A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.

Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky “We… we… I… found-” before Glassgow cuts her off.

“Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan.”

Whelp…

Alcoholism.

Inviting my Farmville girlfriend over.

I’m not sure of the details but hazmat will be involved and it’ll probably make the news.

mildly, nothing extreme

I dont’t know lulz

In the middle of the night with nary a sound to be heard.

Derogatory slur

Ummmm I get smothered maybe? Idk or they rise up in numbers and kill me some other way.

Drive errors would pile up on critical systems because they didn’t filesystem check themselves before they filesystem wrecked themselves

Brake failure on a mountain road.

I don’t think its widely used anymore

Strangled by my hoodie?

Likely it would be from a lethal dose of radiation I would endure while fixing a warp drive that was desperately needed.