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You’re both sadist and poetic boor.
And then he spoke not a word more.
*badum...*Y’know, no, this is so terrible, I will not finish the rimshot.I find the fifth line a chore
and then he said nothing more.
Not enough syllables
eh 7-10 in lines 1, 2, and 5. cold have been more consistent but its not like its a haiku. kind of ruins the joke to write a last line anyway
And with that he walked out the door
Reminds me of an oldie:
“Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, This one don’t.”
Yes these kinds of works works best when you sing them like bards would. Just reading them as is is not as good. Or you can sing them like tenacious d (they got the bard style going on)
I knew it as
Roses are red.
Violets are blue
I hate rhyming.
ZebraI will occasionally go out of my way to put together birthday cards etc for friends and family rather than buy something off the rack. One year I made this for my cousin:
Roses are red
(Rose dot jpeg)
Violets are too
(Violet in red dot jpeg)
open
I ran out of cyan
Happy birthday
“…I can’t think of a single word more.”
The audience always wants more
Not a limerick but I want to share my favorite pun joke
I once submitted ten puns to a pun contest, hoping one would win, but
No pun intendedI always thought that joke needs an actual pun in the first half so the “no pun intended” has a valid double meaning. I came up with:
I told the sad ghost ten puns to raise its spirits. No pun intendid.
It’s word play.
No pun intended.
“No pun in ten did [win the contest]”Yes I understand. It works spelled that way. But “no pun intended” doesn’t work because there was no pun in the initial setup. In my version both meanings make sense
HA! Nice!
Hadn’t seen this one before but I saw this in a book:
There once was a man from Peru,
Whose limericks stopped at line twoand then later in the same book they had
There once was a man from Verdun
thousand yard stare
Verdun here
I like this.
There are two types of people:
- Those who can extrapolate
eye twitches from incomplete data
I figured that was a double layer of extrapolation.
Also couldn’t be bothered typing the rest on a phone.
There are 10 types of people in the world
-Those who understand binary
-those who don’t
-those who didn’t expect this to be in ternary?
All bases are base 10.
All bases are belong to us
- base10, provably
There was once an unfortunate bard
Who found fashioning limericks hard.
He stopped at line three
“Yer Mom was a ________”
Sick duck?
Nice lady who makes delicious snacks.
whose limericks stopped at line four
Bad rhythm. Should be “whose limericks would stop at line four”
That depends on whether you treat “limericks” as a trochee (long-short, i.e. “lim-ricks”) or a dactyl (long-short-short, i.e. “lim-er-icks”).
Egerlach, they once called this bard
Who’d school any with whom he did spar
Whether trochee or dactyl
word choice was impec’ble
master of prosody, unflappable.
There once was a bard from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
When told this was so
He replied, 'Yes, I know"
“But I always try and fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can.”there’s really no need to say more
God fucking damn genius.
