Copy + paste small business tyrant investment. Like a ghost kitchen. They all just copy each other because it returns a consistent profit.
There is probably some kind if grotesque item in the menu as a “draw”, too. The Tower of Cheese. The Bacon Bun. The [town name] challenge, a dish made of 34 kinds of flesh. Get in here, techbros! Get your grub.
Seen this meme tons of times and I never noticed the menu was lorem ipsum
Don’t forget the smugness. These types of places always have such smug staffing, like they think they shit gold or something. It’s like bitch please, you’re demanding someone pay a day’s wage for you to fuck up ground beef. Fuck off out of here with your foofoo bullshit burger.
The most mediocre dining experience (for the money) I’ve ever had was at a restaurant called “Smallwares.” Emphasis on small, it turns out. Case in point, we ordered duck breast, which cost a fair bit. I was picturing at least a fair amount, but it was the smallest smidgen slivered up with a dollop of sauce. It was the same with every dish, high prices for not much food.
Sure there were other places that had worse food. One remote dinner lacked any fresh food, but you can’t really help that when you’re in the middle of nowhere. But never have I felt like I was being fed by Famine from Good Omens.
The best burgers are found in places that look like you have to bribe a health official to get a barely passing grade
Not just burgers, that seems to be the best food in general
see: all of Spain
An angry Turkish man who doesn’t say hello, just glares sullenly at you until you order.
The best of those that I’ve found are often restaurant/something else in the same building. Like restaurant/laundromat. Or restaurant/rug shop.
Or the absolute worst. And they did bribe a health official.
And the opposite of this, if the menu is plain text and pictures of food that were taken with a digital camera from 2009 then its going to be fantastic
Burger place with yellowed ceiling tiles and a laminated menu? That shit is gonna be good.
Because these places are passionate about food. The fancy ones are passionate about money and profit. I see it all over California, it’s absolutely true.
Best burger I ever had was in this weird, kinda yellowing, almost dirty place in New York. They didn’t have tables as much as seats with like a board that came across, like one of those school desks you see in movies.
If I’m ever in New York again I’m going to try and find it, though I’m fucked if I can remember where it was or what it was called.
Worst place I ate brought the raw burger to you next to a boiling hot slab of rock. I was expected to cook my own burger the way I liked it. Well fuck you, I’m paying you to cook my meal. Plus it just seemed disgusting to have raw meat at the table anyway
Is this like American hot pot?
Australian hot pot, you have to catch the sheep yourself.
It’s not a restaurant but the sheep looks kinda hot.
Pretty common grilling meat yourself in Japan, but for a steak just asking for how you want it done makes way more sens.
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Half the staff are wearing wool beanies in dead ass middle of summer
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Sides are a la carte, fries come in a metal cup with newspaper-style wax/parchment paper
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The bottom bun is falls-apart-soggy by halfway through
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Claims to have a huge selection of craft beers…all IPAs, a stout, a sour, and PBR
run by four interchangeable lumbersexual white guys in their mid 20s who are having the time of their lives and one white chick in her late 20s who is just so over it.
This is so like… 2014
yeah that’s about the last time i walked into one of them places.
Lol that is so spot-on I can’t believe the parallels never occurred to me. One exception though, I really had good burgers in such a place in Haarlem / NL.
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Burgers are served on a scaffold board/shovel/roof tile
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Coleslaw is always referred to as house 'slaw.
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Menu prices omit the $ sign/£ sign.
Eg. Triple cooked fries 4
Menu prices omit the $ sign/£ sign.
“Gourmet bacon and cheese burger - 15”
15 what? Pence?
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You forgot the black gloves! Those are required by law.
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So the city I live in has a few of these and they’re some of the best burgers in town, for fairly reasonable prices.
There’s a fucking war on here for the best burger and I’m so happy for it. We don’t fuck around with burgers.
They’re so good and reasonably priced that the first time I saw this meme I was a little confused. Like yeah the aesthetic is kinda lame but that doesn’t change the food. Maybe the stools aren’t comfortable but like, there are regular tables. Like what’s the problem??
Then I went to another city.
My friends, I am so, so, sorry. You don’t deserve this. Good burgers aren’t hard, they’re really not. Just stay home, invest in a griddle. Even if it’s just a small one for your stove top, you can make better burgers at home. Make friends with a local butcher, he won’t steer you wrong. I don’t know what caused that trend but I know the only way to stop it is to stop going.
My city has both, and they’re decorated the same. I just wonder whether a really good burger place did this first and then crappy ones showed up to copy the decor and forgot to make the food good.
There was a place like this near my old work and my boss would often offer to pay. I naturally ordered a couple mediocre burgers and overly seasoned truffle fries with sage for some reason.
Thankfully there was a similar coffee place next door, but that’s a good thing in their case (that coffee was fire)
Sed Porttitor isn’t even that good, I dunno why they need it on their menu a half a dozen times.
You gotta try the Proin Ultrices
At the risk of playing into the stereotype: But what about Ut Gravida?
Yeah but only the #2 dessert ut gravida is any good. The #2 ut gravida main dish is for suckers.
look. imagine a place where the burger is not native. where the best burger you can hope for is… adequate.
imagine, if you will, a country shaped like a schnitzel.
in the twilight zone.
This is absolutely not true.
Sometimes it’s a very mediocre $8 taco.
The only good thing is that most of those places have some sort of black bean or veggie burger.
I’ve tried a lot of these veggie burgers and tbh at least where I’m from most of the time they kinda suck. I’ve had a few really really good ones but mostly they tasted mid.
Since the rise of Impossible/Beyond those are the only veggie burgers I can stand. If I want beans then I’ll order beans, ya know?
I agree on most of them being kinda mediocre but at least I can always get something when my friends are in the mood for burgers.
It’s the most hit or miss thing I can get as a vegan. It’s either a really great in-house, well seasoned patty. Or just a morning star frozen thing with grease as it’s only seasoning.
And even then, you need to ask if it contains egg.
It can be hit and miss from my experience as well. We have a bar and grill place that has a black bean burger and the fucking patty is 1/2 lb and an inch thick. The burger tastes good but it’s way too much bean and it ends up being a chore to eat. We have a fast food place that has a black bean burger that is pretty thin but you get a lot of veggies on it and it is all pretty balanced. We have a local hipstery joint similar to the meme posted that has amazing food all around but they have a beyond burger and a black bean burger and it’s actually nice to have that option but they also always have like 3 other vegan options.
Burgercore!
