likely in response to my comments on the beehaw post, which i linked to (hopefully im doing this right?). apparently, calling people you dont know for the first time “they/them” before being told their pronouns is “misgendering”. absurd. this kind of attitude threatens the larger LGBTQ community and is partially why cishets hate us after we won so much progress back in the 00s and 10s.
im a queer person. im neurodivergent. this shit is so goddamn fucking annoying, especially as an older queer who got physically assaulted on a near daily basis for being queer in the 90s. the kids today get their panties in a twist over being supposedly “misgendered” by someone calling them gender neutral pronouns before being corrected. narcissistic victimhood bullshit.
anyways, now banned from one of my favorite instances. meanwhile in the US theyre planning on hunting us. but yeah, lets ban fellow queers over their view that people who get mad about being “misgendered” when they arent (cis people are also referred to as “they/them” before further context in a conversation with a stranger) are just attention seeking brats that threaten the larger movement. its so obvious to me that the brats who find reason to be offended over innocent pronoun use never faced real adversity, like getting repeatedly physically beaten.
edit - the best part of all of this is i faced no moderation from beehaw and all of my comments are +1 or higher. power tripping oversensitive neurodivergent hating bastard of a mod over at blahaj IMO.
edit 2 - did this wrong. heres a link to the post i think got me banned from blahaj and a screenshot about it https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/37659465
Edit 3 - apparently I did nothing wrong until I made my thoughts known about how the pronoun police fucked over the larger LGBTQ community as our rights are backsliding in America. Yall are gonna whine about being misgendered to the concentration camp guards at the rate we’re going. God forbid I be angry that while queers were busy fighting over pronouns our adversaries stuffed the courts, stuffed the school boards, couped the government, and are installing a fascist dictatorship. When I say that these fucking toddlers are going to learn what real oppression tastes like, that’s what I mean. It’s not that I want us to be hurt or oppressed (as the dog piling idiots have interpreted), it’s that the younger generation is weak as hell and lost the fucking plot in the fight for our rights. I grew up getting beaten in the streets for being queer only for these kids to claim their pronouns not being mind-read is oppression!
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People can be poly all they want, it’s not for me. At all. It’s emotionally harmful, traumatizing and makes me feel unsafe. I refuse to date anyone poly which shrinks an already small number of people in my rural area. Claiming I’m a “grandma” is fucking offensive. I need emotional trust in a partner to have sex, and for damn good reasons I do not trust poly people. Ethical they are not. Not in my numerous experiences. They’re delusional about their emotional intelligence. Not just me! I have queer friends with similar bad experiences.
Comparing me to your born again Christian friend is also offensive. I don’t hide who I am. I don’t think queer people should hide who they are. I am not nor have I ever been Christian, not raised in that religion at all.
Demanding emotional trust in a romantic relationship and only finding that trust in naturally monogamous people is not oppression, it’s protecting myself from harm.
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What is ethical monogamist if not a typical committed monogamous relationship where you don’t fuck each other over emotionally?
This is why I’m so heated about the pronoun police finding things to be mad about. It’s in bad faith.
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Don’t take this personally but I don’t trust poly people “choosing” to be mono. That’s a situation I was in.
I believe, like sexuality, it is hardwired. Either you are or you aren’t, and if you’re in your unnatural state for long enough you’ll resent it and go back to your natural state. Whichever it is, I think it goes both ways for poly and mono.
As for point 2 I always discuss this with partners and I’m not poly at all. Better for everyone to be on the same page about expectations.
Oh… Wow. With all due politeness I request that you please cool it with this rhetoric. It is dangerous. The community needs to band together right now. I’m sympathetic for you but this makes you seem hostile and jaded.
Hostile because it’s the TQ busy being the pronoun police. Their tirades are threatening us all.
The entire trans and queer community (which by your word choice elsewhere in the thread you are ostensibly a part of)? The ENTIRETY of it? I say this with respect and with your best interests at heart: get a grip. Take a breather. Scream into a pillow. But don’t be like that.
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No, I’m ranting about the whole community being overtaken with “poly” views, which I don’t have to agree with or accept as a monogamous person whos been used and abused and lied to by so called “ethically” non monogamous people. They can all fuck each other for all I care, but I’m not going to stand for being fucked over.
I used to live in a city. Doesn’t matter where I live, the queer community is only accepting of a certain kind of queer. Which I’m not.
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Calling a queer person homophobic and transphobic because they don’t agree with absurd pronoun policing or polyamory. Classic.
Sorry I’m not one of the cool kids.
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It’s not that I want them to suffer, it’s that they want to be oppressed so bad maybe they should get a taste of what real oppression looks like.
Of the three trans people I know IRL, all of them are in a (from the outside) stable, monogamous relationship. The only poly people I know are cis-het.
Let’s consider that bias influences what we see and want to see.
I’m a women who dates AFAB women. They’re all fucking poly in this area. And dishonest.
That’s the LGTBQ community in vermont. Note ALL the letters. A giant poly cesspool of people who have zero desire for a traditional committed relationship. But they’ll lead you on and tell you otherwise!
I’m allowed to not like it or agree with it. I find it emotionally dangerous and ive been traumatized numerous times by these people.