I would be seen as downright evil if I do that.

Being downright evil is the secret ingredient to becoming rich. It doesn’t work for everyone, but all the richest people are evil.

It is a sound financial advice, but also a morally terrible one. It’s your call which of these is more important to you.

I’m not American, but in my culture it is not that deep rooted, that you have to care for your parents.
Maybe because we have a public pension system. But when the pension is not enough and a person has to relay on social security authorities will check the income of all direct relatives. Depending on your income you are obligated to support your kids and parents.

Since they are under no obligation to help their kids I would say the answer is yes.

We just do what we need to do. If my parents needed help and I could help them, I would. Right now I need help and they’re helping me. I’m just trying to get back on my feet so I can be ready to help whem im finally needed.

I’ve never heard of the show that was referenced. I know many Americans that have financially supported their elder parents. Basically the quality of care that their parents receive is based on how much the adult children can afford.

I feel like some American seniors have more money than their adult children, and the children expect to receive an inheritance once their parents die.

If someone has reasons for not financially supporting their parents, like a deeply strained relationship due to past trauma caused by the parent, I suppose I could understand that.

But America is a big country. I’m sure there are assholes that tell their 90 year old parent to get a job when they could afford to help. But I feel like most Americans would recognize this as cruel.

Many Americans live paycheck to paycheck, and can’t afford to give much.

I think it’s lazy advice to tell people they can save money by not giving their family financial assistance.

In the UK unless your parents are particularly poor it is not that common to support them.

We have a socialised pension that most should be able to live on. And most people have private or government pensions as well.

Americans are not a monolith, but instead all over the place with regard to a cultural practice like care for the elderly. If you had to summarize it might be fair to say that there is more of a sense of freedom from obligation to care for elders than in some other places, which is also driven by the baby boomer generation being so entitled and the current younger generations encountering ever worsening economic prospects which the boomers are stereotypically blind and unsympathetic towards. Also, there is a greater recognition of abuse and sometimes that leads to the recognition that ones elders have been abusive and therefore can go fuck themselves.

There’s no one right answer. It totally depends on you, your parents, and your dynamic. Did/do your parents treat you like shit? Did they blow through their all of their retirement money in 5 years? Are they in a 800k empty house but refuse to downsize for no good reason?

No most Americans do end up supporting their parents. On the other hand, I think most Americans would agree that their parents don’t deserve financial support merely for being their parents. You support your family because you like them and not because it’s a requirement.

Also, I think a lot of younger people begrudge their parents for not handling their own financials better, especially as the younger generations see how much harder some things are than they used to be.

For example, my in-laws collectively make over 6 figures and inherited a house decades ago that’s worth almost a million dollars due to housing inflation. They absolutely could have a reasonable retirement plan, but they don’t. They spend money as fast as they get it and won’t be passing their house down like their parents did because they have multiple large loans against the house. They use this money to go on vacations every other month and own more vehicles than they really need. They also mentioned to me recently that they would like it if we could try to buy a house with extra rooms for when they get old and need to be taken care of.

I’m not going to let my wife’s parents be homeless when they inevitably can’t work, but I do find it somewhat infuriating that their lack of planning is going to cost me potentially a huge amount of money.

Last, just to add more confusion to this, there are a number of US states which have familial responsibility laws. These laws mean that you can be found legally liable for certain debts accumulated by your parents. This is the exception rather than the norm but it does demonstrate that Americans aren’t actually as independent as they would have you believe.

I’d ask how much your parents helped you.

Yeah don’t listen to Dave Ramsey. I remember hearing him speak on TV as a kid and something just felt off about him, but not quite as bad as Suze Orman.

I don’t think he’s a scammer, and some of the stuff he says is perfectly sensible and useful, but he (a boomer) also gives advice that isn’t how he got rich, to millennials and co, who will never ever get rich following it. Structurally that makes him pretty out of touch, and suggests anyone who listens to him should do so critically.

That’s putting aside that he’s also kind of just telling people to do capitalism harder, and everything that comes with that.

I’ve never heard this before, and it sounds gross and stupid. If you have the power to help your family then do it. Ignore the psycho who lets his parents wallow in poverty.

Although personally I’m more broke than my parents so it’s not an option.

You have to realize American culture and society is one based on greed and selfishness. We’re bombarded with the philosophy that we should all be Rugged Individualists, or Got Mine, F@#k You. The Powers That Be think everything is transactional, and everything should have a monetary cost. Selfishness is a virtue, kindness is weakness, and empathy is for women and the weak. So, dump grandma in a nursing home with employees being paid $10 an hour, and go live your best life! YOLO!

That said, not all Americans are this, or believe these things, at least no consciously. But it’s all pervading in our culture.

I think the underlying sentiment of the finance gurus in this scenario is not “don’t help your family” but rather “you need to put your own oxygen mask on first before attempting to help those around you.”

If your financial house isn’t in order, helping someone out of their hole first only hurts your cause. (If you only look at finances in isolation and ignore significant relationships…)

In America, the way it’s supposed to work is that your parents aren’t supposed to need your financial support.