Summary
Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem has ordered lie detector tests for DHS staff to identify leaks that allegedly foiled immigration raids, including a failed Colorado operation targeting Venezuelan gang members.
The directive, leaked to Bloomberg, requires polygraph questions about unauthorized communications with media and nonprofits. Despite polygraphs’ unreliability, DHS insists they are necessary for national security.
The crackdown follows frustration from Trump’s border czar Tom Homan over compromised raids and aligns with broader MAGA-era efforts to control government communication.
Does this dumb bitch understand that lie detector tests don’t work?
I’ve lied on exactly two tests and still passed. The only two I’ve ever taken. So that’s a 100% failure rate for lie detector tests from my perspective.
Meanwhile, I’ve told the absolute truth and failed. Polygraphs are dumb as shit.
I’m pretty sure I’d fail one. I have some issues if I get interrogated I just look guilty I guess.
Polygraphs terrify me, I’ve never had to do one, but I know I’m always holding in huge waves of anxiety and paranoia. Which you know is all lie detector tests do, is read signs of nervousness. Hence they have a high false positive amoung people who are anxious and are completely unable to detect anything on psychopaths and people with strong emotional control (as well as those who have learned tricks to game the system… (IE methods to make symptoms show stronger on the baseline questions so that you can lessen them on questions you are lying during).
Honestly, that’s all they’re good for: creating paranoia/terror/nervousness in the subject. Go read the ‘how to beat a polygraph’ book. Knowledge is calming.
Also? It’s not anything to do with symptoms showing stronger on baseline questions. The only big giveaway is breathing. I work in the medical field. Blood pressure, heart rate, bla bla bla… they all vary with frequencies and magnitudes that don’t allow them to be filtered from responses that do signify anything. The only vital sign that has a low enough rate for changes to really be detected is how often you take a breath. If you control that, the game is over. A really observant tester watching a testee attempting (poorly) to mask breathing rate may notice something is off, but it’s still a judgement call whether it’s due to nervousness and the attempt to calm down, or actual deception.
The best way to ‘pass’ a polygraph is to be just nice/cute enough to get the tester to like you somewhat, and then control your breathing. The proper test has them talking to you for at least a half hour beforehand so they can ‘get an idea’ about you, so you have plenty of time to be friendly. Take advantage of that. There is some nice research out there about self-disclosures and their effect on being liked. If they see a pattern that could be you being nervous, could be you trying to deceive, being liked will tip them towards the kinder perception.
Lol i would absolutely bomb a polygraph, nervous as fuck, cant breath for shit (deviated septum, severe allergies, probably sleep apnea)
Polygraphs are a tool for interrogations. It cannot detect lies. You can easily get around them, just read The Lie Behind The Lie Detector.
Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza
The card said moops
It’s a lie if the person interpreting the test says it is.
Dhs should take the classes the inventor of the lie detector offers on how to beat it
Why is Noem wearing a bulletproof vest in a staff meeting?
Funniest thing about that is they only help in an all-out fire fight to protect your vital bits except the head which would have a helmet. She’s not going into any situation nearly so dangerous and if someone wanted to take her out, specifically, there’s plenty of options.
She might as well have a mall ninja sword strapped to her back.
She might as well have a mall ninja sword strapped to her back.
If we get nothing else from this shitshow, let it be this.
She wants to feel special
She’s a very serious person with very serious things going on! /s
She’s worried someone will put her down like she did her dog
and her 3 horses. she has a natural fear of gravel pits, or any dugout pits.
You ever seen the dictator warlords constantly wearing miliary gear with too much polish and a thousand made up medals?
That’s why.
She’s LARPing.
Which is why she’s ordered the lie detectors. They only know what they see in the movies, and lie detectors are one of their favorite devices.
Realistic assessment of the mood of people forced to be around her?
It’s a thing about the nervous systems of old world primates, like us, we’re always making those assessments.
Maybe ICE ordered a bunch of pizza the night before and the delivery kid tipped people off.
Honestly ya may not be far off, humans even profligates like those in Trumps orbit have a generally good enough ability to detect when folks are pissed at them. When said pissed folks have access to weapons, are more intelligent than you, and probably think what you are saying is beyond stupid then well wearing a comfort vest is probably the only thing keeping her from booking it out of the room.
maybe animals lovers might not like her.
Cuz she’s a bitch and she expects what she did to that dog
That is the single most ridiculous picture I’ve seen all week.
And that’s saying something.
Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it. - George Costanza
- Is thedailybeast.com considered a reputable news source?
- To snuff out is to kill; usually murder. Did the author mean sniff out?
I think it’s meant to “snuff out” as in “kill” the leaks, not necessarily the perpetrators. Like, we’re gonna do this to end the leaks. The wording is somewhat awkward and questionable, but not necessarily incorrect. Snuff out is used to refer to extinguishing candles, so it’s not unheard of to use it in contexts other than ending human lives.
I see your line of thinking, but let’s also remember that polygraphs wouldn’t end leaks even if they really were lie detectors. The most they could do in that fictional scenario would be to reveal the leaks; to sniff them out. To snuff them out would require some additional, separate action.
Also snuff out applies to candles only because the snuff is literally part of a candle’s wick. The phrase is not being used literally here, which leaves us with the common non-literal meaning: to murder.
I still think the most charitable interpretation is that author confused it with sniff out, and failed to consider the grisly meaning of what they wrote.
If you want to go the linguistic history route, “snuff” literally meant “to sniff at in order to examine” starting in 1810, so it’s technically (the best kind of?) correct to use it in this context, although still awkward in terms of modern colloquialisms.
I’m going as far back as the 1400s, and your 1810 usage doesn’t match any common meaning of “snuff out”, so I don’t think it really applies here. But thanks for the interesting etymological diversion. :)
In any case, polygraphs still cannot put an end to leaks, so I stand by my original interpretation.
And I stand by mine, as “snuff something out” in the modern Cambridge dictionary is “to cause to end suddenly,” and of course that’s what they’re trying to do by using a polygraph as “evidence” (which it’s not going to accomplish, but that doesn’t stop attempted improper usage of the device). Their approach (as in many things) is horribly wrong, but the reporter’s word usage is not improper.
They’d be just as successful using a ouija board.
What makes you think they want to successful? They probably already identified their scapegoat, and just want to add a veneer of “proof”
As long as they got their Luigi board from a witch, or a vegan.
Period question mark
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Scientology taught me that lie detectors are fake. We should use E Meters instead
“This isn’t a game,” Homan raged to the Associated Press. “We know that TDA is dangerous. Everybody can agree to that, but when they get a heads-up that we are coming, it’s only a matter of time before our officers are ambushed. Their job is dangerous enough. So we are going to address this very seriously.”
I don’t think that leaking this is a good idea, but come on. If gangs find out in advance that they’re about to be raided, are they going to disappear or seriously voluntarily going to stay and have a shootout with DHS?
Like, this can certainly mess up investigations, but I have a pretty hard time believing that it’s going to get DHS agents killed.
What’s the betting that this is the result of indiscreet dick waving from more MAGA centred members of staff?
Oooh, when do we get to deploy the E-Meters?
I’m going to sell divining rods to help find the immigrants.
I’m holding out for the testicle electrodes.
I have a device to sell to the DHS: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADE_651
Despite polygraphs’ unreliability, DHS insists they are necessary for national security.
in keeping with tradition, “national security” continues to mean “because i say so”.
All the kings horses
and all the kings men
Couldn’t make Americans think
cops were bad again
