What you do in private does not necessarily reflect who you are in public. And who you are in public, does not necessarily reflect who you are in private either.
But makes a very big difference. Talking bad things about someone publicly is not okay, and the whistleblower is doing the right thing. Well, mostly. It’s not really cool that now the private messages are shared with even more people!
Talking about anything privately is a private discussion and as such, not a huge problem. Sharing someone’s private messages with a group with more than two or three members is already public to an extent.
was the entire “secret” group chat dedicated to making fun of people though? That’s the thing we don’t know, it just seems like a fairly active, long running group chat, with a number of distasteful posts made over time.
If you have a secret group chat where you make fun of your friends behind their backs, then you’re an awful piece of shit. I don’t care if it’s not solely dedicated to making fun of people. If you do it enough that your friend group ostracizes you when they find out, then you deserve to be ostracized. Why are you defending this behavior? Do you do this?
Then it’s not behind their back. That’s the bad part here. It’s not making fun of your friends, it’s secretly making fun of your friends. That’s the difference between “all in good fun” and “being an asshole”.
Realistically I don’t think we have enough information to judge fairly. The person is probably minimising what they did, and if that is the case may well have deserved it. But we don’t actually know what was said.
that is true, but i think this is a definite “everybody sucks” type of post.
I’m also not sure that derek needed to leak this either, especially going back like 5 years, that’s pretty unhinged. Even a “yeah i don’t like those guys i joined the group chat and it was 💀” is going to be enough to clue most people in.
lmfao what a fucking excuse of a reason.
i hope you know i hate you. not hyperbole. i hope everyone else knows i hate you too. like genuinely, and actually; blatantly being a terrible person like you are is a large part of what is wrong with the world and i despise every single one of you chucklefucks that inches us ever further away from common decency, day by day. life isnt some fucking game.
do you recognize you’re doing olympic level mental gymnastics throughout these comments in order to make the people you identify with in the internet story the good guys or are you just incredibly dense and/or like fucking with people for kicks?
To the people who think what OP did was completely normal and something everyone does, (and I hate to use this phrase) check the “ratio” here. Nobody thinks this is normal. You and OP are in the slim minority spewing vile shit about people in your lives. It’s cruel and childish. You’d be smart to learn from OP’s predicament before you find yourself in the exact same situation with everyone you know hating you because you thought it was perfectly normal to constantly trash talk them behind their back. It’s not normal. Not everyone is doing it. Assholes like OP and apparently yourself are doing it. And it clearly can bite you in the ass. As I said in my initial comment, these kinds of things can have serious real world consequences. So you may wanna wise up and start being a respectable human being ;)
my only disagreement is that unfortunately they’ve succeeded in pushing the overton window so hard that the ratio is actually much more controversial than the comment implies. if only every edgelord here read and seriously considered this person’s reply.
no actually, i’m done sitting and acting like that sort of shit is acceptable, no thanks.
paradox of tolerance demands you completely and decisively shut these fucks down before they takeover your society with their shitty ass rhetoric of hate. i’d rather it begin and end here on a dinky little internet forum than 15 years down the line in another gettysburg. i won’t aid and abet in the breakdown of common norms and decency, as you so kindly suggested.
Paradox of tolerance demands nothing, it is a concept that suggests some level of intolerance is required to protect overall tolerance. I don’t think it even applies here since those guys weren’t being intolerant, just despicable among themselves.
Methinks you picked that up as a buzzword to indicate and justify any time you think intolerance is called for, which is unnecessary in this case because they’re just being vile assholes that you can choose to scorn.
they start like this. then they become shitty, abusive incels in adulthood. then they vote for people like the cadre of neofascist in western politics rn.
the incel to fascist pipeline is real and dangerous. and i won’t act like those who fall down it are victims and not complicit monsters anymore.
Unfortunately i will sleep well knowing that i don’t engage in shitty behavior with people, and that i just simply do not care about shit like this that much.
do you recognize you’re doing olympic level mental gymnastics throughout these comments in order to make the people you identify with in the internet story the good guys or are you just incredibly dense and/or like fucking with people for kicks?
i don’t like anybody here, all of these people sound like assholes, some of them stuck up their own asses, others a bit too unfiltered for their own good. But we also don’t know the full extent of the conversation and fallout from this, so who knows what actually happened.
Regardless if derek wanted to make the point that these people weren’t great, he didn’t need to leak messages, especially not 5 year old ones. He put as much effort as possible into destroying this friend group, and i wouldn’t be surprised if this is regular behavior from him. People like that use it to their advantage, only to fuck over people later in their lives by doing the same shit lmao.
Anybody willing to without permission leak shit like is asking for trouble, legally or not.
this is a fair point, i don’t disagree. it’s valid to call me out on conflating ideas of common decency with absolute morality.
that said, there are certain things that if you do; definitely make you a bad person. i think to the recently viral tweet of the ivy league ethics & philosophy professor who was absolutely aghast at incoming students’ ideas of morality. it speaks to the problem in this thread.
seriously jesus fucking christ what about this in particular is making it such a good litmus test to root out shitty people? they’re all just immediately, unironically, unabashedly identifying themselves in the comments here, just like that lmfao.
What about the people on the group chat who were disrespecting other people’s right to privacy by sharing private mesaages and pictures? It’s cool when they do it?
See, you misunderstand. You must either be enraged that there was a snitch, or uphold them as a paragon of justice. There is no nuance on the internet. Silly person.
Derek sounds like a cool guy.
derek sounds like a dick.
What you do in private does not necessarily reflect who you are in public. And who you are in public, does not necessarily reflect who you are in private either.
This was not private. This was a group of assholes laughing behind their friends’ backs at their expense. It was secret, but not private.
That is a very pedantic response.
But makes a very big difference. Talking bad things about someone publicly is not okay, and the whistleblower is doing the right thing. Well, mostly. It’s not really cool that now the private messages are shared with even more people!
Talking about anything privately is a private discussion and as such, not a huge problem. Sharing someone’s private messages with a group with more than two or three members is already public to an extent.
was the entire “secret” group chat dedicated to making fun of people though? That’s the thing we don’t know, it just seems like a fairly active, long running group chat, with a number of distasteful posts made over time.
If you have a secret group chat where you make fun of your friends behind their backs, then you’re an awful piece of shit. I don’t care if it’s not solely dedicated to making fun of people. If you do it enough that your friend group ostracizes you when they find out, then you deserve to be ostracized. Why are you defending this behavior? Do you do this?
bro i make fun of my friends in public. I don’t talk to people unless it’s a group. Simple as.
If it’s ok for me to be harsh with people in public, i see no reason to stop being harsh with them in private, assuming it meets those boundaries.
Then it’s not behind their back. That’s the bad part here. It’s not making fun of your friends, it’s secretly making fun of your friends. That’s the difference between “all in good fun” and “being an asshole”.
Realistically I don’t think we have enough information to judge fairly. The person is probably minimising what they did, and if that is the case may well have deserved it. But we don’t actually know what was said.
that is true, but i think this is a definite “everybody sucks” type of post.
I’m also not sure that derek needed to leak this either, especially going back like 5 years, that’s pretty unhinged. Even a “yeah i don’t like those guys i joined the group chat and it was 💀” is going to be enough to clue most people in.
That is possible too, it depends what was said.
yeah, it could be literally any flavor. It’s hard to know form the context provided.
lmfao what a fucking excuse of a reason. i hope you know i hate you. not hyperbole. i hope everyone else knows i hate you too. like genuinely, and actually; blatantly being a terrible person like you are is a large part of what is wrong with the world and i despise every single one of you chucklefucks that inches us ever further away from common decency, day by day. life isnt some fucking game.
do you recognize you’re doing olympic level mental gymnastics throughout these comments in order to make the people you identify with in the internet story the good guys or are you just incredibly dense and/or like fucking with people for kicks?
Is this a copypasta?
Gonna share this again.
This commenter said it best:
my only disagreement is that unfortunately they’ve succeeded in pushing the overton window so hard that the ratio is actually much more controversial than the comment implies. if only every edgelord here read and seriously considered this person’s reply.
Calm down and look in the mirror. You’re part of the problem
no actually, i’m done sitting and acting like that sort of shit is acceptable, no thanks.
paradox of tolerance demands you completely and decisively shut these fucks down before they takeover your society with their shitty ass rhetoric of hate. i’d rather it begin and end here on a dinky little internet forum than 15 years down the line in another gettysburg. i won’t aid and abet in the breakdown of common norms and decency, as you so kindly suggested.
Paradox of tolerance demands nothing, it is a concept that suggests some level of intolerance is required to protect overall tolerance. I don’t think it even applies here since those guys weren’t being intolerant, just despicable among themselves.
Methinks you picked that up as a buzzword to indicate and justify any time you think intolerance is called for, which is unnecessary in this case because they’re just being vile assholes that you can choose to scorn.
nope. i know what i said and i meant it.
they start like this. then they become shitty, abusive incels in adulthood. then they vote for people like the cadre of neofascist in western politics rn.
the incel to fascist pipeline is real and dangerous. and i won’t act like those who fall down it are victims and not complicit monsters anymore.
Then you’re just wrong, sorry sporto
bro holy shit i just stated my opinion and i’m being nuremberg’d now lmao.
i sure my friend didn’t order a yappuchino.
TRUE
damn bro, that’s crazy.
Unfortunately i will sleep well knowing that i don’t engage in shitty behavior with people, and that i just simply do not care about shit like this that much.
i don’t like anybody here, all of these people sound like assholes, some of them stuck up their own asses, others a bit too unfiltered for their own good. But we also don’t know the full extent of the conversation and fallout from this, so who knows what actually happened.
Regardless if derek wanted to make the point that these people weren’t great, he didn’t need to leak messages, especially not 5 year old ones. He put as much effort as possible into destroying this friend group, and i wouldn’t be surprised if this is regular behavior from him. People like that use it to their advantage, only to fuck over people later in their lives by doing the same shit lmao.
Anybody willing to without permission leak shit like is asking for trouble, legally or not.
I agree with your sentiment, but common decency has never existed. I hope you realize that
this is a fair point, i don’t disagree. it’s valid to call me out on conflating ideas of common decency with absolute morality.
that said, there are certain things that if you do; definitely make you a bad person. i think to the recently viral tweet of the ivy league ethics & philosophy professor who was absolutely aghast at incoming students’ ideas of morality. it speaks to the problem in this thread.
Derek sounds like a snitch
Good. Don’t be an asshole to your friends behind their backs. That’s trashy behavior, and you deserve to lose your friends if you do it.
Nothing in the OP suggests that anyone was being an asshole to Derek in particular.
Oh, I don’t think they’re taking about Derek…
Well I apologize if I misunderstood
seriously jesus fucking christ what about this in particular is making it such a good litmus test to root out shitty people? they’re all just immediately, unironically, unabashedly identifying themselves in the comments here, just like that lmfao.
absolute trash is absolute trash ig.
Invasion of privacy, not cool
If you think someone is shit don’t screenshot a bunch of chats, just leave and tell people you saw stuff you didn’t like
What about the people on the group chat who were disrespecting other people’s right to privacy by sharing private mesaages and pictures? It’s cool when they do it?
It’s not cool when anyone does it
Tell those particular people. Maybe screenshot those particular messages as proof. But don’t publicly share everything.
See, you misunderstand. You must either be enraged that there was a snitch, or uphold them as a paragon of justice. There is no nuance on the internet. Silly person.