Why or why not?
Having been in this position, sure, but I’ve also had to end relationships because the person transitioned in a direction I wasn’t attracted to. Communicating honestly and openly is the key, as it is for pretty much everything about interpersonal relationships.
That reminds me of a friend back in WoW who said she once broke off a relationship after coming home from a holiday and finding out her boyfriend had become her girlfriend.
I somehow added an i there and was a little too excited to comment ‘Yes, who doesn’t love trains!?!?’
I love this, lol
autism has entered the chat 🚂
Yeah but I’m bi and just am into people that make me thirsty, doesn’t matter to me
Unfathomably based
If they found me attractive as well then hell yeah I’m in!
Love is love.
inaccurate username
I’m a dumbass, not a fucking idiot lol.
Great reply, dumbass
Cheers Stanky!
I’ve never been in that situation but I wouldn’t rule it out on principle.
that seems reasonable
I’m sure most of us would have internal barriers in place that would make it challenging to date someone who is different that way - no different in some ways than struggling to date someone in a wheelchair or who lives with a major disability.
But I think it makes sense to not pre-emptively judge a situation, to be open to possibility.
Are there boundaries or limitations you think would make it challenging for you to date a trans person?
You can find people attractive without wanting to date them.
true, it’s hard to fit all the context I wanted to add within a title …
my question is really meant to ask how people would react to learning someone they are attracted to and would otherwise date is trans
If I just asked “would you date a trans person” I would expect the reader to think of an ugly trans person because that’s the stereotype, and then the answer is usually no, but that doesn’t get at what I’m wondering about.
Go with, if you were romantically attracted to a person. That helps differentiate between lust and love.
well being attracted to someone doesn’t imply physical attraction to me - it’s a reasonable interpretation, but it can also mean romantic interest
Wasn’t the question…
And yet that is the answer I most relate with.
If I’m having sex with someone, and I’m very allo so that’s my assumption going into dating, genital configuration is important to me. I like cock on masc-presenting folks, so chances are cis men are exclusively where I’ll be wanting to date. If I were a little more bi/pan/ace, my answer would likely be different.
I guess the question that pops into my mind is how about a very masculine trans man who is either post-op, or uses a strap-on, would that be an option?
(My go-to example of a masculine trans man has been Buck Angel, but I really need a new example since that guy has always been an asshole and is currently becoming an anti-trans activist. It’s hard when he was a trans icon back in the day, now he’s an anti-trans icon 🫠)
Strap-ons don’t really do it for me. As far as post-op, I am not really up to speed on how advanced these are, and how well they replicate a “homegrown” set. Full disclosure, I’m Aroallo, so my physical tastes take a much higher priority than emotional attachment and commitment. I would be a way better platonic friend than a “girlfriend.”
Provided that the operations are perfectly done, my only hangup might be some remnants of my heteromisogynist upbringing. Do I want to feel like an alluring feminine mystery to someone who was never socialized with the “girlhood” experience, rather than “been there, hated it?” Maybe, and ironically I think that’s more shallow of me than the genital compatibility.
That’s a pity about Buck Angel. Haven’t heard of him before. Idk if it’s a self loathing mental health lashing out against your group thing (which I emphasize with, despite the clear harm) or a “pulling the ladder behind you” a la Blair White thing.
Yes. Because i find them attractive.
this is the right answer, here is your prize: 🎂
THE CAKE WAS NOT A LIE!!!
you forgot this part:
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There’s no “right” answer to this question.
I know, I was joking 😝
Yeah we already established in the premise I find them attractive. Of course I would.
Probably not, because ultimately, I want to play with genitals that are different from mine.
I don’t expect everyone to agree, and it’s perfectly okay for someone to have an alternative preference, and they are welcome to indulge it, but that’s just mine.
Why are you assuming their genitals would be the same as yours?
probably because only a minority are post-op
fuzzy unreliable memory of potentially unreliable numbers, but I had read over half of trans women want a vagina, but only around 12% actually have one - those numbers are probably wrong, but the overall point stands that by the numbers most trans women are likely to have a female penis.
The assumption that having a penis is essential to being a trans woman is clearly wrong, though. Most of us want a vagina, and it would be nice if access to healthcare was a priority
currently the goal seems to be to make it as hard as possible for trans people to live as their gender, which is weirdly anti-assimilationist, you would think giving a trans woman a vagina would be entirely compatible with the conservative anxieties about trans people - the better access and care we receive, the fewer visibly trans people exist … it is by denying us the means of assimilation to cis norms that we become social “problems”, which benefits no one.
I said Probably. If we can interlock, I’m good to go!
Well, I guess anal penetration is an option with pre-op women, assuming she is comfortable and knows how to facilitate that without pain or injury (I never fully figured it out myself, part of why having a vagina was important to me).
As long as it’s post op, sure. Only reasonable issue I can think of is no kids, but I don’t want kids anyway so there is basically just no issues.
Yes. I found them attractive and enjoyed their personality. I don’t care about the genitals they have.
The only issue I might have is that some of the bigotry might start coming after me for associating. I’d like to think I’m the sort of person that would stand strong against that shit but I recognize that’s easier said than done from a position as relatively comfortable as the one I’m in.
Who am I kidding, though? I’d never think through the question as long as I did being asked it as a hypothetical. I’d date her and then maybe regret it later for the tangential reason.
you are the first person to mention this! I’m shocked all the focus is on gentials when I would think the stigma and being a political scapegoat would be bigger concerns!
Follow-up question: what if she were cis passing and you didn’t experience stigma being in public together?
Personally yes. Because I can find attractive all types of primary and secondary sexual features. So there’s no problem if there are some mixed features.
But I would understand if someone who doesn’t find penises/vaginas attractive wouldn’t want to date other someone who has a penis/vagina.
That’s such a weird order of operations. Like, your medical conditions are simultaneously such a big part of your life, and yet also so deeply personal that it feels like they should not be part of the initial conversation, which is supposed to be shallow and light, not immediately heavy duty.
I think perhaps there are other more important considerations than mere trans-ness, like “do they have the same overall life goals that I have” and “are they taking care of their mind and body and fitness”. But transness may inform those aspects. If a significant focus of their life is on their own gender, I might struggle with that. If they’re already at a point where they have dealt with it and moved on to other things, then it might work. If they have comorbid issues beyond transness, like depression and anxiety, that can be a deal breaker unless they are managing themselves and putting in the work.
Me finding them attractive is already a good indication they’re trans, so…
haha, there is a solid number of Lemmy users here that are like this 😄
what do you think you find attractive about trans people - and do you think cis-passing trans people are less attractive to you?
