Image of a hand holding a small business card. Card reads:
Dr Crobar’s Lung Extensions Shh! Don’t tell anyone I handed you this card
With extended lungs you can: • Scream longer • Breathe harder • Brag about extended lungs
This procedure is not legal but I will do it for you. Do not tell the police or my family
Nerevar you fool, do not fall for Dr crobars scam. He will not expand your lung. That is impossible Nerevar. I Dagoth Ur(the god) had extended lungs for a while until i grew to not need lungs anymore. It is a grand and intoxicating waste of money and time. I could breathe so well that i could hear the gnomes in my walls. But you will never be able to. You are not a god like I Dagot Ur(the god). No Nerevar, i cannot teach you. In fact i do not wish to teach you. You shouldn’t even attempt to have larger lungs. Nerevar, look! Over there! An Argonian Maid! Go, run. Maybe she’s lusty
This is my new favorite account on Lemmy.
Also fuck you Dagoth, I heard you talking shit. The wall gnomes tell me your boys haven’t touched grass in so long that their faces rotted off. Maybe if you got rid of that yee-yee ass golden mask you might get some goddesses on your dick. N’waaaaaah
Morrowind memes in the wild. What a time to be alive!
Nerevar, do not threaten me, especially not one week before my grand honeymoon. Has the gnome population within your walls multiplied once more? Very well, I shall handle it. But first, allow me to indulge in this newfound fascination called “Skibidi Toilet” on this realm’s peculiar platform known as YouTube. It boasts over twenty episodes, and the man with the television for a head has just experienced a change in hue, turning red for the first time.
Nerevar, return swiftly! It seems they are now flushing them down the abyss!
Death metal vocalists hate him!
The “or my family” gets me every time.
Every time? How many lung extensions did you get? 🤔
Finally I can finish a cigarette in a single breath
You spelled joint wrong.
Anyone brave enough to send an email? Curious what he charges.
I sent an email. Will update with update.
Update: received automated response.
So let us know how it went on Thursday, mate.
Otherwise, it’s been nice knowing you 👍🏻
He did not tell us. RIP
It’s illegal due to high mortality rate made me lol. Probably ≈100%
Where does that link go to?
Probably here: https://sites.google.com/view/msoespace/our-success-stories/dr-brenner-crowbar
Cracks me up that all the quotes are from the people vs crobar.
The picture of the business card in the OP is the same picture used in the site linked in the email (and in your post)
Beautiful
That shit it absolute genius.
Where does the link to learn more information about the procedure point?
Thanks! Do you mind dropping him an offer and sharing the response too?
Is anybody else getting the urge to print some of these and leave them in public places among normal business cards?
I’ve recently seen some of these at a local Smog check place in SoCal, among 40 other local business cards.
no way, that’s awesome
I know, I assumed it was a local jokester, no idea the gag was this big lol.
deleted by creator
“Lung Extensions by Ubisoft”
I’m emailing them let’s see if someone actually has that email
Look further into the comments, someone already emailed them and got a response LOL!
But hey, if you get a response that differs from that, by all means share it. 👍
Long Lung Club!
I love having my lungs go down into my thighs, it’s so fun when I sit down!
Didn’t you get the full pamphlet? They hang over like extended breasts, duh.
How does this work? Does he stretch your lungs or graft cadaver lungs on to yours? Maybe edits your dna??
Everyone has the potential to have Long Lung, Dr simply shows your lung the potential they always have had inside them.
Lungs are holes, he just extends them. You actually lose weight too so that’s a bonus.
This fella is one letter short of being called Dr. Crowbar.
I think that’s the point.
Why can’t this be real?
deleted by creator
