like Xanax and likely the only reason this guy had any chance at slumber.
Also, everyone should try hot tub champagne at least once, or it’s low rent cousin the shower beer. Something about a cold bubbly beverage in a hot steamy environment enhances both pleasure.
A big fan of getting high af, putting on a kick ass album, and drinking a shower beer.
Also, everyone should try hot tub champagne at least once, or it’s low rent cousin the shower beer. Something about a cold bubbly beverage in a hot steamy environment enhances both pleasure.
Sort of related but I’ve always wanted to rent a chalet at a ski resort with an outdoor hot tub so I can be outside in the freezing cold, while sitting in a hot tub, whole sipping a cold beer.
It’s like giving a middle finger to thermodynamics itself.
I went to a hot spring in Colorado that was like this. The steamy water flowed out of the side of a hill and trickled down to numerous pools at various temperatures. There was snow everywhere and an absolutely frigid creek right next to the hot spring pools. Steam rose from the piping hot water obscuring anything more than 10 feet away. Clothing optional after dark. Beers stayed cold because the air was below freezing.
Getting used to the hot spring temperature, going for a quick dip in the below freezing creek water, then back to the hot spring, was quite an experience. I don’t think my nerves could handle the violent change in temperature. When you’d switch either way it was like getting simultaneous burned and frozen with hot ice for a few moments until your nerves could catch up to reality.
Pretty sure I’d be dead by 11:30
Yeah at 6:05 I’d be vomiting profusely as the world spins around me.
grass to take the edge off the day
At this point, he’s been awake for 3 hours.
DIET: WINE AND EGGS
Steak
Not a veggie in sight, so your whole digestive motility was based on alcoholic diarrhea. (Been there…)
So fashionable to shit yourself in public in white dresses.
As God intended
Also nothing but protein and a smidge of fat. The only carbs you get is the little bit of sugar in the wine, but considering it recommends dry wine that’s not much. I bet you’d have the worst headache of your life by day three.
A lot of fat too. Eggs and steak are high fat, especially high saturated fat.
What, no cigarettes?
It was the 70s. The average Vogue reader was assumed to be smoking a pack of Virginia Slims a day.
‘You’ve come a long way, baby!’
People eat way worse than this and manage to live through it (for a while).
Sponsored by a wine maker. A bottle of wine a day - jeeze.
Lemon juice at dinner guarantees that you reach max level of heartburn, if not yet.
The first time I ever experienced heartburn, it was so bad that I felt like a chestburster alien was trying to come out. I was absolutely desperate and immediately started trying the home remedies, none of which did shit.
I went to the doctor later and I was like, “This cannot be heartburn. I’ve seen the heartburn commercials and this is so much worse. And the commercials all have old men with heartburn.”
Surprise! Chronic heartburn started as a 22-year-old woman.
One of many reasons that medications should not be allowed to be advertised on TV.
I had horrible heartburn throughout my 20s and into my 30s. Mentioned it to every doctor. It would keep me up at night. It would hurt like a bitch and I’d often feel like i was throwing up. One new doctor was like, “you ever try a food allergen panel?”
Turns out, I’m allergic to caesin. It’s a protein in pretty much all dairy. Stopped having dairy products and heartburn is 99% gone.
Moral of the story: heartburn can be caused by a tonne of reasons and it’s hard to pinpoint if there’s even something concrete to even point to
Man, you are so lucky that you had a specific cause found. I’m sorry it was such a common cause and that you have to avoid things like cheese, but I’ve gone through a bunch of panels and diets and never found anything, so it would be a pretty great if I could just find a specific trigger.
I have managed to find a few triggers, like mushrooms, brassicas, and fatty foods. Of course, I’m so into mushrooms and brassicas that I have spent years mushroom hunting and growing brassicas hydroponically, so that was great to learn.
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I had heartburn when I started eating really unhealthily and putting off exercise around the time before I went vegan. Because I didn’t know what I was doing at first I dropped a ton of weight, then gained some of it back when I discovered the array of processed vegan junk food.
I rarely get it now (despite eating super spicy foods constantly) but when I do it’s after I haven’t been active for awhile—in other words when I start getting fat.
Mine was set off by drinking a lot of tea and then never went away.
