What else would happen in Heck?
No matter how often you cut your fingernails, they are always just too long and there is always dirt under them.
One of the keys of your password to start the computer doesn’t work, but it’s always a different one each time.
Every time you want to take a nap, there’s a leaf blower starting under your window.
Having to listen to that one family member complain about their job and they tell you that it won’t work when you give them the simple solution.
No email or chat. All work communication are through scheduled face to face meetings.
Whenever you talk, someone interrupts.
Lunchroom conversations are all politics, all the time.
You always finish your snacks while thinking there’s one more handful.
Your sister-in-law is eternally staying for a few days.
They’re never chocolate chips. They’re always raisins.
They’re never chocolate chips. They’re always raisins.
This is dangerously close to Hell territory.
You get papercuts way more often.
Also that little splinter gets under your nail way more often too.
Every show you ever watch will be really interesting and engaging ending on a giant season 1 cliffhanger and will be canceled never having a followup episode.
RIP “The Society”
TIL Netflix runs Heck.
Slightly related, Netflix has a show called Exploding Kittens that runs vaguely on this premise.
whether 🏴☠️ is involved or not is none of my business
You have to use AI as an intermediary to speak to anyone.
With auto correct enabled? Oh wait, that’s for hell not heck.
You always pick the slowest line to queue in
The chance of you biting your cheek is 51% each time you eat and you are guaranteed to keep biting the same place for max recovery time
Every charging cable you use has a loose connection that isn’t evident until later when you need to use your device and the battery is dead
Every fart is a gamble
This is my normal life.
Welcome to Heck.
Ruled by Sathan
I’d take Satan over this.
Rubber undies. It doesn’t really help with the mess, but the farts sound funnier
You get to have your entire music playlist, but every song slowly shifts in and out of tune.
You have to eat cereal at every meal, but the milk goes from nice and cold to warm the moment you pour it, and the cereal also instantly turns soggy.
The only TV shows nothing but Calgary vs Vancouver hockey games. (actually this might be hell)
Right as you get comfortable in bed, you can’t remember whether you left something out of the fridge or started the dishwasher.
My wife makes me turn around and come home to be sure she unplugged the iron and/or turned off the stove.
You’re already in Heck!
You can never remember if you set your alarm
And that’s how I’m constantly asking, “Hey Google, what time is my alarm set for?”
Thanks, mine was off.
Everytime you reach for the last cookie you find the bag empty.
Every time you eat something, some food getd stuck in your teeth and you can’t get it out for hours.
Washing dishes, the cloth is always dirty
Every time you undo your seatbelt, the belf doesn’t retract properly and you have to fiddle with it for ages, if you try getting out of the car you just get tangled in it
You can only use an old sponge that can’t hold water anymore
Infinite phone tree - Any choice takes you to the next menu tree but 50% chance to take you back to the start. The second menu tree just leads to an infinite array of phone menu trees, each with a 50% chance to go back to the beginning.
Or,
The land moves around at random. Your house (and everyone elses) might be somewhere one day, and in an hours time it’s somewhere else. Good luck making a map.
I imagine the infinite phone tree could be like getting to the “Philosophy” page on Wikipedia. No matter which branch you take, you’re bound to end up in a massive loop that eventually brings you back to the start menu.
You can never get rid of that last dribble of poo
