I want to pet the forbidden striped dog.

When I’m dragged across an array of sharp raised metal bumps on a plane until there’s a pile of me in strips and chunks on the plate below.

No, wait, that’s the grate-ist feeling, sorry.

I did a search of [email protected] for the word “sorry” (figured it wouldn’t be in as many posts as “guitar” or “learning”).

Here’s the first result: Really dumb questions about learning guitar (sorry)

Shit.

I should vwhat? Never heard of it.

False alarm, I just saw a totally legit-looking FBI video explaining that this was all a prank and to invest in rubles.

Can you imagine how disheartening it must be to go out and join a domestic terrorist organization only to have to call yourself a "proud boy’? I’d be self-conscious and ready to fight at the drop of a hat too.

If not, that could be swiftly rectified.

The only reason I think they didn’t is that their mascot isn’t a little altar boy.

OP? OP who? Sorry, we don’t have any record of an OP.

It’s a happy ending no matter which common meaning you choose to take from “[finish] the job”.

Take them anyway, I really don’t want to be stuck with a bunch of rapture reject crybabies. Burn me in hell forever, see if I give a shit, but don’t make me listen to them whine about it.

Makes me wonder whether they’re expecting to lose a significant number of young men for some reason over the next few years as well. Gotta start planning for replacements early.

Found one.

Crimea river, Ivan. Solve your leadership problem and maybe then I’ll give a fraction of a fuck about your feelings.

Funny how Allah didn’t stop her, I thought he’d be stronger than a young human woman.

Guy’s so repulsive, even bullets instinctively avoid him. Bad news for us and anyone standing behind him.

Typical religious wacko trying to lure in kids to be groomed and abused.

If the Mayans were right, guess that would mean we’re probably in Xibalbá.