Watch less, read more.
As so many others have stated here, I watch much less porn than men, but that’s because I read porn. And I read it almost every time I take care of myself. Often a picture here on Lemmy will get me turned on and I’ll decide it’s time, and then I open lit erotica on Duck Duck Go
I prefer to read Erotica :)
I’ve heard that women prefer to read porn far more than watch.
I used to live in a house with quite a few other people, we had a porn-addled friend back in the days of print magazines, he worked at a sex shop and would bring us boxes of porn, he always would pull out the one with stories and say “and forums, for the LADIES!”. It cracked me up but he wasn’t wrong.
How does one get into that type of living situation? Had to be crazy cheap
Yeah well back then we were struggling to make rent but 5 adults paying each $100 for a $500 house rent made it possible. There were a couple of babies too, we were just so poor back then. Nowadays I imagine you’d have to multiply that cost by 5 or 10, depending on the house but a 3 bedroom can hold 3 couples no problem.
I’ve never lived alone - these were people I’d lived with or near before, just friends. You need a tolerant private landlord, ours lived next door. I still see houses full of working people here in my neighborhood, sure it’s still possible.
If I had to guess, I would say it’s because most porn does not cater to women and the female gaze. When it comes to books and any kind of media that isn’t visual, you have to make up the visuals yourself, which opens up the door to creative thinking and taking control of your fantasies instead of merely being told “this is what’s happening objectively, like it or not.”
This is purely my personal observation, but the women I’ve talked to seem to have far kinkier fantasies generally than men, but are also far more shy talking about it. So maybe women lean into more “customizable” types of porn?
There is something wonderful about looking for a specific kink and then finding a woman happy to do that particular thing on camera, if it seems like she’s actually enjoying it. Like, “hey, I’m a deviant, but so is this specific woman! I’m not alone!” That might just be me though. I find that if I’m reading porn, it doesn’t have as much of an impact unless I know the author is female, or I know other women are enjoying that story a lot.
I’m probably asexual, so I don’t really watch porn. Once in a blue moon I get curious, but it never does anything for me. So there’s no point.
Interesting. I consider myself asexual as well but I watch a lot of porn. I enjoy sexual stimulation, I just don’t need another person to help me with it.
There’s probably gonna be some sort of terminological split in definitions between the two at some point.
There already is a term for this: Autosexual
That sounds quite a bit more narcissistic than just not having any sexual interest in others.
It’s very interesting that you say that because it’s one of the reasons why I don’t simply call myself “asexual” and why I don’t identify with the community.
I remember discovering the asexual community over 10 years ago and being excited that I finally found people that are like me. But then I was immediately met with confusion at how…sexual…everyone was. People would masturbate regularly or even have sex regularly. I didn’t get it and it didn’t seem to fit to me.
A better descriptor for me would be someone that has a non-existent libido and cannot physically feel sexual pleasure, but that’s a bit tmi for a general post.
I’m quite sexual, but I also have no interest in sexual relations, except with my partner, who is asexual, so now I’m asexual in a way. If I find another partner I’m truly into, then I might have sex again, but I don’t really care either way. It’s something of an enigma even to me. She encourages me all the time to find another partner again, but the drive just isn’t there anymore.
I almost wholly agree with you. Just for me, personally, I do see a “point” in reading/“watching” porn even if it doesn’t get me aroused; it’s a source of entertainment and sometimes an art form, just like any other media. I never can get beyond hot and excited though, so it also doesn’t “do” anything for me.
I could see that. Personally, I don’t find porn artistic at all, but I actually do gravitate towards sex scenes in shows/movies actually for the reasons you stated!
Less. Maybe once every few weeks. It feels like a chore, lots of porn is abusive, derogatory, just very male oriented. I want hardcore but consensual, I don’t want to see cum flipping every which way, I don’t want fake moans and dudes ego-slapping their cocks. All of this to say, I want good, hard porn, but not that porn.
Luckily my imagination is good, so just a good story or image is enough of a baseline for me. Also, super lame to say, but my best wank bank material is good sex with my husband. I think about that a lot.
“Watch” implies visual media, but in my experience women read tons of smut while men tend to enjoy photos and videos. You need to include smut to make it interesting, I think, because that might at least leave some doubt as to the outcome.
In my limited experience, a lot of women also refuse to categorize their smut as porn. It’s just a “romance novel”. Or “fan fiction”. So that makes including reading difficult.
Nah, erotica is a separate category from books with sex.
I love, love , love the Kushiel’s Dart trilogy, and it’s got sex, violence, violent sex and sexual violence, but I read it for the story, the sex in the books serves the story.
Erotica I would look at BDSMErotica on Reddit, or on Literotica, those stories I would use more like guys use visual porn,
Less. I think movements against pornography have great points, so I rarely consume erotic or pornographic content now.
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Ok I get it there’s very few women on lemmy, but maybe we should be encouraging more to join/participate instead of keeping it as a kind of toxic boys-only club?
I think there are definitely less women than men but probably more women than it seems like.
I know I don’t mention I’m a woman unless it’s relevant, like this post. Sometimes, I’ll even purposefully use vague language or gender-neutral terms because I don’t want to get condescending interactions or feel like I have to be a perfect representation of a woman in order to dispel stereotypes.
E.g. Although I love technology and tinker with a home lab and small Arduino projects, I’m not about to look like an absolute CS genius if someone feels like confirming a bias they have about women and CS skills.
AKA “You like baseball?? Name every player on the Cubs twenty years ago then.”
That’s fair. I do wish we could get to a point where women don’t have to hide.
Oh, you like CS?
Then how did you solve the P/NP problem?
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Hey now. I’m sure the one woman here, not promoting her OF, has an opinion.
That’s not the issue…
I watch way more porn than any boyfriend I’ve ever had and more than my husband and have zero profit motive.
Therefore I will not elaborate.
I mean…that’s you, answering the question? What exactly is the issue?
Once upon a time, people uploaded their personal porn for free. Now everyone and their mother have an OF.
So frustrating, but it makes sense. “I enjoy doing this, so why not also make money at it?”
But then you get those people mixing with the “I don’t like this at all, I’m just in it for the money” actors and it’s this whole icky mess.
I miss the days when people just did it for fun.
It’s ultimately following a general online trend here. YT and other platforms were similar in that regard. From just random people uploading things for the fun of it, to an over-commercialization that turned everything into clickbait and how to make your content be the best for monetization purposes. In regards to porn I think the great Pornhub purge also killed a lot of interest of the few remaining people who did this for fun. Not everyone wants to personally expose themselves via ID for verification purposes.
Shit, I forgot about that. Goddamn FOSTA/SESTA Christian misogynist lawmakers.
Does it count as watching porn if you’re editing you OF content?
If you masturbate to your own videos while you do it, I guess?
Much less. Sure enough I detest the porn industry and everything it stands for, but sometimes I get cravings. Once in a while I look up pegging porn, and there was a period some months ago where I read hentai.
I wish those frisky vintage magazines would make a comeback, filled with erotic and (con)sensual photography. Depicting all bodies and pairings. Include a little light bondage or hint at pegging/reversed gender roles and I’d be a monthly subscriber.
Campout Magazine is woman owned and has a very vintage and retro feel.
I checked them out just now, looks interesting. Have you got any more suggestions on you?
No since I’m also asexual.
Cis-woman with female bits here. Sounds like I might be an odd one out, but I float between amateur video, digital hentai manga, and Literotica.
I have to have porn of some sort to orgasm with my hitachi. I can orgasm manually without porn, but it’s not as full-body as the vibe orgasm, so I only do it this way when circumstances require it.
I Netflix and chill myself maybe 2-3x a week, which is partially because it can take a while, and because other people, who aren’t my partner, need to be in another part of the house because the vibe is not silent.
So that’s generally how much I use porn. 2-3x a week.
To answer your question, if you mean the porn to bate session ratio is closer to 1:1, then I might win that over men because I use porn every time I jill off. If you mean a higher frequency of porn sessions, then men will probably win because I only DJ my EP a couple times a week.
Side note: It seems like a lot of men can orgasm from photos, which is baffling to me. I can’t get to Planet Orgasm from that train. Maybe it’s different types of imagination versus a male v. female thing.
Ok let me start by saying I LOVE the euphemisms
I find it unusual that many women can apparently orgasm from reading porn, without any direct visual stimulus. So I suppose just different things stimulate different people. I can get off from just pictures, but it’s difficult. Pictures with some sort of tag, or comment, or other interaction from someone who is clearly the person in the picture? That’s way hotter to me. Even if they’re not talking to me, specifically, there’s still a level of human connection, like a verification from the person that “yes, I posted this photo of me and I would like people to masturbate to it”.
I’m enjoying the brain rot jargon scheme.
In my experience (which is limited, I don’t often ask friends about their mastubatory habits) most men have about a1:1 porn to masturbation ratio as well.
It seems like a lot of men can orgasm from photos
As in without any physical stimulation? I’m pretty sure that’s not very common, but I may be wrong.
Nah, with stimulation. I’m saying I can’t get all the way to an orgasm with just a photo so it amazes me that a lot of dudes can. Maybe my horny imagination is just broken.
