• Atropos@lemmy.world
    149·
    1 年前

    I saw a great one yesterday.

    Question: Help, I can’t boot, here’s the error code. I’m stuck in a loop and can’t get into windows.

    Answer: Open Microsoft explorer, navigate to…

    • BigDaddySlim@lemmy.worldEnglish
      3·
      1 年前

      Actually I had an issue where trying to sign into my samba share caused explorer.exe to crash constantly, running sfc /scannow fixed it surprisingly. Glad that’s on my “these programs only work on Windows” system.

    • Jesus_666@lemmy.world
      43·
      1 年前

      sfc /scannow does fix certain problems, just not nearly as many as the Microsoft support forum would like.

      I do agree with you on the log, although that’s often because whichever component is misbehaving just doesn’t believe in error logs. I’m looking at you, Nvidia.

    • Sabata@ani.social
      20·
      1 年前

      DISM /Online /Cleanup-Image /RestoreHealth and pray it fixes everything before you reinstall.

    • kattfisk@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      6·
      1 年前

      It’s at the level where, after spending hours there, I feel like it has to be a conspiracy to waste your time. Because there is no way there could organically be that many posts about a topic without there being any useful or correct information.

    • floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      29·
      1 年前

      sfc /scannow and the troubleshooting button in the settings do fuck all

      Hey, that’s not true! sfc takes forever to run, so it’s a good way to waste time and get even more frustrated.

  • MithranArkanere@lemmy.world
    38·
    1 年前

    Even more infuriating are those messages marked [FIXED] when the freaking post had a negative response or no response at all from the user.
    Those forums should be full of endless posts marked [PENDING] or [EXPIRED].

      • MithranArkanere@lemmy.world
        2·
        1 年前

        That makes it sound like the fault is on the user side.
        When there’s no interaction it’s usually because the user gave up.
        The marker should be something that makes it clear that the responses were not helpful.

  • Possibly linux@lemmy.zipEnglish
    84·
    1 年前

    I’m John from Microsoft and I have over 25 years of experience.

    Please update your drivers and run run sfc /scannow.

    I hope that helps,

    John

  • DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world
    51·
    1 年前

    The most pissing thing is that the Microsoft “support” forum is always the top search result. Sometimes it occupies 5 or more of the top search results.

    …but I haven’t had to deal with that since I switched to Linux last year, so…yay!

  • HStone32@lemmy.world
    4·
    1 年前

    The entire thread is hilarious.

    “I had to remove my laptop’s battery, now Windows won’t update.”

    “Are you using a laptop or desktop?”

    “I said I am using a laptop without a battery.”

    “Please share a screenshot of your device manager, so I can make sure whether or not you are using a laptop or desktop.”

    “Fine.” (Posts screenshot)

    “According to your screenshot, you are using a laptop, and it has a battery in it. Please charge the battery to 40%.”

    “That’s it. I’m using Linux.”

  • borax7385@lemmy.world
    27·
    1 年前

    Very accurate 😂

    Man, I hate all the boilerplate that Microsoft uses in their documentation, it’s a pain to read anything.

  • Honytawk@lemmy.zipEnglish
    1410·
    1 年前

    Does it solve whatever Windows problem they were having?

    No? Then it is not helpful.

    It is like asking for help to fix a hole in your pants, and someone replies with “just buy a skirt”.

    I’ve replied to someone having a problem with Linux to just install Windows. It is the exact same useless vibe.

    • Dran@lemmy.world
      12·
      1 年前

      Just think, an extra long shirt can cover that hole, and we could embed a flexible display, wifi module, and a camera in the extra space. This could scan the faces of those around you, and display personalized ads! This is an excellent solution to the hole in your pants, and frankly, the only secure one.

    • Rentlar@lemmy.ca
      40·
      1 年前

      Well it is more like your ceiling is leaking from the apartment above and your landlord ain’t doing shit. Installing Linux would be like moving out to another apartment or home. Even if it doesn’t fix the leak the problem is now gone for you.

      • Honytawk@lemmy.zipEnglish
        32·
        1 年前

        Ok, but what if the problem was that you didn’t like the door color and you weren’t allowed to paint it because of your landlord.

        Are you still going to move your entire life to a different location?

        Most problems on the Microsoft forums aren’t going to explode their computers.

        • Rentlar@lemmy.ca
          13·
          1 年前

          It has to be something that is nearly fully outside your control but is affecting you, there are probably milder problems as examples but I think this apt.

          In the metaphor, half of the answers are asking you to do a useless workaround, blame you and/or are irrelevant to solving the problem. Hence the leak, where the answers are telling you to try running your taps for 10 minutes, put a bucket under the leak, telling you that there is no leak and that’s actually a water fountain, etc.

        • Cenzorrll@lemmy.world
          10·
          1 年前

          I don’t think that’s a great comparison. You’re most likely never allowed to paint your door. I would say it’s more like curtains, your apartment has proprietary curtain rods, that you can’t put your own curtains on for some reason, so you ask all your neighbors how to change them. They respond with “have you tried opening and closing your curtains yet?”, “Try vacuuming them to get the dust off”. Then you finally get a hold of the landlord and they say you can’t replace them.

    • rtxn@lemmy.worldM
      202·
      1 年前

      Are they still experiencing whatever problem they were having?

      No? Then it is a solution. Not the solution, and not a possible solution for everyone, but it is a solution.

      • Honytawk@lemmy.zipEnglish
        25·
        1 年前

        So what you are saying is that if someone has a problem with Linux, replying with “just install Windows” is a valid fix?

        You “fixed” the issue by giving them 10 more problems.

        Are you also giving them alternatives to all the software they use daily that isn’t compatible with Linux?

        What if they have hardware that is incompatible? Like Nvidea and certain printers?

        You are essentially telling them to rip out everything and start anew. Which just isn’t feasible or even necessary when they just have one problem.

        So no, you did not fix anything.

        • Miaou@jlai.lu
          1·
          1 年前

          TIL that millions are spent buying nvidia hardware but none of those companies can actually use them

        • rtxn@lemmy.worldM
          14·
          1 年前

          Did you completely miss the part where I said “Not the solution, and not a possible solution for everyone, but it is a solution”? I don’t know what you think the usual troubleshooting process is, but it doesn’t start with “uninstall Windows”. Obviously the user was sufficiently intelligent to consider the advantages and disadvantages of switching, and based on that information, chose a course of action that they thought was correct, and it ended up being the solution to their issue.

          I don’t know how else I can spell it out for you. Computer users are not dumbasses. They have agency over their own actions.

  • cley_faye@lemmy.world
    56·
    1 年前

    The microsoft forums are the one place that could be fully automatized. You post a problem about anything, really anything. Can’t change wallpaper? Can’t login? Screen flashing? Files disappearing? Constant loud pitched noise? It’s all the same. The answer, whatever your issue, is sfc /scannow, “Restoration point” and “Reinstall”.

    And arguably, that last step will most likely make the issue go away, at the price of not having a fucking clue as to what was wrong, losing a lot of time afterward, and having a fair chance of re-doing the same things, causing the issue to show up again. Great stuff.

  • mlg@lemmy.worldEnglish
    20·
    1 年前

    I said this before on another thread, but the only time sfc /scannow actually did something was when I had a machine with a drive that had a few bad blocks.

    And of course it didn’t actually fix anything because a system DLL was corrupt so DISM couldn’t even repair the system, meaning the only solution was to reinstall windows.

    • dalekcaan@lemm.ee
      11·
      1 年前

      “What about DropBox? It’s this recent startup…”

      Man, sometimes I forget how long xkcd’s been going

  • smeg@feddit.ukEnglish
    29·
    1 年前

    Saw one earlier today where the “community support” person opened with “please make sure you have applied all Windows updates”. Given that it was a web page issue and I was on my phone I didn’t mark this reply as helpful.

  • Lojcs@lemm.ee
    60·
    1 年前

    This is a huge upside of Linux. When something breaks you can make a web search and learn how to fix it, or that it’s unfixable. On windows you make a search and all you get is this bs and seo article spam

    • andros_rex@lemmy.world
      3·
      1 年前

      Also - not just when something breaks? Like, you want to change the color of something, an icon, the default response to a key bind or behavior…. There are so many times when I’m forced to use commercial software and there’s some inane extra thing that is messing up my work flow, and there’s no way to change it.

      My Arch machine has only the things I want on it. I don’t have to dig into registry keys to disable Cortana or whatever. When I’m running on poverty hardware, dwm/xmonad are bare enough DEs that I can internet browsers smooth and fast.

      Linux will let you do whatever you want as long as you are smart/determined to spend hours googling.

    • gwilikers@lemmy.ml
      8·
      1 年前

      or that it’s unfixable

      Just out of interest. What are some of these unfixable issues?